


Fire and Ice

by selenestar



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arranged Marriage, Claiming, F/M, Family Secrets, Loss of Virginity, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-10-28 05:43:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 57,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10824963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selenestar/pseuds/selenestar
Summary: To have that once in a lifetime love would be great, Lady Siobhan’s just not naïve enough to believe in one. Prince Roan knows that kind of love is out there but he doesn’t think he’ll ever find it. When the two cross paths that great love becomes a reason to hope for one and a gilded prison for the other. The choices the two of them make lead to an incredible adventure that changes their lives forever.





	1. Obligations

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fic so be gentle with me! This is set in the 100 universe pre-skaikru landing. Some industry has been recovered since Praimfaya, most notably some agriculture, horse breeding, medicine and swordsmithing. The architecture has recovered or been rebuilt a little bit more than was shown in the show. Also there has been some amount of literature recovered from Tondc. Roan's grandfather King Theo is still alive as is Queen Nia. I created my own clan called Bluegrass that holds territory in present day Kentucky. Siobhan is pronounced Shiv awn.  
> If you want to know what Siobhan looks like here's the link to the photo of the actress on IMDB.  
> http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2399383/mediaviewer/rm949351168?ref_=nm_ov_ph  
> Anyway hope you like it carry on!

I’m just about at my limit but I refuse to stop. I’m going to put Aiden on his ass if it kills me. I can see him gauging my condition and it pisses me off. I know he’s going to call a halt to our sparring just a second before he blocks my last swing and takes a step back.

“Siobhan it’s time to end it, you’re exhausted and it’s making you sloppy.”

Hell I hate it when he’s right. I blow out a hard breath and let my shoulders drop.

“Father received another request for my hand.”

“That’s not unusual.”

“No but as soon as he read it he went into his privy chambers with his advisors.”

Aiden is quiet. He’s seen father’s response to solicitations of marriage for me before. They always end with a politely worded refusal sent off the next morning, not a hastily assembled meeting.  
I look up and see what I’m sure is compassion on his face but I’m still so angry it comes across as pity. I launch myself at him spoiling to continue the fight. I strike a glancing blow on his shoulder and turning with it realize I left myself open too late to recover it. Aiden swiftly takes advantage of my momentum and steps to the side, putting his right foot behind my knee and shoving me off balance. I painfully wind up face first in the dirt. Rolling over onto my back I find him holding his hand out.

“I don’t have to tell you how you screwed that one up do I?”

“No dammit.”

“Whatever happens Siobhan I have no doubt you’ll get through it.”

I’m too tired to hold onto my anger so I take his hand and stand up to brush the dirt off.

“He’s never taken any of the letters seriously, he’s always rejected them!”

“Did you see the Clan symbol on the letter?”

“No, he tucked it into his robes too fast for me to get a look at it.”

Aiden reached out and took my practice blade, exiting the ring and setting it in the rack next to his.

“The cooks will be announcing dinner soon, you’ll get your answers then no doubt. Go get cleaned up, no use fretting over it right now.”

I knew he was right but that didn’t stop my mind from running in mad circles after I leave the training room. I don’t want to be a broodmare to an indifferent husband. I don’t want to be reduced to a piece of property, not allowed to speak my mind or train with a sword. In the world before Praimfaya monarchies were all but extinct and the genders were equals but in the decades since a lot of mankind went right back to the old ways. Now at least half the clans are ruled by oppressive patriarchies. My brother’s wife is fortunate, Conall is more liberal than most. Maybe I’ll get lucky though and this proposal will be from one of the less orthodox clans.

Who was I kidding? My father would hold out. We were the Horse Lords of Clan Bluegrass. The fiercest of warhorses came from our stables and we were prosperous and strong. Of course my father wouldn’t entertain a proposal from any but the most powerful of the clans and that’s what scares the hell out of me.

Igrainne crosses the bathing room to give me a hug as soon as I walk in.

“I heard about the letter.”

“Father kinda forgot I existed when he started teaching Conall kingcraft. I guess I got used to it being some vague future. All the other offers he dismissed out of hand and I never worried about it. This is the first time he’s involved the council.”

“You’re sure it was a marriage proposal?”

“Yes I saw the gold cord under the wax.”

I figured out pretty young what the colors on the cords meant. Gold was a marriage proposal, I had seen plenty of those. It was tradition for my father to bless all the handfastings in our lands whether they were from a stable boy or a minor lord so he received numerous letters with the ubiquitous gold cords tied around the letter and affixed with wax. There weren’t a lot of families that had been granted the right to use a cipher with the wax seal and I was familiar with all of them so I knew the one father received this evening was from a foreign clan. Letters tied with red cord were declarations of war and thankfully rare nowadays. Every clan in what used to be the continental United States has purchased horses from us at one time or another and none of them wanted to risk censure. Diplomatic missives always came tied with a cord of blue and were the source of many late nights in discussion with the council. Silver was an invitation to a celebration, usually a Conclave or coronation. You’d think an invitation to a fancy party would be something I looked forward to but those were letters I dreaded. I was happiest in leathers and muddy boots, mucking out a stall or repairing a paddock fence. Covered in sweat and sparring with Aiden. Sneaking a card game and a beer with the stable boys. Attending an official party meant a dress and proper manners and it was a pain in my ass.

Igrainne steps back, takes my face in her hands and kisses me on the forehead.

“No matter what lies ahead you’re strong enough to handle it Siobhan.”

“That’s what Aiden said.”

“And he would be right.”

My sister Fiona comes in with her chambermaid Jana and her lip curls when she sees me in my dirty pants. I brace myself for the jealousy.

“That proposal should have been mine you know.”

“Yes well I’m not all that happy about it and if I could give it to you I would.”

“I don’t understand you Siobhan, you’ve been proposed to by the….”

She cuts herself off when she realizes she just gave away that she knows who the letter is from.

“You saw the clan symbol, please tell me.”

“I was there when father received it yes but I’m not saying anything. I mean you have a proposal I would kill for and you don’t even want it.”

“Unlike you I’m not willing to be some man’s trophy Fiona, I don’t care how rich or handsome he is.”

Fiona looks like she really can’t fathom someone not wanting to sit around and do nothing but have babies, wear pretty dresses and boss the servants around.

“Well I can’t wait to see the look on your face when father makes the announcement.”

With that she goes over to the opposite side of the bathing pool and has Jana begin to prepare her for dinner.

I turn away and ignore the painful twinge in my heart. Fiona and I were thick as thieves when we were little. She was only 2 years my junior and Conall only a year older than me. I had so many fond memories of the three of us acting out the great adventures we read about in the books mother would bring us from Polis. We were the triumvirate of Rome, the Three Musketeers, Blackbeard, Flint and Long John Silver. After mother passed away father became overbearing with Fiona. I don’t know why he dismissed me and smothered her but she resented the loss of freedom and blamed me for it. Things hadn’t been right between us since and I’d long since given up trying to fix it.

Igrainne bless her heart didn’t let me dwell on it a minute more. She plops me down on the bench and tugs off my boots. Helping me out of my tunic and leathers next she launches into a truly detailed account of catching Ione and Sean up in the south hay loft with a distinct lack of clothing when they were supposed to be securing the paddocks for the night.

“I could have told them the hay loft is no place for those kind of shenanigans. I’d wager Sean will be picking splinters out of his arse for the next week he went down the ladder so fast.”

I live for Igrainne’s gossip and I almost miss the edge of the tub getting in I’m laughing so hard. I really hope father will let her come with me when I get married. It’s not unheard of for chambermaids to accompany their ladies when they travel to their new husband’s court and Igrainne’s been with me since almost before I could walk. It was Igrainne who bore the brunt of my rages to the uncaring universe that decided my mother’s life needed to end under the hooves of an out of control horse. It was Igrainne who dried a gallons worth of tears when my father all but ignored me after it happened and Fiona abandoned me.

She got me ready for dinner in record time and shooed me out the door. Sadly I was forced to wear a dress since council members would be attending tonight thanks to the proposal and that meant a more formal atmosphere than I enjoyed when it was just family.

My brother’s wife Catriona rises from the table to greet us as soon as soon as we walk into the dining room. Her cheeks are flush with enthusiasm over my proposal and she has a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek for me and smile for Fiona. She has no reason to know I am apprehensive about the contents of this letter. She’s a sweet girl who truly loves my brother and for that I am thankful but she has always been happy as just a decoration on his arm and the caretaker for his children. As weird as I thought it was in the beginning that my brother had chosen a wife who was afraid of horses I never held her any ill will.

“I can’t wait to hear your proposal!”

I make an effort to smile and fidget like I’m on pins and needles instead of what I really am which is vaguely nauseous. Conall stands and gives me a perfunctory bow along with the rest of the men at the table and we all take our seats as the cooks bring in the food. Even though I’ve seen it numerous times since Conall was officially declared my father’s heir, seeing him act so formal is still so odd. This is the same man who hid all my illicit activities from father even while begging me to act more like a lady. Told father I was tucked in bed the night I snuck out with the tanner’s boy because I wanted to know what a kiss felt like. Walked in on me sitting with Igrainne and the cook staff late one night while they were teaching me how to please a man and who to this day can’t look Lanie, our dairy maid in the eye without blushing. Didn’t try and talk me out of it when I begged Aiden to train me despite fervently believing it was highly inappropriate for a woman of my stature to be taking up training with our sword master.

“Where’s the munchkin?”

Catriona smiles brightly. “I sent her upstairs to get ready for bed, she was so hyped up about the letter we figured we’d better start story time early or she won’t get to sleep till after the horses are in. Niamh is convinced the letter is from a prince who rides on a Pegasus just like the old legend of Bellerophon who will whisk you away to his magical castle.”

If only that were anywhere near the truth.

My father cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention. I froze with my wineglass halfway to my mouth. Fiona flashes me a spiteful glare.

“As some of you know already a messenger arrived this evening with a formal proposal of marriage for Siobhan this evening.”

He wasn’t even waiting till after dinner to make the announcement. Though that may have been a good thing, I doubt I could have kept anything down at this point. I felt Catriona take my hand under the table and squeeze it.

“Along with the very generous terms of this proposal a token of intent was sent.”

A servant steps up beside me and lays a beautifully polished pine box next to my plate. My hands are shaking as I lift the lid and inside is a pristine rabbit hide, pure as the driven snow. I look up and the whole room is focused on me. It’s oppressively silent and I want to run screaming from the room. I unfold the soft fur and nestled in its embrace is a magnificent torc. Bright silver strands like moonbeams gracefully twist together and terminate in twin running wolves. Under any other circumstances I would be in awe of this jewelry, it was clearly made by a master. As it is I would like nothing more than to send the damn thing back, to me it's a gilded cage. Catriona gasps at its beauty and runs one tentative finger around its circumference. Following her finger I look more closely at the wolves and am hit with trepidation. Deeply engraved into the flanks of both wolves is a stylized rendition of the hand and spiral of the Ice Nation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you all know this is an OC-centric fic set in the 100 universe. That being said I spend some time establishing the main character and her world so you have to wait for the pairing. If you are patient I promise it'll be worth it.....I hope.


	2. Ruminations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan thinks back to when she first saw the Ice Nation warriors and met Roan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics will always be flashbacks.  
> Roan's POV will be in bold.

I sit there in shock but father relentlessly continues.

“I have accepted the proposal and will be sending my response in the morning. King Theodoric indicated that if the terms are acceptable in two weeks Prince Roan will be making the journey here to escort you to your new home. You will not fight me on this Siobhan, I have been reticent in ensuring you take your proper place, an oversight I am rectifying. I expect you to bring honor to your clan as the new Princess Consort of Azgeda.”

Clearly father was not as oblivious to my escapades as my brother and I had thought.

I look over and even Catriona who firmly believes every noble marriage comes with a handsome prince and a happily ever after is sitting there with her hand over her mouth. She has cause for concern, the Ice Nation is feared among all the clans for good reason. Their military might is unparalleled, they have a reputation for being ruthless, uncompromising and brutal. The one and only time I got to see their warriors in person was at the Ascension Conclave for the new Commander two years ago and it was closer than I would have liked.

_I remember we were staying at the villa of an ally in Polis and I was sitting out on the balcony with Conall and Igrainne. We were chatting about the new Commander Lexa being the first woman to ascend in sometime and debating how long we thought she’d hold the position before she was challenged when the horns announced the parade of warriors coming down the roadway. First came Trikru, the Commander was one of their own and so of course they took precedence. Following them were the other clans including my father and our ambassador Ronan, Aiden riding just behind them as their personal guard looking so handsome in his ceremonial armor. When I was little I harbored such a huge crush on him but childish love eventually became respect and a deep abiding friendship despite our age difference. When I asked him to train me he didn’t hesitate and by the ancestors he didn’t hold back either. He treated me no differently than any other student of his and that meant more to me than I think even he understood._

_Conall and I were squabbling over the last bite of goat cheese when a hush fell over the crowd. I looked toward the end of the street and saw the Ice Nation delegation making their way down. Crown Prince Roan was out front, sitting astride a great blood bay at least eighteen hands high at the shoulder. A tiny part of my mind took note the stallion was clearly from our stables by the look of his lines and took pride in that. The rest of me was struck dumb by the sight of twenty warriors in black from head to toe, their faces painted chalk white and eyes as black as coal. They looked neither left nor right, sitting their mounts with deceptively casual form. It was like looking at a pack of wolves, barely leashed violence that promised swift death. They didn’t even have to do anything for their presence to metaphorically take up all the space in the area. It made a bigger impact than Trikru with all their banners and glory and a perverse part of me thought that was funny. When their retinue came abreast of us Prince Roan looked up and directly at me. The torchlight hit his piercing blue eyes and for a moment they gleamed in their depths as if reflecting the light. I cursed having red hair that stood out like a sore thumb and wondered if this was what prey felt like at the end of pursuit. As I stood there rooted to the spot his gaze slowly traveled from my face, briefly lingered on my cleavage and then drifted over the rest of me like a phantom caress. My trepidation was immediately washed away by a wave of anger, I did not appreciate being looked at like a piece of meat and I lifted my chin in defiance. Roan’s eyes narrowed and the corner of his mouth lifted in a tiny smirk before he turned away heading to the tower._

_“Ok that was rude.”_

_“I did not like the way he looked at you Siobhan.”_

_I recognize the look my brother is giving Roan’s retreating back and roll my eyes._

_“I appreciate the chivalry but please don’t challenge him, he’ll flatten you.”_

_I stare at him unblinkingly till he folds his arms in a huff._

_“Fine.”_

**I’m not comfortable with the crowd, too many competing scents, and too much noise. Gungnir picks up on my unease and yanks on the bit so I take a breath and consciously force myself to relax. Echo looks over at me with a raised eyebrow. I shake my head and face forward. She doesn’t say a word, she doesn’t have to. She can feel my discomfort along the pack bond. I see the faces of the people lining the thoroughfare out of the corner of my eye, smell their fear, their jealously, their arousal. I’m certain I’ll have plenty of challengers at the games this year.**

**I’m pondering how soon I can make a graceful exit from the Ascension ceremony tonight when it hits me like a thunderbolt, the beguiling scent of Mate. My hand falls slack from the reins and I tip my head back to take in more of it. Sweet orange blossom, sharp clove and fresh cedar curls around me and into my lungs like smoke, stealing my breath and making me dizzy. My heart starts to race and I can feel the wolf just under the surface scratching at my skin.**

**Echo puts a hand on my shoulder.**

**“My prince are you alright?”**

**“My mate, she’s here.”**

**At those words Echo sits up and nudges her horse a little closer to mine. Our existence has been a well-kept secret in the North since long before Praimfaya and she knows the chaos that would ensue if I lost control of myself right now.**

**“Can you make it to the tower?”**

**I exhale and close my eyes.**

**“Yeah.”**

**She nods and leans back in her saddle. The rest of the pack felt the ghost of it of course but they don’t comment and I accept the quiet support. I sit there momentarily stunned. I didn’t think I would ever find my mate. Every year that passed and left me alone was harder to bear. I had my pack and I had my duty to my people but without a mate to share my life with that fulfillment was missing. I send up a silent thank you to the Gods of the North and focus on getting to the tower.**

**We’re about halfway to it and her scent keeps getting stronger. I’m subtly scanning the crowds on either side of the street to see if I can identify her. It would be a lot easier if I was in wolf form but that’s not an option right now. I see the bailey is approaching and I’m thinking I might have to sneak out after dark and scout around when I finally see her up on a second floor balcony. She’s standing next to a tall dark haired man I can tell her is her brother by his scent. They look to be bickering over food and she’s laughing at him. I take advantage of the pause while the horses up front are escorted into the bailey to look my fill. The firelight dances over her summer dress, kisses the tops of her breasts and gives tantalizing hints of the rest of her curves. Her hair is a wild riotous tumble of red I want to bury my hands in. It‘s a good thing Gugnir is paying attention to where he’s going because I can’t tear my gaze away from her. I’m right under her balcony when she looks down and straight at me. I can smell arousal competing with fear and it’s a heady combination that makes my blood burn. Feeling bold I let my gaze linger on her body and to my delight she lifts her chin in challenge and the sharp scent of her anger hits me. I smirk in response and give her a slight bow from my saddle turning away before I am tempted to dismount, climb up to her balcony and ravish her in front of her brother and chambermaid. When we get to the tower I make inquiries about her from the archivist and am pleased to find out she is the eldest daughter of Lord Cumhail, Chief of Clan Bluegrass. Disappointingly the Lady Siobhan is young and still two years away from being able to accept an official marriage proposal but I can wait.**

**To my surprise I face her brother in single combat the next day. He isn’t a bad swordsman and takes his loss gracefully. After the fight though he makes it clear that he did not appreciate the way I looked at his sister and demands I apologize to her. I am amused enough by the whole thing and respect her brother for confronting me so I agree to his terms. I catch up to Siobhan and her chambermaid later that night to deliver my repentance. When she turns to face me I see she has the most charming collection of freckles decorating her face and I ruthlessly suppress the urge to drag her into a dark corner and find out if she has freckles anywhere else. Her trepidation is still there as on some unconscious level she can sense she’s in the presence of a predator but she stands her ground, her emerald eyes sparking and informs me in no uncertain terms she doubts my sincerity. I smile wolfishly and there’s that seductive arousal again. I give her an elegant bow and head off to my quarters.**

**My self-control is tested again that evening at the dinner to celebrate Lexa Kom Trikru’s ascension to Commander. I keep catching whiffs of Siobhan’s scent and it drives me to distraction. I can see her sitting at the far end of the table with her father and brother. Her father treats her like property but I am heartened to see she doesn’t cower from him. Her spirit and beauty leave me aching and I go to bed that night consumed with visions of her beneath me, hair spread out over the furs of my bed, the both of us limned in sweat and subsumed by pleasure.**

 

_I was happy to put Roan out of my mind for the rest of the week-long celebration and just enjoy a little freedom from my father’s shadow until Igrainne came to my chambers with news that put a damper on things._

_“Your brother has entered the games. He’s put his name on the challenge board for Prince Roan.”_

_I promptly picked up my skirts and barged into his quarters only to find him being suited up by Aiden of all people._

_“Conall what in the name of the ancestors do you think you’re doing?”_

_“I’m defending your honor Siobhan, a man should not look at an unmarried woman like that.”_

_I shot Aiden a look of betrayal._

_“Why didn’t you talk him out of this Aiden?”_

_“Siobhan you know your brother, his streak of willfulness is as bad as yours. And it’s not like he’ll be in any real danger.”_

_“Conall I wish you would just let it go.”_

_“I will not, besides I wanna see if this Prince Roan is as skilled as his reputation would have him be.”_

_The need to erase this stain on my honor and a certainty that Roan’s reputation had to be exaggerated pretty much meant Conall would not be swayed from his decision. I threw up my hands._

_“Fine, Igrainne and I will be in the stands.”_

_Turns out everyone wanted to measure themselves against the prince of the Ice Nation. Igrainne and I had a pretty good view from where we were sitting with my father and Ronan. After several fights it was clear Roan’s reputation was no exaggeration. He moved like his blade was an extension of his arm. Every step was graceful and precise, anticipating his opponent’s moves almost before they made them. Unlike some of the other participants he never taunted his opponents, never said a word in fact. He was completely focused, face devoid of any expression._

_My brother’s bout with him towards the end of the day was about what I expected. Not that my brother was a lousy swordsman, far from it but Roan had reach and at least fifty pounds of weight on Conall. Not to mention he had a few years more practice under his belt and a clear talent for swordplay. Conall yielded the fight and to my dismay must have said something to Roan because the prince approached me later on that evening as we were headed back to the villa. He had cleaned the chalk and coal off of his face but he was still intimidating and I was close enough to see hints of the traditional scars on his face._

_“Lady Siobhan, your brother tells me I have acted inappropriately and for that I apologize.”_

_Of course my mouth overrides my good sense._

_“Really cause the look on your face says you’re not sorry one bit.”_

_Roan tilts his head and there is that odd glint in his eyes again. A smirk widens into a full blown grin before he sketches an elegant bow and continues on to his quarters._

_The rest of the week was more fights and various displays of skill. My favorite was a demonstration of horsemanship from my own clan that showed off the horse’s extensive training in protecting its rider and getting them to safety. I watched with pride as the horse knelt down to allow its “injured” rider to mount and then lash out with hooves and teeth to protect the same rider from attempts to pull them out of the saddle. I spent an enjoyable day walking Polis’s market with Igrainne and found a stuffed bear I thought Niamh would love as well as something for Catriona who chose to stay behind with my sister who had taken ill with a summer cold. On the final night of the Conclave all the clan chiefs officially swore fealty to the Commander and a feast to celebrate its successful conclusion followed. I kept sneaking glances down towards the end of the table where Roan was sitting with his second. I couldn’t help myself, he pissed me off, terrified me and to my everlasting embarrassment aroused me beyond measure. The next day we departed for home and if he made an appearance in my dreams every so often, no one was the wiser._


	3. Heartfelt confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conall confronts his father and has a heart to heart with Siobhan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter but the way words flowed it made sense to break it off where I did.

My head snaps up when I hear Conall set his wine glass down rather hard and stand up.

“Father you can’t be serious, they are savages!”

“The decision has been made, I will not hear another word on it.”

Catriona puts her hand on Conall’s elbow. “My love please, it is done.”

“Listen to your wife boy.”

But my brother who has always felt responsible for me since the day I was born refuses to be placated.

“What could they have promised you that you would throw your daughter to the wolves?”

“We will discuss this after dinner Conall.”

My sister speaks up. “Why not send me instead, I’m not afraid of them.”

I saw right through her bravado. She is as terrified of the barbarians of the North as I am but her fear of them is outweighed by her need to get out from under father’s thumb.

As foolish as I think Fiona is I risk father’s wrath to support her.

“Why CAN’T we send Fiona, I want nothing to do with this!”

”The request was made for YOU Siobhan. Now if you will not let me eat in peace then you are dismissed.”

Conall pushes his chair back, sketches a disdainful bow to father and leaves the room with his food untouched. Catriona excuses herself to go after him and Fiona stalks off leaving me alone with father and his advisors.

“Are you staying?”

He wasn’t even looking at me.

I couldn’t deal with the uncomfortable silence just then and I had lost my appetite so I quietly left, leaving the torc abandoned on the table.

I immediately sought out Igrainne and found her in the kitchens with Aiden and the staff. I could tell by their faces they had heard every word.

Of course they had, they were the world’s nosiest individuals. I halfheartedly tease Lanie about her ear being permanently stained brown from the all the wood oil that rubs off when she sticks it against the door and drop down into a chair by the hearth.

Igrainne hands me a meat pie and some tea and sits down next to me.

Aiden breaks the silence.

“I’m telling you now you will get no bowing and scraping from me.”

“It’s not funny, these are the people everyone’s parents threaten will come kidnap them if they misbehave!”

Lanie pipes up.

“She’s right, I remember my nan telling me the wolves of the North would sneak into my room in the dead of night and take me away to their caves if I didn’t stop slipping the dog my vegetables under the table.”

Igrainne points a stern finger at me.

“Now you listen to me Siobhan. The spirit of Sowkali and the Gogv lives in you. The fierce heart and the keen mind. Men may rule this place today but you remember that once they knelt to our daughters.”

She takes my face between her gentle hands.

“Stiyu Uwetsiageyv, tsinusdvgi tsinusdesdi.”

I accept the old Cherokee blessing with tears in my eyes. I understand she means that all things change in their time, nothing is forever. What is painful must eventually pass. I can’t help but think though that I want to make change, not wait for it. Roan is good looking and somewhat charming but beauty on the outside can hide rot on the inside, I’ve seen proof of that. Men of father’s court who are gregarious and kind to their wives in public and then later those same wives come to the healer with black eyes and split lips.

Azgedan culture scares me, they ritually scar themselves, revel in conflict. Sure he looked at me like he found me attractive at the Conclave but are they capable of anything beyond that? Everything I’ve ever heard said they have loyalty to their clan against those outside it but amongst themselves it was kill or be killed. Their line of succession is soaked in blood and for them weakness is death. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a part of that but I was sure I wanted to be in control of my own destiny and not a pawn in someone else’s.

Aiden leans over and ruffles my hair.

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know, part of me wants to tell father to go to hell”

Igrainne snorts. “That would go over well.”

“Hey he got one marginally obedient daughter he should consider himself lucky.”

We’re interrupted by the servants bringing in the dishes and I can hear the advisors taking their leave. I get up from the chair with a sigh, father will be heading to his study to undoubtedly discuss this with Conall.

Laine gives me a hug. “Where are you off to?”

“To spy on my brother of course.”

She laughs. “And you make fun of me for being a busybody.”

I smile. “Where do you think I get it from?”

I slip out into the hallway dodging advisors and servants and make it to the library without being noticed. Us kids discovered pretty early on the old vent system in the house let us listen in on conversations in the next room over. Of course the downside was Igrainne could always hear us giggling and carrying on late at night when we were supposed to be sleeping. It always fascinated me to think that these vents once carried heat and cool air all throughout the house no matter what time of year it was. I couldn’t imagine that kind of luxury.

I settle in on the floor behind the old couch and hear Conall knocking on the door.

“Enter.”

“Father we need to talk about this.”

“There is nothing to discuss Conall.”

“Can I at least ask why?”

“It’s simple. Sons are for carrying on our legacy, daughters are to be parceled out in the most advantageous way possible. Trikru and Azgeda hold the largest territories and they are our biggest patrons. They’ve been flirting with outright war for a while, being tied to both through the bonds of marriage lets us keep our neutrality.”

“We haven’t had an issue with that for decades, everyone respects our choice to stay out of clan conflicts!”

“I saw an opportunity to further secure that Conall. Both will come to our defense if the other attempts to press the matter so balance is maintained. When Niamh is old enough to be considered for marriage you will understand. ”

“So you’re giving Fiona to Trikru?”

“Yes, their clan chief Indra has a son.”

“Trikru is led by a woman.”

“Yes well they will be led by a man when her son is of age. Sometimes you have to make your bed with those whose values you disagree with for the greater good. Now if you’ll excuse me I have paperwork to attend to.”

I shouldn’t have been that surprised to find father assigns as much value to Fiona and I as is of benefit to him but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

Conall walks out and I meet up with him in the hallway.

“I suppose you heard everything?”

“Yeah.”

Conall wraps his arms around me and tucks my head under his chin.

“I’m so sorry Siobhan, I don’t know what to do.”

“Short of father dying or taking complete leave of his senses and stepping down, there’s nothing that can be done.”

“Well, when I am chief things will be different.”

“Conall you can’t champion equality and still expect women to behave a certain way. You still think it’s inappropriate for me to be learning to fight with a sword.”

“Well it is.”

“Why?”

“Because you are a lady!”

“Conall the whole point of treating the genders the same is that you don’t put expectations like that on behavior. You’re far more liberal than father but you still have certain ideas about a woman’s place.”

“I never told on you when you did all that stuff when we were younger.”

“You’re right but can you honestly tell me you’d make the same choice if it were anyone other than me or Fiona?”

Conall’s silence said more than a whole speech would have.

“It’s all or nothing Conall. What you are willing to accept with me has to count for all women. In Trikru women have as much authority as men and their fathers have no say in who they marry. There are no limitations on them just because they are physically different. I am proud to be a daughter of the plains make no mistake but if I had been born into Trikru there would be no question about me learning to fight and I would be free to refuse this marriage proposal.”

“Father is hoping to marry Fiona off to Indra’s son.”

“Well I’m sure he has the option to refuse unlike her. I have faith though that if anyone can bring freedom to the women of our clan you will. Just try not to look so horrified when you walk in on me and Aiden wrestling in the ring.” I tease.

I make my way upstairs to my chambers confident that I’ve given my brother something to think about. When I walk in I’m greeted by a sight that reminds me why I’m so agitated. One of the servants has brought up the torc and left it sitting on my bed. I am tempted to fling it out the window but instead I change into riding leathers and head out to the stables.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The word Sowkali pronounced (Soh-kwah-li with the I spoken like eh) means horse  
> The word Gogv pronounced (goh-gun) means crow  
> Kentucky has a lot of Irish Cherokee blood which is what inspired this.  
> “Stiyu Uwetsiageyv, tsinusdvgi tsinusdesdi.”  
> I made this Cherokee blessing up using actual Cherokee words.  
> Stiyu pronounced (stee-you) means "Be strong"  
> Uwetsiageyv pronounced (ou-way-chee-ah-gay-yun) means "daughter"  
> Tsinusdvgi pronounced (chee-nuhs-dun-gee) means as it was  
> Tsinusdesdi pronounced (chee-nuhs-days-dee) means as it will be  
> I intended it to mean "What was will be again"


	4. UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, Roan is upset that he doesn't get to tell his side of the story so he bugged me until I told him I would add his perspective in key scenes. Fortunately for him I got inspired. His POV will be in bold and the first scene is written back in chapter 2 during the flashback. The second scene is in chapter 4.  
> Oh and I am still working on Chapter 5, it just keeps growing lol.

Yes I am still working on this story. I promise.


	5. Strange Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the torc feeling like a cage Siobhan takes Luna out for a ride on the plains to drown out the turmoil and has a strange encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: I added Roan's perspective during their first encounter in bold.  
> I made up the story about the Cherokee girl.

As soon as I walk in the comforting smell of hay and horse washes over me and I start to lose the tension in my shoulders. This place with its worn brass and weathered wood has always been my sanctuary. I walk down the aisle and run my fingers over the lip of the stalls, greeting each horse by name. Letting myself settle into a familiar routine I check on Blackbeard. He’s getting on in years and his joints are starting to bother him. I treat him to some dried apple and while he’s munching take a closer look at the swelling in his knees.

“Here.”

I turn around and see Gareth standing there holding out the tin of salve.

“He’s not looking so good Siobhan, I’m afraid sooner rather than later it’ll be time to put him down.”

I take the salve and start to spread it over the swelling. The smell makes my eyes water but it dulls the ache in old bones and lets Blackbeard sleep at night.

“I know.”

“I heard about the proposal, congrats.”

I snort and roll my eyes.

“From what I hear they treat their horses well, should count for something.”

“Mmmmm.”

“You gonna ride?”

“Yeah I need some time alone.”

“You finish up with Blackbeard I’ll go saddle up Luna.”

“Thanks.”

Gareth’s father has been stable master since before I was born and only last year did he decide to retire and let his son take over. If I had had the choice I could’ve easily fallen for Gareth. We grew up together and when I wasn’t terrorizing the staff with Fiona and Conall I was here in the stables learning about the horses alongside him. From the minute we could walk we were dodging horse’s hooves and climbing into the stalls. My mother always worried I would wind up getting stepped on but I was never afraid. More than once she would come looking for me thinking I’d gotten lost and find me in one of the stalls, splayed out on a warm broad back and sleeping soundly.

Conall and my sister are consummate riders of course, in our family you can’t be anything less but they never took to horses the way I did. Igrainne used to say I was the reincarnation of an old Cherokee legend and told me the story of the Cherokee girl who had been cut down by a white man’s rifle trying to save her people.

_“And her true love despaired and begged the Great Spirit to save his beautiful wife for he could not stand the heartbreak of losing her. The Great Spirit told him because she had given her life for others it would save her but she would not be as she once was. Her husband was confused but accepted the Great Spirits gift and that night fell asleep at her side waiting for her to recover. When he woke up he saw that she was gone for no breath passed her lips. He ran outside and raged at the Great Spirit asking why it betrayed him. The Great Spirit said I did save your love but one can only move forward, never back that is the way of nature. Go to the field where the river flows and you will see. Her husband mounted his horse and immediately rode out to the field the Great Spirit spoke of. It took him a moment to understand but when he did tears ran down his face and he thanked Great Spirit for gifting her with this freedom._

_As he looked out at the wild palomino running with such joyfulness his heart swelled with gratitude and love. Before departing the Great Spirit made a promise. Your wife has followed the White Way with diligence and so she will have peace till the day the heart of the palomino gives its last beat. On that day and forevermore she shall be a champion of the people and when she is needed she will return again and again to this world. This is my geas and my gift._

_The next morning and for every morning after the husband went to the field to greet the palomino until decades later when he passed peacefully in his sleep. The day he was returned to the earth the palomino laid down beside his grave and did not rise again. For eons after whenever there was a need the Cherokee girl would return to defend her people.”_

I loved hearing Igrainne’s stories growing up but I doubted I was this great champion of the people. I certainly didn’t look the part standing in horse manure with Blackbeard trying to eat my hair.

I finish up getting Blackbeard settled in for the night and come out to see Gareth waiting with Luna.

“There’s my pretty girl.”

Luna enthusiastically head butts me square in the chest. She’s ready for a good run and so am I. It’s my favorite time to go out. The heat of the day has burned off, the sun is just starting to set and the sky is all dressed up in orange and pink. I mount up and head out of the yard eager to get some solitude.

As soon as I get past the outer fence I let Luna have her head and we streak past the farms and out onto the plain. I’m stretched out low over her back, one hand on the reins and the other twisted in her mane. All I can hear is the thundering of her hooves on the hard packed ground and the heavy exhales from her nostrils. She has been with me since I helped bring her into this world wet and wobbly and she instinctively knows what I need because it’s the same fire that drives her to almost fly over the grasses. I get a burst of rich scent every time one of her hooves tears up a clod of dark earth and I fill my lungs with it. This feeling is something I will never tire of. I’m not worried about my impending nuptials, I’m not thinking about how angry I am with father, it’s just me breathing in time with Luna.

Eventually it gets too dark to continue at this breakneck speed and I slow Luna down. I lean back in the saddle and watch the stars winking into existence as we amble towards home. We’ve been out a while and I know she’s gotta be thirsty so we stop at Kennedy Creek to get water. We’re in the heart of Bluegrass land but I’m not taking chances so I grab the dagger I strapped to my saddle before leaving when I get my canteen.

It’s as I’m standing by the shallow water taking a drink that my hair stands on end and I can feel I’m being watched. Luna senses it too and walks over to stand at my back. She might not have been trained for battle but she was still trained to protect her rider and I am comforted by the solid wall of muscle behind me. I scan the area but have trouble seeing anything in the gloom. I don’t really want to have to turn my back to mount up but I have no choice. I have to depend on Luna to watch what’s behind me in that split second I’m vulnerable. I don’t want to put down the dagger either so I delicately put it between my teeth and hear Aiden in my head telling me how unbelievably unsafe that is.

It’s as I’m putting my foot in the stirrup that I see the wolf. It comes out of the shadows as silent as breath. Black as night and not a spot of any other color on it. I must be a bit hysterical because I’m thinking there can’t be wolves this far south. After Praimfaya the packs all moved north where there was still prey and plenty of coniferous forest. I slowly lower my foot out of the stirrup and bid Luna to stay still, I don’t know a whole lot about wolves but I imagine sudden moves would be bad. The wolf comes closer and it’s a lot bigger than it should be. I take the dagger out of my mouth and get a good grip on it. I don’t want it to get so close I have to stab it but on the other hand if I throw it I may miss and then I’m screwed.

I laugh nervously. “Did you get irradiated or something?”

It continues its leisurely pace towards me.

“Don’t make me throw this.”

At that the wolf stops and cocks its head as if it’s saying “really?”

I am trying not to panic because I know that will kill me quicker than anything and I’m gauging the distance to Luna to see if I have enough time to mount up and get the hell out after I throw the dagger. I take a step back and that’s when I find the damn gopher hole. My foot drops, I try and recover and wind up on my back with a twisted ankle.

Now I am injured and on the ground but surprisingly the wolf doesn’t attack but it does try and get closer.

“Hey back off!”

It actually listens which is weird because last I checked wolves didn’t know English.

I plant the dagger in the grass and reach down to try and yank my foot out of the hole. It takes a few tries because it’s stuck. When I finally do get it loose my shoe comes off and winds up in the creek. That prompts a whole string of nasty words that according to Conall should not be in a lady’s repertoire. The wolf actually jerks its head back and makes this weird coughing noise that sounds suspiciously like laughter. I give it the middle finger.

Clearly the wolf is not going to attack so I limp over to get my boot and then sit down to check the damage. I’m gently prodding the skin with my fingers and flexing to see if it’s broken when a furry muzzle comes into view, I almost jump out of my skin. Then I watch with fascination as this deadly apex predator sniffs at my ankle and then proceeds to lick it.

When Aiden hears about this he’s going to ask if I got a hold of the wrong mushrooms or hit my head.

I am freaking out right about now, its canines have got to be almost six inches in length and they are right next to my skin. I’m thinking I going to wind up with a peg leg like the pirates in the old tales when it completes its tongue bath and sits back and stares at me. I decide to do something rather rash because it’s me and I tentatively stretch out my hand to sink my fingers into its ruff. It’s amazingly thick and soft. It scoots closer and suddenly I have a lap full of very heavy wolf.

“Ugh get off you’re crushing me you big oaf!”

I hear more of that coughing noise and get a wet nose in my ear.

“Gross really?”

It lifts its head and looks at me. I see what looks an awful lot like humor dancing in those blue eyes and no small amount of intelligence. Of course that makes no sense, it’s a WOLF.

“Ok playtime is over, I have to get my lame ass home.”

I give it a hug and it backs off so I can sit up. Luckily my ankle isn’t broken so there’s not so much swelling that I can’t put my boot back on. I get back on my feet and head over to Luna who has been patiently waiting where I left her. I look back at the wolf to say goodbye and I could swear I saw frustration and longing in its eyes.

**Her scent has been teasing my nose all day. When I left Stronghold on my dòmr ferð I had every intention of avoiding Bluegrass, I didn’t need the temptation. My request for her hand was likely already on her father’s desk and a brief discussion at the Conclave had shown him amenable to the match so there was nothing to do but wait.**

**Easier said than done.**

**Much to my annoyance I wind up on her father’s lands anyway. Now everywhere I go I’m bombarded with her unique aroma and it’s making me crazy. Passing so close to civilization I have to shift into my fur but unfortunately that means I can smell everything that much stronger. The laws of dòmr ferð are clear though, I can’t reveal my identity to anyone and that means traveling as the wolf.**

**The rational part of me knows if I head back north into the wilderness I can slip my fur and make things simpler for myself but knowing she’s so close I give into the instincts that are propelling me towards her. Following her scent I track her to a good sized creek about five miles from her home. She’s standing on the bank sipping from her canteen while her horse drinks its fill. I stand there and just watch from the safety of the trees. In the two years since I last saw her, her youthful roundness has given way to lush curves of maturity. Her freckles are abundant most likely due to a summer out in the sun. She has on soft riding leathers that cling to her lean legs, a loose white tunic and worn riding boots liberally splattered with mud, her hair carelessly knotted into a messy braid. I can smell the symphony of fragrances on her, the musky smell of horse and dog, the acrid tang of sweat, sweet honey and oat and the sharp burn of an herbal slave. It all blends together with her own and I find myself coming out of hiding before my mind catches up with what I’m doing. By then it’s too late, she’s seen me.**

**She slides her foot out of the stirrup and whispers to her horse to be still. Her scent has turned sharp with fear and I can see she’s trembling. She doesn’t run though, instead she draws her dagger and grips it in her hand laughing nervously.**

**“Did you get irradiated or something?”**

**I’m sure I’ll yell at myself later for approaching her but right now I have an overwhelming urge to touch her. I don’t want to startle her so I move excruciatingly slow. I’m not concerned about the dagger, not because I don’t think she can use it, it just takes a lot more than a dagger to hurt me in wolf form. She gets this adorable look of determination on her face and points the dagger at me.**

**“Don’t make me throw this.”**

**I stop and cock my head. I can see she is fighting back panic and I’m impressed with her self-control. Most people would have run screaming by now and gotten themselves killed. She takes a step back and the next thing I know she’s on her back with her ankle stuck in a gopher hole. I barely suppress the instinct to rush over to her, she’d probably think I was attacking and instead pick my way over carefully.**

**She barks at me.**

**“Hey back off.”**

**I immediately stop. I watch as she tries to get her foot out of the hole. It’s stuck pretty good and when it comes loose her boot winds up dumping in the creek and she lets loose with a truly spectacular string of curses. I can already smell her ankle isn’t broken so I don’t feel bad when I laugh at her predicament. She gives me the finger and goes to sit down and check the damage. I come closer thinking about the ridiculousness of trying to make a four hundred and fifty pound wolf appear harmless. Echo would be laughing at me if she could see this. I manage to get within reach of her without getting stabbed and consider it progress. She startles when I lean down and sniff at her ankle but doesn’t move her foot away. I am impelled to do something to help my mate so I gently start to lick her ankle. Her taste explodes on my tongue and I close my eyes in bliss. I chase it until there’s nothing left but my own saliva and sit back. To my surprise she reaches out and buries her hand in my ruff, it feels so good to have her touch me even in this form I find myself crawling into her lap to get closer.**

**“Ugh get off you’re crushing me you big oaf!”**

**I laugh and playfully stick my nose in her ear.**

**“Gross really?”**

**I lift my head and look into her eyes. I wish to the ancestors I didn’t have to wait to be with her but I have to complete dòmr ferð before I can bond with my beautiful mate.**

**“Ok playtime is over, I have to get my lame ass home.”**

**Reluctantly I back off of her and watch her mount her horse to head for home. She looks back at me before taking off and for a moment I think she can read everything I can’t say.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dòmr ferð - dòmr is Norse for judgement. ferð is Norse for journey.   
> I meant it to roughly translate Journey of Judgement.   
> You will learn more about this rite in later chapters. As always Roans POV is in bold.


	6. Reconcilliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan and Fiona have a heart to heart and welcome a new foal into the family.

  
I get back to the stables just in time to see the horses put away for the night. Gareth immediately zeroes in on my limp.

“What happened?”

“Ugh, I stepped in a gopher hole.”

“Sit down, I’ll go get the salve, Darby go put Luna up.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“You’re gonna need it, Destiny is looking like she’s ready to drop her foal tomorrow you’ll be on your feet.”

I drop to sit on a hay bale.

“Something odd happened while I was out.”

“What do you mean by odd?”

Gareth takes my boot off and starts to apply the salve.

“There aren’t any wolves this far south are there?”

“Not that I’m aware of why?”

“I sort of ran into one when I stopped to water Luna over at Kennedy Creek.”

Gareth panics and starts looking for a gaping hole in my body somewhere.

“Gareth I’m fine it didn’t hurt me.”

“Are you sure it was a wolf then?”

“Positive.”

“Well I’d say you got into the wild mushrooms but I know for a fact Marlene ripped them all out after Peter ate one and went streaking through the east pasture.”

“Oh believe me I questioned whether Peter might have snuck some into my breakfast but no, this was definitely a wolf and not a normal one either.”

“How so?”

“Well for one it was about waist high at the shoulder.”

Gareth stops wrapping my foot and looks up in shock.

“That’s big.”

“It came out of nowhere and starts walking toward me and I’m trying not to panic. I’m waving my dagger at it and I figure I can throw it and then make a run for Luna but I stepped in the damn gopher hole. So now I’m on my ass and can’t get my foot out and it’s just sitting there in grass staring at me.”

“It just sat there?”

‘Yeah.”

“And did nothing?”

“YES!”

By now my foot has been forgotten in favor of my oh so riveting story. I’m beginning to feel like an idiot because the more distant it gets the more it feels like I imagined the whole thing.

“Anyway, it doesn’t look like it’s going to do anything so I yank my foot out of the hole and lose my boot in the creek. I’m cursing a blue streak and I swear the thing is laughing at me.”

“Laughing at you?”

“It was making this coughing noise that sounded like laughing to me.”

Gareth remembers my abandoned foot and finishes wrapping it.

“Go on.”

“So I’m checking to make sure I didn’t break anything when the thing comes over and starts sniffing my foot and then licks it!”

“A wolf licked your foot?”

“I’m aware of how crazy it sounds.”

Gareth tucks my foot back in my boot and washes up.

“Please continue.”

“I kind of petted it.”

“Siobhan!”

“What I was curious and if it wanted to eat me it would have already I mean come on I was injured.”

“You have a point.”

“So then it crawled into my lap and stuck its nose in my ear.”

“That sounds like something Baloo would do, so what happened next?”

“I said I had to get home and it got off of me.”

I left out what I thought I saw in its eyes before I mounted up and headed out, Gareth would’ve wanted to have my head checked.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Well let’s hope it doesn’t follow you home, or its pelt is gonna wind up on the floor in front of your father’s fireplace.”

I sincerely hope that never comes to pass, something that beautiful deserves to live free.

I head into the house and up to my chambers. Igrainne has laid out a sleeping gown for me and Baloo is stretched out on my bed hogging all the space as usual. I reach out to scratch the old bird dog behind the ears and he immediately sits up and starts to sniff my hand. He must have picked up the scent of the wolf. I expect him to get territorial like he does with all the animals except the horses but instead, he rubs his muzzle against my hand and lays back down with a sigh. I chalk it up to one of those weird dog things and snort when I see him laying on top of the torc. He must have the same opinion on my impending nuptials as I do. I tug it out from under him and set it on my night stand. Looking at it I have to admit it’s stunning. Catriona would tell me it’s a sign of Roan’s regard, a part of me thinks that would be sweet but I’m not holding my breath. I drop my shirt on it so I don’t have to look at it and go wash up before changing and slipping under the covers. My dreams that night prominently feature a black wolf with eyes like the ocean.

The next day I barely have time to get breakfast before Gareth comes to get me. Destiny is having her baby. I’ve helped foal countless horses and the feeling of bringing life into the world never gets old. If I wasn’t my father’s daughter I’d probably be a stable hand. Most of the women of my station in my father’s court prefer to spend their time sewing, strolling the grounds and caring for their kids. Not for me is that past time. Give me the board in the door of Kennedy’s stall that’s loose because he keeps kicking it, the oat and honey treats that are supposed to be for the horses except John keeps eating them, the dust lingering in the hot sun and the jingle of horse tack. Father would prefer I spend my time in other pursuits but short of locking me up he doesn’t have much choice. I guess he figures it’ll be my husband’s responsibility to control me. Like that’ll ever happen.

I pass Conall on the way to the stables and he’s getting ready to head out with an escort of two household guards.

“Where are you off to?”

“We’ve had word there’s been some theft of supplies and poaching in the forest.”

“You’re gonna miss the birth!”

“Yeah well save me some of Hamish’s moonshine would you?”

“If Willhem doesn’t drink it all.”

I give Conall’s foot a squeeze and watch them head out.

Walking into the stables I see Gareth and his father already have Destiny in the foaling stall. I slip in to greet her.

“Hey sweetheart, you ready for your baby?”

She’s a little agitated, it’s her first foal. I send John to go get more hay and Darby to go clear out the training paddock. Destiny won’t have her foal for a while yet and she’ll need to be walked. Gareth’s father Michael speaks up.

“Gareth told me about your wolf encounter.”

I click my tongue.

“Thanks Gareth.”

“What?”

Michael ruffles my hair.

“I’m just glad you weren’t hurt Siobhan.”

Should’ve known Michael wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

John comes back with more hay and we spread it out in the stall in a nice thick layer. Marlene comes in with water and some soft cloth’s to help keep Destiny cooled down. Meantime I take mama out to the paddock, she’s still carrying kinda of high so I’m guessing it’ll be at least four hours before she’s ready to start pushing.

Thank the ancestors there’s a good breeze and some cloud cover or this would be a lot more uncomfortable. I’m casually holding onto Destiny’s reins, walking her in circles and letting my mind drift. I’m excited for this birth, it’s one I have seen to from start to finish. When Destiny was ready to be bred it was Gareth and I who looked over the bloodlines and matched her to Man O’ War. With a lineage like this one we’re anticipating one hell of warhorse once it’s trained, I’m looking forward to watching it begin. Fiona has another two years before she can be courted for marriage, this foal will be ready by then and make an excellent wedding gift for her groom.

Speaking of my sister I see her coming out with Baloo trotting at her side. She’s never been as enthusiastic as I am about the horses but it’s in her blood and she’s been present for just about every birth. I look at her out of the corner of my eye expecting harsh words but she just falls into step next to me.

“Father says I am to marry into Trikru.”

“That’s his plan.”

“Good then I won’t have to see him anymore.”

The silence drags out.

“Are you scared to go north?”

I sigh.

“I’m more angry than scared but yeah, I’m a little nervous. I don’t know anything about Roan or his people other than the stories I’ve heard. He has a second who’s a woman but I didn’t see any others at the Conclave. I don’t even get the chance to get to know him and on my wedding night I’m supposed to just spread my legs and think of a happy place?”

“Siobhan!”

“Yeah well, noble women around here gossip you know and they talk about it. It’s sweaty, brief, painful and nothing to celebrate.”

“Great.”

I bite my lip.

“Sorry.”

“What about all that stuff Igrainne and Lanie told you about it?”

“I learned how to please my future husband that was it. Sure it was amusing but where are the instructions on how to please me? Besides, they already know the person they’re marrying. We’re noble we don’t get to choose like they do.”

Fiona sighs.

“Hey, I’m sure it’ll work out with Indra’s son. Holden will be patient and gentle and it’ll be a good memory.”

“What about you?”

“Me? I’ll be lucky to get a bed.”

Fiona rolls her eyes.

“It won’t be that bad Siobhan.”

“No but I don’t think there’s room for much sentiment in their culture.”

The moment of peace between us is nice and I don’t wanna lose it so I make an attempt to repair the rift.

“Look I’m sorry about father. I don’t know why he ignores me and rides herd on you.”

Fiona looks off into the distance.

“It’s because you look like mother.”

“What?”

“He ignores you because you look like mother. He resents being forced to marry her. There was another woman he wanted but grandfather struck a marriage deal with Ouskejonkru.”

“How the hell do you know this?”

“Father got drunk one night, you were out at the stables with a sick horse. He spilled it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was jealous, I wanted the freedom you had!”

“So you’re saying I remind him of the woman he got stuck with?”

“Apparently father was all ready to run off with this other woman and grandfather told him to end it. A year later Father was there the night the messenger came with a marriage request for her. Grandfather forced him to give the match his blessing, said it was a good lesson to learn.”

“Did he love this other woman?”

“Apparently, he showed me this old necklace he keeps locked in his desk that belonged to her. She wound up dying in childbirth along with her child.”

No wonder he was cruel to my mother. He couldn’t do anything to grandfather so he took it out on her. Couldn’t break it off without risking war with Blue Cliff. Father hated being trapped in a marriage he didn’t want but now condemned me to the very same thing. Oh the irony.

I had the urge to go let father have it but Destiny needed me so I set aside my anger for the moment and looked her in the eye.

“Fiona I only ever wanted you to be happy, I’ve missed us being friends.”

“I’m sorry too, I just was so mad. Father never seemed to give a crap what you did, you got to learn swordplay and run around with Gareth, I got stupid sewing lessons.”

“Yeah I have to admit I’m glad I didn’t get stuck with that, it would have been a disaster.”

“Even when I found out why father was acting the way he did I still resented you. I would have been happy to take father’s dislike if it had meant I could do what I wanted.”

“Yeah I don’t care that father doesn’t like me but I do care that he’s using us both.”

“I was mad too that you got mother’s looks.”

My jaw dropped.

“Why, you look like Pocahontas! Cheekbones and a permanent tan just like father! I would kill for your hair! I got this rust red mess looks like I lost a fight with a bramble bush! And freckles EVERYWHERE!”

“You really don’t see it do you Siobhan?”

“See what?”

“That the eyes of all the men follow you. Willhem is always going on about how your eyes are emerald pools, your hair a river of fire, your skin the color fresh cream.”

She puts a hand over her heart and strikes a ridiculous pose.

I snort and startle Destiny.

“I adore Willhem but he’s an idiot……who is clearly delusional and Hamish needs to stop giving him alcohol.”

“Well it’s true.”

I change the subject cause I’m getting uncomfortable talking about this and I tell her about the wolf. She already knew about it of course because no one can keep anything to themselves in this place.

Fiona and I make small talk and three hours later Destiny starts showing signs she’s ready. We get her into the birthing stall and help her to lay down. She takes up most of the room so it’s just Gareth and I in the stall with everyone else by the door. Ten minutes in the contractions start and I methodically go through the motions of sponging her down with cool water and Gareth keeps an eye on her. Unfortunately just after we start to see signs of the foal breaching things go wrong. Destiny is in pain and it’s not the normal birthing kind. She starts to thrash and it takes all of us to hold her down so she doesn’t hurt herself.

Gareth manages to squeeze close enough to see the problem.

“Dammit it’s coming out back feet first.”

I grimace.

“Ok keep an eye on the time Fiona, we have thirty minutes to get the foal out safely.”

Gareth and I switch places so he can help keep mama from pushing and I can try and reposition the foal. It takes around twenty minutes to make any headway, everyone is starting to get concerned but we finally manage to the get foal moved properly and I back away so Destiny can make the final push on her own.

Ten minutes later we have beautiful little chestnut bay. Gareth and I are covered in birthing fluid and pouring sweat but grinning like lunatics. We go open up the rear hatch of the stall so Destiny can go outside with her foal when she’s ready. I can already see Man O’ War on the other side of the fence, sticking his nose through the bars and trying to get a glimpse of his kid.

I laugh and holler at him.

“Give her a minute, she had a rough one.”

We exit the stall to give room for the stables healer to check on mama and baby and go clean up. Fiona heads out to make the announcement about the new addition to the family and the naming ceremony to be held for him tonight. I’m excited, horses are held sacred to the Cherokee and the official naming of a horse is an important ceremony among their traditions. Our land was settled by the Irish-Cherokee and that blood still ran true among the Blue Grass people who survived Praimfaya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise Roan and the smut will come, I just wanted to establish her world and the people in it.


	7. Secrets and Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan confronts her father, receives Thunder's blessing, learns a terrible secret that irrevocably changes her life and gets a visit from her wolf friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up the naming ceremony.

I wasn’t needed till later on so I went up to the house to confront father. I knew I wouldn’t be able to change his mind about my marriage but I was too angry to let it go. Luckily it looked like father just finished a meeting with one of his advisors because I was not in the mood to wait. I push the door open and stride in without knocking. Father looks up, irritation on his face.

“What is it Siobhan?”

“Mother wasn’t your first choice I hear.”

My voice comes out sharp and snide.

Father grits his teeth.

“I don’t wish to get into this Siobhan.”

“You spent your life married to a stranger and hating it and now you’re saddling me with the same crap!” I shout.

“You will do your duty just as I did.”

“Yeah and you took it out on me you hypocrite.”

Father stands up and shoves his chair back so hard it tips over onto the floor. Coming around the desk he stalks towards me, forcing me to step back until I hit the wall. Looming over me he grips my jaw in his hand.

“When Prince Roan comes to retrieve you, you will go with him without complaint. When he takes you to the marriage bed you will lie down and open your legs like a dutiful wife. You will be compliant and you will be grateful I am making you the Princess of a very powerful kingdom.”

He drops his hand and goes to retrieve the chair, sitting back down behind the desk and picking up where he left off with his paperwork as if nothing happened.

I stand there in utter shock. I have fought with father numerous times before but he’s never spoken to me like that. I can feel tears threaten but I refuse to cry in front him so I swiftly leave his office. As soon as I close the door behind me though the tears start to fall. I don’t want to have to deal with questions so I take the back passages to avoid the servants and make a beeline for the abandoned stable. Flooding from last year collapsed part of it and repairs have yet to be started so I know no one will find me there.

Most of the stuff has been cleared out but there’s still a good sized pile of hay in the corner and that’s what I collapse into. I lay there watching the horses graze through a gap in the planks and let the tears drip onto the hay.

An indeterminate time later I wake up groggy from crying myself to sleep and hear voices just outside the south wall. I recognize my father and at least three of his advisors.

“Have you received word from Queen Nia my Lord?”

“Yes Marcus things are in place and ready to go. The warriors she has chosen are desperate to cleanse their dishonor and they’ve agreed to do what is necessary to tip the scales.”

“Will your son be a problem?”

“No, he’s chasing our carefully laid trail.”

“What about your younger daughter?”

“I may have to choose another husband for her if Holden is not cooperative.”

I hear Alden speak up.

“We’ve received word the spies have successfully positioned themselves amongst the clan ambassadors in Polis.”

My father laughs.

“Good, when the people find out about Trikru’s crimes Lexa will have no choice but to condemn her own clan including her lover. When she is shown to be weak it should be easy for the Ice Nation to deal with her. Within six months Ontari will rule as Commander and the other clans will kneel to the combined might of Azgeda and Bluegrass.”

I’m completely frozen, my mind having trouble accepting what I’ve just heard. I knew my father was pragmatic and ruthless but I never imagined the depths of treachery he could sink to. Dread washed over me and I felt like throwing up. Ice Nation was the most powerful clan in the country and Bluegrass while not as big was a colossus in its own right. There was a reason the other clans respected our neutrality and refusal to get involved in clan conflicts. Not only did we breed the finest warhorses anywhere, training them to carry riders into combat made our soldiers some of the finest cavalry as well.

Positioned where they were there was no way I could exit the stable without drawing their attention so I sat and held my breath, waiting for the meeting to end. When they finally left I was shaking so bad I had trouble standing. I was resolved on one thing though, I was not going to marry Roan. If this was the kind of thing his clan practiced I wanted nothing to do with him or it. Fortunately I had time to plan my escape.

I practically run back to my room and only feel safe once the door is closed and locked. I can’t let father know that I know but I have to warn the Commander. I groan when I realize I have to make an appearance at the naming ceremony. I really don’t want to be there at this point but there is nothing for it. I have to act as if everything is fine and go on with my regular routine. After father’s earlier words and hearing him discuss his betrayal so casually I have no doubt if he found out I knew he would lock me up until Roan came to fetch me.

After dragging myself together I head down to the stable and submit to Igrainne’s makeup and costume work. I’m angry that father has ruined what is usually such an enjoyable experience for me. My people worked hard to preserve what little of our culture survived and I was always proud to be part of it but tonight I just felt empty.

Igrainne kisses the top of my head.

“You are finished my dear.”

I see Gareth bringing Destiny and the foal out to the circle and he looks over and gives me a thumbs up. I manage to summon a convincing smile.

I lightly finger the beadwork on the costume and think how much effort was put into recreating it from books recovered from the ruins in Tondc. I’m thankful my great grandfather believed all the great things we accomplished leading up to Praimfaya shouldn’t be lost. That a reminder of who we were was necessary to help us continue to move forward.

Michael signals that it’s time and I head to the circle. The ground feels cool under my bare feet and a light breeze plays with the feathers in my headdress. I can see almost the entire stable crew standing just beyond the bonfire in a loose circle. It never fails to overwhelm me with pride to see so many faces at every naming. The horses aren’t just our bread and butter, they are family.

As soon as I reach my place beside Ione the drums begin. I can’t see the drummers but I can feel their vibration in the dust. I shove my turmoil and anguish to the side and focus on the ceremony. Taking a deep breath I start to sing the ancient melody to Grandfather Thunder, entreating him to bless the new life. Igrainne, Ione, John, Gareth and Fiona join me, our voices blending together and rising into the night sky. The song washes over me and I let my body fall into the rhythm of the dance. My eyes drift shut and I sink into the music.

Halfway through the song I feel the kiss of cold rain drops on my eyelids. I open my eyes and smile, throwing my arms wide open as if to embrace it. Igrainne steps to the center of the circle.

“Grandfather Thunder has granted his blessing to this new life. May it be full and joyful. May his heart be strong and his legs swift. May he serve his rider with honor and in turn his rider cherish and respect his service. His name will be Atul.”

The stable yard fills with the sound of forty voices shouting Atul! Michael comes forth and leads everyone in giving thanks to Thunder for its blessing. When the last word fades out he makes the sweeping gesture with his hands to ritually end the ceremony and just like that the spell is broken and the rain peters off to nothing.

The solemnity gone everyone relaxes and settles around the fire with Hamish’s moonshine. Willhem and some of the other stable boys bring out their instruments and ditties from old Kentucky fill the clearing. Before I can sneak away Gareth grabs my hand and pulls me into a dance. By the time I manage to get away it’s late and I’m a little drunk.

Stumbling towards the house I’m not looking forward to the morning. I was able to forget about things for a moment but tomorrow it’ll all be looming over me again. As I’m passing through the copse of trees that separates the inner stable yard from the main house I see the shadows move and out steps my wolf friend. I laugh and totter over to him, managing to plop myself down at the base of a tree without tripping.

“Hey, you shouldn’t be here you know. They’ll make a rug out of you if they catch you.” I slur.

The wolf snorts as if to say “They’re welcome to try.”

I throw my arms around his neck and just lean on him, breathing in his musky scent. It’s comforting and strangely it feels like home.

“I wish you could talk.”

I hiccup and sigh.

“I could really use some advice right now.”

The wolf nuzzles my cheek.

“I overheard something I wasn’t supposed to and now I have this terrible secret. There’s a person who needs to know it but if tell them I’m scared of what’s gonna happen.”

The wolf whines and puts his enormous paw on my thigh.

“You know if I didn’t know any better I’d think you understand every word I’m saying.”

He just looks at me.

“Probably picking up on my emotions.”

Just then I hear Igrainne calling my name.

“Ugh, I gotta go.”

I haul myself off the ground and look down at the wolf. It strikes me again how just big he is and how safe I feel in his presence. I shove at his shoulder.

“Go before Igrainne sees you and pitches a fit, I don’t care how big you are you don’t want a Dixie mob after you.”

He just stands there and there’s that look of frustration again, like there’s something he wants to do but can’t. I can hear Igrainne getting closer.

“Go!”

He lets out a huge sigh and backs away from me reluctantly. I turn and head towards the house, the last thing I see is his eyes briefly flashing in the dark and then disappearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so patient, I know you're waiting for the good stuff and trust me it's coming up in the next chapter or two. But love never doth run smooth and anticipation makes the heart go fonder oh wait that's absence. Well it makes something better. Call it revenge from me for all the times I was chewing my nails and waiting for the next chapter in my favorite stories lol.


	8. Out of Roan's Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roan's POV on the events of the day.

Why am I doing this to myself? 

Every minute I’m around her it becomes more tempting to shed the wolf and reveal myself. After seeing her at the creek yesterday I foolishly decide to stay close so I can keep an eye on her. I hunker down in the copse of trees and listen as Gareth looks at her ankle and she tells him about me. I trail her back to the house and watch her silhouette through the gauzy curtains on her bedroom window as she gets ready for bed and my entire body runs flush at the thought of holding her naked body close.

The next day I wake up from a sleep tortured with visions of her to hear Gareth hollering for her. A moment later she comes running out hastily shoving her feet into her boots and throwing her unruly hair into a pony tail. She’s got a piece of bread in her mouth and I can see her navel peeking out through the buttons she missed on her tunic. She must have just rolled out of bed, I can still smell the sleepy warmth of her sheets on her skin. Even disheveled and half asleep she’s beautiful. 

One of her horses is ready to foal and I observe as she takes the mare out and walks her. The bond she has with the horse is a pleasure to witness, she truly has a gift with them. I see her sister approach and the air fills with the scent of anxiety. It’s clear Siobhan’s not certain of her sister’s greeting and her relief is palpable when Fiona simply talks to her. 

I perk up anxious to hear the answer when Fiona asks her about her marriage to me. It’s upsetting to find it’s an unwanted obligation to her but a part of me can understand her reluctance, she knows nothing about my culture except the wildly inaccurate tales and to her I’m a stranger. I am dismayed when she makes it clear she’s expecting our wedding night to be a painful one for her. Again, she’s only going by what she knows though. In her world most women are property and sex is a man’s pleasure. Yet another mark against me is her impression there is little room in Azgedan culture for tenderness or sentimentality. 

I can’t help but chuckle. Echo did warn me that my mate would be the fulfillment of her revenge against the incessant teasing I put her through when we were children. I am not looking forward to her smug satisfaction. What was it Shakespeare once said? “The course of true love never did run smooth.” That sentiment could not have been more appropriate. I have an uphill battle to win her heart and mind it seems.

I am consumed with rage when I find out the truth behind her father’s cruel treatment of her. To be dismissed, to have a parent supremely indifferent to your existence, it was something I was painfully familiar with and it explained her brief bouts of insecurity. But the fact that she refuses to let it burden her and instead lives her life with honesty and hard work makes me proud to have her as my mate.

I wish I could get close enough to see everything when they retreat to the barn for the labor but I can’t. I’m forced to listen with baited breath when there’s complications and relief when the little chestnut bay wobbles outside with his mother.  


When it’s all over she heads up to the house and judging by the fire in her eyes she’s going to confront her father. She comes out fifteen minutes later and she’s fighting tears. I want so badly to go to her but the inner courtyard and stables is suddenly filled with returning soldiers and I have no choice but to retreat to the outer pasture where even my enhanced senses can’t reach.

I sit in a welter of impatience and on edge straining to hear anything when the courtyard finally empties and it’s safe for me to come back. My nose leads me to a stable that’s been abandoned but she’s not there anymore. Left behind is a confusing morass of angry bitter tears, nauseating dread and determination. 

What the hell happened?

I’m near panic when I finally see her come back out and join the gathering by the main stable. She has managed to put up a convincing front and no one notices the turmoil she’s hiding. It’s only when she starts to sing and lose herself in the ceremonial dance that the pain eases up. I’m seriously contemplating breaking the rules of dòmr ferð and risking being recognized in my human form when I feel it. My fur stands on end and the sharp smell of lightning invades my nose. We call him by a different name in the North but I recognize the ancient spirit of Thunder and bow my head in obeisance. He takes little notice of me or as much notice as a millennia old being can and focuses his weighty regard on the dancers. 

In my lifetime I can count on less than one hand the number of times I’ve been in the presence of a spirit on the level of this one and each time its been because of a significant event. One sticks in my mind as being the coming of Praimfaya when the Great Wolf led his people to safety and the other according to the skalds was when the first king of Azgeda ascended to the throne. 

My conceit is pleased my mate has drawn the attention of such a powerful spirit but the rational part of me dreads what it could mean. Incarna of Thunder’s caliber rarely make appearances at ceremonies as minor as this one so I wonder what his motivations are. He doesn’t choose to share them tonight though, not even to Siobhan and I feel him withdraw. The solemnity of the ceremony is broken and I watch smiling as the crew celebrates. Gareth monopolizes Siobhan’s attentions and I would be jealous if I couldn’t smell that he sees in her no more than a close friend. 

When the moonshine is long gone and the fire has died down to embers she stumbles home. I can’t help myself and follow at a short distance to make sure she gets into the house alright. The joy of the celebration has faded and her sorrow has made a reappearance. I can’t find it in myself to let her be alone right now so I come out of the trees and let her see me. 

She laughs and comes over, collapsing at the base of a tree.

“Hey, you shouldn’t be here you know. They’ll make a rug out of you if they catch you.” 

I snort, the idea is ludicrous.

She throws her arms around my neck and leans on me. She breathes in my scent and I’m heartened to notice some of the tension bleeds from her muscles. On a subconscious level at least she recognizes me as her mate. 

“I wish you could talk.”

I curse the strictures of dòmr ferð that forbid me from casting off the wolf and taking her in my arms. 

“I could really use some advice right about now.”

I nuzzle her cheek in an attempt to make her feel better. 

“I overheard something I wasn’t supposed to and now I have this terrible secret. There’s a person who needs to know it but if tell them I’m scared of what’s gonna happen.”

A frisson of fear skates along my spine and I put my paw on her thigh, a whine escaping between my teeth. 

“You know if I didn’t know any better I’d think you understand every word I’m saying.”

I stare into her eyes willing her to tell me what’s going on. She ducks her head and stares at her lap.

“Probably picking up on my emotions.”

I’m trying to catch her gaze again, praying she’ll reveal the secret to me when I hear her chambermaid’s voice calling to her. 

“Ugh, I gotta go.”

She gets up and my opportunity to get her to tell me anything vanishes like smoke. 

“Go before Igrainne sees you and pitches a fit, I don’t care how big you are you don’t want a Dixie mob after you.”

I stand there a minute more frustrated. Confiding in the wolf is easy, she thinks I’m just an animal. As a man and a stranger it’ll be a lot more difficult.

“Go!”

I reluctantly back away, slipping into the bushes and watch Igrainne take her up to the house.


	9. Escalation and Proof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan's father escalates his evil in support of his ambitious plan and Siobhan is forced to leave sooner than expected but with a piece of precious proof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because there isn't much from the show about the Ice Nation culture I am making stuff up.

**Catching glimpses of her through her window that night I realize I can’t maintain balance anymore.**

**Being this close is destroying my hard won equanimity. I’m exhausted from fighting the instincts of my twin soul. I can’t reveal what I am yet or violate dòmr ferð but the longer I linger the more that becomes a risk.**

**With a heavy heart I leave behind Claiborne and head back up towards home.**

Igrainne and I get back to the house and its quiet, everyone else has gone to sleep already. I head upstairs and get ready for bed.

I can hear Baloo snoring in Fiona’s room and it hits me. If I leave, everything I know and love will be left behind. My sister who I just reconciled with, Conall, Igrainne all the stable crew, Lanie’s cinnamon oat muffins, fresh Kentucky plums, the blanket my mother knitted before she died, my beloved horses, my book collection.

If I go through with this I have no idea what the outcome will be. My father may end up losing his life. Am I prepared for that? What if the Commander decides to take action against all of Bluegrass? I know at least three of the advisors are in on it, how many of our soldiers has my father corrupted? I’m certain Conall, Aiden and most of the staff are innocent of course but as for anyone else I’ve no idea. Not to mention how am I going to get in to even see the Commander? She’s heavily guarded and I’m just some girl from Kentucky. It’ll go a long way towards convincing her if I have some idea what my father’s plans are exactly but I only have three months before the winter storms start. It takes the better part of a month to get to Polis from here so I have to be gone within the month. My absence will definitely be noticed by the next morning so I need to cover ground fast and that means taking Luna.

I grab a piece of parchment and charcoal and make a list of everything I need, committing it to memory before lighting a corner off of one of my candles and letting the paper burn in the empty fireplace. Turns out making the plan was easy, trying to sleep afterwards not so much. I wind up tossing and turning the rest of the night.

Lanie comments on the shadows under my eyes when I wander into the kitchen for breakfast the next morning but thankfully she just dismisses it as drinking too much. Considering I’m not actually feeling that well it’s easy to pretend a hangover is the reason for my lack of sleep and not the truth. Unfortunately it means I have to suffer through Lanie’s “cure” which tastes like a batch of Hamish’s shine that’s been left to ferment too long.

I slump down at the table and Lanie puts a plate under my nose.

I get about halfway through when Conall comes in looking grim and exhausted, with his shoulder in a sling.

“What the hell happened?”

I’m already across the room and peeking at his shoulder.

“We caught up to the thieves, they put up a fight. My shoulder got dislocated but Bernal’s little girl is dead.”

Any anger I had at him for not waking me up when he came in dies abruptly and I have to sit down.

My voice comes out brittle and weak.

“Tell me what happened.”

“Well the missing property turned out to be some of Bernal’s old salvage. We were checking the other buildings to see if anything else was missing when we found Elsie.”

”Oh Conall.”

He continues in a monotone as if I hadn’t even spoken.

“As soon as we found her we took off following their tracks, they stole two of his horses on the way out.”

I can hear him struggling to get the words out past the knot in his throat and I grab his hand squeezing it hard.

“We caught up to them over at Miller’s cliff. One escaped over the edge into the river, the other is dead.”

“Anyone else hurt?”

“Except for Aiden taking a glancing slice on the cheek, no.”

“Poor Bernal.”

“They cut her throat Siobhan. She was TEN!”

The knot in his throat breaks and the anguish comes pouring out. I throw my arms around him and share his bitter tears.

I watched Elsie grow up, shared her fascination with her father’s salvage. The telescope he managed to recover from the ruins of the Onian building. The metal box with the lid that flips open and has a tiny wheel inside that occasionally sparks when you roll it. The old tattered shirts with long faded pictures. I could guess what happened last night and it hurt. Elsie would have been in the barn saying good night to the horses like she insisted on doing every night before bed. Her curiosity and guileless trust would have allowed those men to get close to her. All I could do was hope her death was quick and painless.

I take Conall upstairs, get him tucked into bed with a good strong soporific and go seek out Aiden.

He’s in the training room beating the hell out of one of the wooden posts we use for hand to hand training.

“Conall’s in bed.”

Aiden just grunts at me and I catch his hand mid swing.

“WHO DID IT AIDEN?”

He stops and looks down at the floor his teeth clenched.

“Trikru.”

My stomach drops into my feet.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes we checked the tattoos.”

I think back to what I overheard father saying and their attack is too much of a coincidence to ignore.

“Where’s the body?”

Aiden looks up at me confused.

“WHERE IS THE BODY?”

“It’s over behind the south stable why?”

“Come with me.”

I’m praying I’m not right because if I am an innocent little girl was just murdered to feed my father’s ambitions.

We get to the stable just in time to see the body dumped onto a pyre. Father is standing there with Cheannasaí Emmet watching the proceedings and I have a sick feeling he just destroyed the evidence of his treachery.

Aiden leans down and peers at my face.

“Siobhan what’s going on?”

Father looks up and straight at me and I realize I have to shut Aiden up before he says anything else in front of him. I play off my shock and pretend my rush to get over here was motivated by anger. It’s not difficult even if he is Azgeda as I suspect, he’s still a filthy mokskwoma.

“Why are you burning him father he doesn’t deserve it!”

“Because it denies Trikru the chance to give him burial rites, he will go to his afterlife bereft of funerary gifts.”

Its perfect reasoning and a part of me feels vicious satisfaction knowing there will be no one to guide his spirit to the halls of his ancestors. The other part of me is frustrated, without some kind of token I can take to the Commander Elsie’s might not be the only death my father indirectly carries out.

“What are you planning on doing father?”

“I have scouts out looking for his partner and Kaden will be escorting Bernal and the clan tokens we took off of this one to Polis.”

Looks like I was going to have to leave sooner rather than later if I was going to beat Kaden there. I’m thinking how much sooner I’m going to make my escape when Liam comes riding up.

“My Lord, we have reports coming in of multiple attacks on the farms, they are saying its Trikru.”

“Send out the riders. Aiden get her back to the house. Emmet meet me at the stable I want you to lead the Light Horse.”

A savage smile graces my face. The Light Horse Cohort is perfect for this task. The horses are bred to be nimble footed and fast. Adept at weaving in and out of trees and navigating the uneven forest terrain, it won’t be long before the natrona are flushed out like the disgusting twitcha they are.

Aiden walks me back towards the house and I know he’s aware there’s still something going on. I resolve to tell him as soon as I get the chance but right now I have to grab Igrainne and Fiona and get the infirmary ready.

Six hours later my fingers are sore and chapped from stitching, washing, cutting and wrapping. I’m sitting outside on the stoop silent and numb. No casualties amongst our own soldiers but the raiders set a bunch of farms ablaze and we lost eight people to burns and collapsing structures. The fires are under control thankfully and there is nothing more to do at this point. Conall had snuck out soon after the soldiers started rolling into the infirmary and when he showed up with a nasty cut over his brow I yelled at him for being stupid while I patched him up and then squeezed the breath out of him.

I see Aiden walk by and catch his gaze, nodding my head towards the rear of the kitchen. With the crew cooking for everyone in the infirmary it’s noisy enough to prevent anyone from listening in.

“Siobhan what the hell is going on?”

“Those raiders aren’t Trikru.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Before the naming ceremony I got upset with father and hid out in the abandoned stable. He came out with his advisors and I overheard them talking.”

“What did he say that upset you?”

“Not the point of this conversation Aiden.”

“Siobhan.”

“Fine, I called him a hypocrite for being unhappy with his arranged marriage and taking it out on me. He didn’t care, said I would spread my legs like a good wife when Roan came to me in the marriage bed.”

Fury crests over Aiden’s face and is swiftly followed by guilt.

“You knew didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry Siobhan, I did know about the woman your father was forced to give up. It’s part of why I threw myself into teaching you, I thought I could make up for his disinterest in you.”

I reach out and squeeze his hand in gratitude. As much as I want to ask him all about the woman who held my father’s heart and what he was like before he lost her though, I have far more important things to discuss.

I relay the entirety of the overheard conversation to Aiden and watch as his expression turns into horror.

“That’s treason!”

“I know.”

“By the ancestors Siobhan I knew your father was ambitious but this is way beyond anything I could imagine him capable of.”

“Well someone has to stop him and that means getting to the Commander and warning her before Kaden gets there with Bernal.”

“Why do I have a feeling that someone is going to be you?”

“Look, Fiona can’t get out she’s watched too closely. Conall has to stay here because when things start to fall someone has to lead Bluegrass. I’m not sure how many of father’s soldiers are with him so you have to stay and back him. Also my social status gives me a better chance at getting into see the Commander than anyone else.”

Aiden sighs and rubs his hands over his face, wincing when he’s reminded of the cut on his cheek.

“I really hate this idea Siobhan.”

“I know but you know I’m right.”

“You’re going to have to leave within the week. Your father is anxious to frame Trikru, he won’t waste much time getting Kaden underway.”

“Yeah I know.”

“Are you planning on seeing the Commander with nothing but this story?”

“I was hoping I’d find something I could take as proof and maybe get a little more info on his plans.”

Aiden starts pacing back and forth.

“All Trikru have tattoos right?”

“Yes.”

I’m wondering where he’s going with this.

“So if he was using Azgeden’s to carry out his dirty work he’d have to find a way to make them look like Trikru.”

“Well yeah, he’d have to find a way to make a temporary tattoo.”

“He was quick to dump the body on the pyre which means the tattoo wouldn’t stand up to much scrutiny.”

My mind starts racing as I catch up to Aiden’s train of thought.

“The tattoos were covering up the facial scars.”

“So if we can’t use the facial scars what can we use? Is there anything else they use to self-identify?”

I start chewing on my thumbnail, mind scrambling to remember anything and everything I ever learned about the Ice Nation.

After what feels like an eternity I remember Lorne. He was Azgedan by birth but chose to marry a woman from Bluegrass. I was only six when I rode with father on a progress through our lands and met him. I asked him about the iron token he wore around his neck and he had told me it was the symbol of his family and was never taken off. I had a lot more questions for him but I never got the chance to talk with him again, he had passed away the very next year.

“They have birth tokens they carry with them, their family symbol. They’re made of iron so they won’t burn!”

“Wouldn’t the Azgedan’s just take them off then if they want to hide who they are?”

“Not these. They may not wear them around their neck but they’ll have them on their person somewhere. Even cast out as they are they’ll still keep those tokens close. They need to redeem themselves so they can join their family again.”

“Well, assuming your father doesn’t know anything about it then it’s buried in the ash on the pyre.”

I give him a grim smile for a grim task.

“Let’s go see if the gods are smiling on us then Aiden!”

We head to the front of the kitchen and out to the stable yard. Lucky for us the soldiers are busy with other things so there’s no one at the pyre. Aiden keeps an eye out and I start digging through the ash and half burned wood.

I’m studiously avoiding looking at the bones and charred flesh and shaking like a leaf wondering what I’ll say if someone catches us. Every sound makes me freeze and I’m having trouble getting my fingers to cooperate. After an interminable amount of time the gods come through.

Underneath a still smoldering log is the token and I almost collapse in relief. I have to use my dagger to scoop it up since the cord it was strung on has long since burned to nothing and I keep dropping it in my haste. When I finally get it out of the pyre it’s still red hot to the touch so I ask Aiden to get me some water and wait in comingled relief and hysteria behind the feed barrel. Thankfully it doesn’t take him long and after cooling down the token I tuck it in my pocket and as casually as I can head up to the house.

Aiden grabs my hand.

“Meet me in the training room after dinner for our usual sparring session. We can plan some more.”

“I will.”

Dinner is nerve wracking. The whole time I’m waiting for father’s guards to come in and drag me off. I do my best to choke down the food on my plate and if not for Catriona’s chatter about the wedding to keep me distracted I don’t know how I would have made it through.

Halfway through dinner Emmet comes in to report.

“My Lord we found the raider who escaped into the river and the rest of them from today’s attack have been rounded up and executed per your orders.”

“Good, make a final sweep tomorrow out to the borders and if the way is clear I want you to escort Kaden and Bernal to Polis the following morning.”

“Yes sir.”

Looks like I’m going to have to leave tonight. With the troops out in force tomorrow looking for raiders it will be impossible to get out without being noticed. I really hoped to have more time but there’s nothing for it. I excuse myself and head to the training room.

Aiden is working with the escrima sticks when I walk in. I waste no time with pleasantries.

“I have to leave tonight.”

“You’re father’s doing a sweep of the territory tomorrow isn’t he?”

“Yep, I won’t be able to get out tomorrow, he’s sending out all of Light Horse with Emmet.”

Aiden slumps down on the bench dangling the escrima sticks between his knees.

“Well our esteemed Cheannasaí is nothing if not observant and thorough. The fact that your father is sending him to clean up means he’s clearly supporting this travesty.”

I close my eyes and drop down next to him. I had a suspicion about Emmet’s complicity and hearing it said out loud makes everything feel hopeless. Emmet is well loved by his men and holds a lot of influence so it’s likely the entirety of Light Horse is compromised or a good chunk of the veterans at least.

“Fortunately Gareth and the rest of the stable hands are over at the barracks seeing to the warhorses. It’s probably just Tom left at the family stable so it shouldn’t be too hard to get Luna out.”

“I’ll go with you and keep him distracted.”

“Are you sure Aiden? You’re risking your life here. Bluegrass could wind up torn in two with the soldiers loyal to my father’s ambitions fighting the ones loyal to my brother and the sacred trust of the Commander.”

“I’m sure it’s the right thing to do.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Aiden huffs a quiet laugh and gets up holding his hand out.

“Get your stuff and meet me behind the kitchen.”

I take his hand and stand up, impulsively sliding my arms around his waist. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head.

“Come on Lady Siobhan your destiny awaits.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheannasaí - Irish Gaelic for Commander  
> mokskwoma - Trigedaslang for worm  
> twitcha Trigedaslang for rat


	10. Blood and flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan starts out on her journey and it's not long before she runs into trouble. Luckily she makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the moment you have all been waiting for! She runs into Roan!

Thanks to some timely cloud cover on the crescent moon and a bit of distraction from Aiden I’m making good time out to the border. Its risky traversing the woods this late but Emmett has the advantage of taking the main roads into Polis. If I want to keep my anonymity and stay ahead of him I have to go overland and that means putting in some hours before stopping. I know Luna can handle it but I feel bad for waking her up and dragging her on this venture with me. She should be snoozing, snug and comfortable in her stall not wandering the woods in the middle of the night. Of course Aiden wasn’t so sure about ME wandering in the middle of the woods at night let alone Luna.

_“Are you sure you wanna do this Siobhan?”_

_“We don’t have a choice Aiden, if Lexa is replaced the whole Coalition could fall apart and then we’d all be back to fighting each other over territory. Not to mention Trikru is innocent.”_

_“The other clans have always respected our neutrality”_

_“True but father said we couldn’t keep depending on that and it’s the one thing I agree with him on.”_

_“You know, I respect the hell out of your brother Siobhan but the mantle of chieftain should be yours.”_

_I look up from packing my rucksack in shock and I can hardly speak around the rush of emotion._

_“You really think that?”_

_“I do. Your brother can follow the steps but you, you’re a natural born leader.”_

_“I don’t know what to say.”_

_“Don’t say anything just get your rear end in gear.”_

_We head to the stable and Aiden goes and asks Tom about Atul while I slip in and get Luna out. I’ve already left Aiden with instructions on what to tell Fiona, Conall and Gareth when my absence is discovered. I opt not to tell them anything about what father is up to, its better they just think I’m running from my arranged marriage for now._

_Ten minutes later Aiden comes out to the edge of the far paddock as I’m loading up my saddle bags._

_“May the Gods watch over you.”_

_“You as well.”_

_I mount up and take a last look back when I hit the tree line and I can barely see Aiden in the gloom. I wave and head into the woods._

Four hours go by before I have to stop for a rest. I’ve been following the river along Miller’s Cliff so it’s easy to find a defendable spot and water Luna while I refill my canteen. It’s quiet except for the chirping of the crickets and the susurration of the river. Luna’s found a patch of good grass along the riverbank so I take a minute to sit down and lean up against the rock face. I pull out my tattered Rand McNally map and plot Emmett’s route to Polis. He’ll probably take old Interstate Sixty Four through the ruins of Charleston, over to Charlottesville and then on to the city of Richmond, now Polis. I figure I’ll take the Four Sixty till I cross out of Bluegrass and then take the main roads over into Polis. It’ll take me a good deal longer than Emmett but I won’t run into anyone who might recognize me. Last thing I need is someone to send a letter to father asking if he knows his daughter is traveling without an escort outside of Bluegrass.

Looking at the map and seeing all the towns and cities that dot the landscape it amazes me that there were so many people living here before Praimfaya. That once upon a time you could get into an automobile and traverse the entirety of the country in little over a week. Even crazier you could get into a plane and fly across the country in about five hours. So many millions dead when the bombs went off, all those advancements gone. Over a thousand years of history and we’re back to horses and fire. I shake off the maudlin thoughts and get back in the saddle. I wanna make at least another 2 hours before I stop for the night.

An hour and half later I’m nodding off in the saddle so it’s clearly time to stop. I pull out the tarp and throw up the lean to in a crevasse between some big boulders. There’s enough room for Luna to tuck in underneath the overhang of one of the bigger ones and even better, you can’t see the shelter until you’re almost on top of it. When Aiden was teaching me survival skills I had no idea I’d be using them in earnest, I’ll have to thank him profusely for it whenever I make it back home.

After setting up the shelter I take the saddle off Luna and get her settled in for the night. I don’t bother tethering her, I know she won’t run off and she can wander down to the river if she gets thirsty. As much as I would love a good juicy rabbit or bird, I don’t want to start a fire while I’m still in Bluegrass, so I break out my meager meal of jerky, hard bread and a handful of dried fruit and nuts. The second wind I got doesn’t last long so while I’m still lucid I set up the traps around my tiny camp. They are simple really, just pieces of metal strung up low to the ground and between the trees. Heavy enough not to rattle in the wind but light enough to make a good racket if someone tries to sneak in. Everything is as secure as I can make it so I curl up in my lean to, dagger under my rolled up cloak and go to sleep.

I wake up later and see the sun hasn’t crested the cliffs yet so I figure I’ve been out for about four hours. It’s enough for me, it’s not like I haven’t gone with less before. Foaling happens at all hours of the night and day after all. I check on Luna and she’s placidly munching down on breakfast by the river so I break my fast and re check my position on the map. Emmett should be up by now and conducting his sweep. With the size of the Light Horse it shouldn’t take long for him to be finished with it and barring any more raiders I’m guessing he’ll be on his way within the hour. I can’t afford to tarry so I pack up and get moving out.

I’ve been heading steadily southeast for two and half days and I’m almost to the junction of the sixty four. I notice some storm clouds off to the north and pause to see what direction they’re heading when I hear it. It’s behind me and off to my left. The distinct jingle of horse tack swiftly followed by the sound of an arrow thunking into the tree just to my left. I immediately dig my heels into Luna’s flanks and take off for the sixty four. If I can get to the relatively flat terrain along the old interstate I can get some distance from my attackers. I don’t want to make for an easy target though so I keep switching direction, rapidly weaving in and out of the trees. I’m forced to double back partway when I run into a landslide blocking an old creek trail.

As I’m rounding the debris pain explodes in my shoulder and knocks the breath out of me. I spare a quick glance down and see an arrow imbedded clear through it just above my right scapula. I grit my teeth and keep going, angling back toward the creek and higher ground so I can stop long enough to get the damn arrow out. Luckily the creek is smooth going and I get up the hill but I know I don’t have much time. Parked behind a boulder I reach up and snap the head off and then in quick succession reach under my arm pit and yank out the shaft. The angle is awkward and it comes out crooked so I probably just made it worse but thankfully it’s not bleeding badly. I rip off a piece of saddle cloth and hastily wrap it around my shoulder as best I can. I can hear my pursuers fording the creek and I realize I’m not going to make it to the sixty four without having to confront them. I peek out from behind the boulder and see one of them just coming out of the water. I have the advantage so I slip off Luna and grab my sling and a good sized rock. I got teased quite a bit when I was little for running around with a sling. Everyone said it was a useless weapon and couldn’t compare to the sword, right up to the day I got mad at Gareth for something he said that I can’t recall and I knocked him on his ass with a stone to the forehead. This time my intent is to kill so I kneel down at the top of the hill and wait for my shot. When he gets close enough I let loose and aim for his eye. With my shoulder injury it’s agonizing but the results would make Aiden proud. The stone smashes into his left eye and he jerks his head back, yanking hard on the reins. His horse startles at the sound of his scream and rears up dumping him backwards off the saddle. He goes rolling towards the water and cracks his skull on a rock, going limp. I waste no time and get back in the saddle.

I had hoped the death of their compatriot would afford me some breathing room but unfortunately they are back on my trail quickly. At this point I’m just trying to head in the general direction of where I know the sixty four to be. I’m praying to whatever God will listen when I hear the thundering of hooves off to my right and look over just in time to get rammed into by one of the men. Luna loses her footing against the heavier horse and goes down on her haunches. I roll off to the side and narrowly avoid getting clobbered in the head by the hooves of my pursuer’s horse. I spare a brief thought to how ironic that would be if I died just like my mother. I come up on my feet and back up, drawing my sword. It’s a good thing Aiden got me used to fighting with my off hand or this would have ended real fast. Luna has gotten up and circled around behind me, her ears flat against her head and her teeth bared. If any of the men try and get behind me they’ll get a chunk taken out of their flesh for their trouble.

My attacker swings down off of his horse and grins, showing off a mouthful of blackened and rotting teeth. The other men stay mounted and off to the side, clearly they’re just going to watch the show.        

“Yu laik na kof gon chit yu did. Ai'm na don some fun fou ai end your sonraun.”

My opponent takes a swing at me which I dodge and I can hear Aiden in my head talking to me.

_“He’s bigger than you so he has reach but you can use his momentum against him. Get him angry and let him overextend himself.”_

I dodge another swing and another until he starts to get frustrated. I keep moving, making sure Luna stays behind me and eventually he gets angry enough to charge. I wait till the last possible second and rush forward, dropping to my knees simultaneously and using both our momentums to slide between his legs bringing my sword up. I’m back on my feet and looking toward his friends at about the time he realizes he’s been mortally wounded. It doesn’t take long for him to bleed out and as soon as he hits the ground they are on me.

One of them tries to flank me and almost loses his hand. In that split second he’s off balance from yanking it out of reach of Luna’s snapping teeth I see my shot and bring my sword down on his arm, taking it clean off at the wrist. Just as I’m stepping back and bringing my sword up the other one swings his axe and the impact of it hitting my blade vibrates up my arms and triggers a wave of agony that incapacitates my right arm long enough to make me lose my grip on my sword. I immediately reach for my dagger and try and get in under his arms so he can’t take another swing. I manage to bury it between two of his ribs but unfortunately it doesn’t slow him down, it just makes him angrier. I don’t have time to disengage before he throws his axe to the side and hurls me to the ground hard enough to knock the breath out of me for a moment. I get one opportunity to shove my foot into his groin and then he’s on top of me, hands wrapped around my throat and thumbs digging into my pulse point. I fight the instinct to try and pry his hands from around my throat knowing it would do no good and bring my hands up on the inside of his arms to dig my thumb into his right eye. He lets go of my neck and rears back, buying me a precious second to breathe. I’m fighting to get my knee up against his chest and roll sideways to get him off of me my shoulder screaming in pain, when he gasps and his whole body stiffens before toppling off to the side. I look over in shock and see a black and white fletched arrow imbedded in his throat. Getting up and shaking off the brief dizziness I look over and see the four remaining pursuers fighting the owner of the black and white arrows. He’s dropped his bow and is currently wading through them with his blade like a scythe through wheat. Retrieving my weapons I go to help my erstwhile savior but by the time I cross the distance he has already killed them all.

There is something about his fighting style that tugs on my memory but I’m too tired to chase it down. The buzz from the fight has drained out of me, leaving my body shaky. My throat aches with every swallow and before I can say a word he’s in front of me holding out his water skin. I manage to croak out a rusty thank you and he smiles. I hand him his water skin back and go to check on Luna but he gets in my way and imperiously clicks his fingers and points them toward one of the boulders.

“She’s fine, sit.”

“I’d rather see for myself, I’m not dying the shoulder can wait.”

I go to walk around him and find a very solid chest in my way. I narrow my eyes and he cocks a hip, folding his arms.

“You’re wounded let me take a look.”

I’m tempted to push the issue because I don’t like the attitude but my shoulder hurts and I can feel the blood still sluggishly trickling out of the tear on my back so I roll my eyes and go park myself on the boulder.

I huff at him.

“Are you always this pushy?”

He snarks back.

“Are you always this stubborn?”

He kneels down in front of me and with a light, firm touch runs his fingers over my throat. This close I can see the startling blue of his eyes and as they track the forming bruises I see an inexplicable rage kindle in their depths. The sheer force of his anger confuses me because it almost feels personal for him even though he doesn’t know me. Odder still there’s a whisper in my mind that tells me I know him which makes no sense. He closes his eyes for a moment like he’s bracing himself and gets up to grab his pack, moving around behind me on the rock and bracketing my legs with his. There’s not much space between us and it feels kind of intimate but for reasons I can’t understand my instincts tell me to trust him so I relax.

“Lift your shirt up and let me get a look at your shoulder.”

I hesitate, for him to see my injury I’m going to have to expose a good bit of skin. My cheeks burning with disconcertion I swallow and let him help me lift my shirt.

As soon as his warm palms touch my back I can‘t hold in a shiver and I sit there with my eyes closed as his fingers gently clean and wrap my wound. He finishes and there’s a moment when I feel his breath close on the back of my neck and his thumb brushes the lightest of caresses across my shoulder. There’s something weighty and pregnant with meaning in the gesture but I can’t decipher it. He still has his other hand resting lightly over the back of my neck and I can feel the tension coming from him. It’s like he’s about to do something or say something but then stops at the last second. Before the whole thing gets unbearable I pull away and tug my shirt back on.

I stand up and turn around and he’s looking at me with this indecipherable expression. It’s making me kind of nervous so I get flippant.

“Your turn, you saw mine so I get to see yours.”

He comes back from wherever he was and laughs.

“But I didn’t really get to see anything did I?”

“Sorry I don’t even know your name, you don’t get to peek.”

He actually pouts.

“Well that’s not fair, you want me to take my shirt off you get to see everything, I don’t know YOUR name.”

I roll my eyes in exasperation.

“Just take your shirt off.”

He huffs.

“Are you always this pushy?”

I snark.

“Are you always this stubborn?”

He flashes his white teeth and slowly pulls his shirt off. I’m embarrassed to say I barely catch my mouth from dropping open and just stand there staring. The man looks like he was sculpted by the Gods. It doesn’t even matter that it looks like he hasn’t had a good bath in days or that his long hair is knotted and his face covered in dirt. I’m imagining those steel corded arms wrapped around me, running my tongue over the endless ridges on his stomach. My eyes flick up to his face and he’s grinning like he knows what I’m thinking.

I look heavenward and kneel on the rock to look him over. He has a few shallow slices that just need cleaning but nothing serious. I rummage in his pack and set to work figuring I’ll make small talk.

“So um thanks for saving my life.”

“You’re welcome My Lady.”

My hand pauses in its task for a moment. I didn’t expect to hear any titles out here, I didn’t want to hear any titles till I got to Polis.

“Why do you call me that?”

“It’s what you are.”

I scoff.

“Would I be out here alone if I was some noble lady?”

He turns around and looks at me.

“I don’t know you tell me.”

I grit my teeth.

“I’m not ok?”

He gauges my clear denial and turns back around.

“Ok.”

He goes silent. I move around to his front and start cleaning a cut on his forehead thinking about what I might have done to give myself away. I didn’t think I was that obvious. I purposely equipped Luna with tack that was unmarked and worn but still serviceable. I left a note and borrowed some of Lanie’s clothes, she and I being a similar size. My dagger and sword I took from the training room. Scarred and nicked but perfectly good blades bereft of clan symbols that would give me away. It nags at me until I have to know.

I sigh.

“How did you know?”

“That’s a pretty valuable horse for one.”

“Maybe I stole it.”

He snorts.

“Yeah you look like a horse thief.”

“Ok smarty so you know your horse flesh, what else gave me away?”

“You did.”

“Explain.”

“Even without the trappings of wealth the way you carry yourself gives you away my lady.”

I finish up and put his supplies away. 

“It’s a little late for honorifics don’t you think, I already took my shirt off and stop calling me that.”

He smirks and cocks his head to the side.

“Alright, you wish to hide your title I’ll respect it.”

He holds out his hand.

“I’m Leidolf.”

I trust my instincts and take his hand.

“Siobhan.”

He repeats my name, letting it roll off his tongue like he’s tasting it and do I ever like the way it sounds coming out of his mouth.

He reaches down and picks up his pack.

“The sun is setting, we should leave here before the predators come for the bodies. There’s a cave not too far from here that’s big enough for us and the horses, we can rest up for the night.”

While he loads up I can’t resist looking over the bodies. I’m hoping they’re just rogues and not more of the raiders my father hired. They turn out to be among the clanless. Drifters marked as splita for some unnamable treason they committed against their birth clan. Their markings have been so thoroughly eradicated they are all but unrecognizable. I can’t imagine being cast out, losing family, friends and your entire identity. Forced to kill and steal to survive. It makes me think about my family, the family I’m choosing to leave behind and I feel a twinge of guilt. Maybe after getting my warning to the Commander I’ll consider returning. I turn my back on the dead and retrieve my weapons, mounting up alongside Leidolf and together we head for the cave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Yu laik na kof gon chit yu did. Ai'm na don some fun fou ai end your sonraun.” = 
> 
> You are going to pay for what you did. I'm going to have some fun before I end your life.”
> 
> The name Leidolf is Norse for Wolf descendant.


	11. A great beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan shares with Leidolf her reasons for leaving, at least one of them. Little does she know the man who saved her life and is now sitting across the fire from her all dirty and worn is Prince Roan himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of short, Call it a bridge between one day and the next. It's significant and begins to build their friendship so I thought it deserved its own chapter.  
> Ouskejonkru is Blue Cliff in the 100.

Arriving at the cave he gathers wood for a fire while I get the horses unpacked. We go through the motions of setting up camp as if we’ve been doing it for years. There’s a familiarity and comfort between us that I just can’t wrap my head around. I can tell though he has questions and so do I. It’s after we’ve finished up our evening meal and are laying back watching the firelight sparkle off the mineral deposits in the ceiling that he speaks up.

“I’ve no doubt you can take care of yourself but I’m curious why a noblewoman is out here alone without an escort.”

I don’t know what to tell him. Sure he saved my life and my instinct is to trust him not to do me harm but the fact is I don’t know him or where his ultimate loyalties lie. I dare not say anything about why I’m headed to Polis but I figure it’s safe enough mention the marriage.

“Let’s just say my father and I disagree on who my future husband should be.”

“Arranged marriage?”

“Yes.”

“So is it the man he’s chosen or the fact that it was arranged?”

“Both I guess.”

He sits up and leans against the wall, softly encouraging me.

“Tell me.”

“My parents’ marriage was a wreck. They were miserable and I never understood why till recently.”

I pause picking at a loose thread on my shirt.

“Go on.”

“My father was in love with someone else. He would have asked for her hand but my grandfather arranged a marriage for him with Ouskejonkru.”

“What did he do?”

“He married my mother, he had no choice.”

“What happened to the woman he loved?”

“Her father married her off to someone else. When the petition for her hand came in grandfather made my father bless the union.”

“Cruel.”

I laugh and there’s a bitter edge to it.

“It drove the point home. Irregardless of your feelings duty comes first.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Father hated every minute of his marriage and he took it out on me.”

I hear Leidolf’s breath hiss between his teeth and he looks like he wants to go find my father and beat him to a pulp.

I smile and shake my head.

“He never hit me, never even yelled at me. Just ignored me altogether. My sister says it’s because I look like my mother. She had no more control over what happened than him but he spent their marriage resenting her anyway.”

I swallow hard around the lump.

“Some good came out of it though, I got to learn how to fight with a sword.”

“Such an inappropriate pastime for a lady!”

I look over at Leidolf and he winks.

“Pfftt, I’m no lady.”

He chuckles and the tightness in my chest loosens a bit.

“Anyway, I wanted the freedom to make my own choice and maybe it’s foolish but I want Lanie has.”

“Lanie?”

“Our head cook. She met her husband when she was twelve and they’ve been together ever since.”

I sit up and rest my chin on my knees.

“So what about the man your father chose?”

“Yeah that’s a big one.”

“Do tell.”

I hesitate.

“Hey, I promise it stays between us.”

I take a deep breath.

“It’s Prince Roan.”

“Prince Roan? As in Prince Roan of Azgeda, heir to the Winter Throne?”

“That’s the one.”

Leidolf lets loose a long whistle.

“Yeah it completely blindsided me. Since I was eight my father’s been getting petitions from various nobles but he always rejected them. I didn’t know what he was waiting for but I was more than happy to put it off. Turns out he was holding out for an alliance with the Ice Nation because when he got a letter from the prince himself asking for my hand, that was it.”

“And then you left.”

“And then I left.”

“You would turn down being a Queen?”

“Every pompous prick I’ve ever met came with a title, Prince Roan included.”

“REALLY?”

I roll my eyes and shrug.

“Ok he wasn’t so bad just a bit of full of himself and kind of intimidating. I don’t know why he picked me, we only met that one time at the Conclave and barely spoke three words to each other.”

“You’re a beautiful woman from a well-respected clan why wouldn’t he?”

“Well I’d rather have him pick me because he actually likes me not because I bring an important alliance.”

“Glowing Forest would have been a good clan for you. No political marriages or pompous pricks with titles.”

I laugh.

“Yeah you’re right, their system is probably closest to how the original United States ran things.”

“So out of curiosity, what would you do if you ran into Prince Roan?”

“I’d tell him if he wants me he needs to ask ME, not my father and not through a letter. And I want to get to know him, he’s hot but what good does that do me outside the bedroom?”

“You’re incredibly candid.”

“It gets the point across.”

“So you’re saying you want to be courted?”

“I’m not some precious princess who needs to be showered with gifts Leidolf but if it’s worth it he should want to put in the time.”

“You know I’ve met my share of noble women and you are certainly one of a kind Siobhan.”

I raise an eyebrow.

“Met many noble women have you?”

He just smiles.

“It’s time for bed, you can ask me anything you want tomorrow.”

He lays down, tucking his coat underneath his head and promptly going to sleep. It’s not long before the day catches up with me and I follow.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think, comments are food! I know everyone is looking forward to the smut and trust me it's coming. Along with a roller coaster of emotions.


	12. Conspiracies and Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan and Leidolf get to know one another. Revelations follow.

I wake up and Leidolf is already tucking a couple of potatoes under the embers for breakfast. Judging by the sun it’s still relatively early.

“Morning Siobhan.”

“Mmmmm.”

I get up and stretch, wincing when my back protests at having slept on rock.

Leidolf looks me up and down, his expression somewhere between sympathetic and amused.

“First time camping?”

“I’ve done plenty of camping, just not in a cave.”

“Aren’t you full of surprises.”

I roll my eyes in annoyance.

“What, you thought I sat around and spun wool and bossed the servants around or something?”

“Well Bluegrass is pretty traditional.”

“How do you know I’m from Bluegrass?”

“I’m familiar with all the noble families.”

“How does that work? You look like you’ve been sleeping with the pigs.”

He blinks at me and I think maybe I’ve offended him when he starts laughing.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you manners?”

“She certainly gave it an effort but she died when I was ten.”

Dead silence.

It’s comical how big his eyes get. I can see he’s about to fall all over himself to apologize.

“Don’t worry about it, you couldn’t have known.”

He nods and hands me a potato and some apple slices and tucks into his breakfast.

“What happened if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Copperhead. Spooked the horse and dumped my mother out of the saddle, she got kicked in the head.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks. My chambermaid Igrainne raised me after that.”

I look over and laugh, breaking the tension.

“You want someone to blame for my inappropriate behavior it’s her.”

He smirks.

“So she’s the one who let you wander off alone?”

“No, I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving except Aiden.”

“Aiden?”

“Our swordmaster.”

I get up and start getting Luna ready to go.

“You in a hurry?”

“I want to put some more miles between me and home yeah.”

“What are you worried about?”

“One of my father’s men will find me and drag me back home or Roan will find me.”

Leidolf gets up and starts dousing the fire.

“What happened to him courting you?”

“That’s a nice daydream but I’m not risking his wrath when he shows up at Claiborne and finds out I’m not there.”

“You think he’d be angry with you?”

“I don’t know him. I’m erring on the side of caution.”

“Pessimistic.”

“I prefer to call it realism.”

I go to grab Luna’s saddle to get her geared up and he stops me.

“Let me, you could tear open your shoulder.”

As much as it annoys me he’s right, I nod and go get my saddlebags.

We finish loading up the gear and head on out towards the sixty four.

“So your swordmaster.”

“What about him?”

“It’s interesting you chose him to reveal your plans to and not Igrainne or a family member.”

“They would have tried to convince me to stay.”

“Aiden didn’t have a problem with you leaving?”

“Oh he had a problem with it, he just couldn’t do anything to stop me.”

The better part of a half an hour goes by before Leidolf speaks up again.

“So where are we headed?”

“We?”

“Yes WE.”

“I’m headed north to the sixty four junction, when we get there you are headed back to your porcine friends.”

“Porcine friends?”

He huffs out a laugh.

“I don’t think so Siobhan.”

I sigh.

I really didn’t need him following me when I got to Polis.

“Look I appreciate you saving my life but you can go back to whatever it was you were doing before you found me.”

“I wasn’t doing anything of importance.”

“Well then go back to aimlessly wandering.”

“Nope, someone needs to watch your back. We all know how much trouble redheads get into.”

If looks could kill he would be dead right now.

“You are absolutely determined to follow me.”

“As absolutely determined as you are to avoid your nuptials.”

This is getting frustrating. It’s hard to keep a secret mission secret when you have this to contend with.

I look over and he’s got the look of someone who just won an argument and is going to be insufferable about it.

“Ugh! Fine, I’ll just ditch you later.”

He chuckles deep in his chest.

“You’re welcome to try strik won.”

A tiny flicker of warmth blossoms in my chest at the gentle endearment but I ruthlessly squash it. Frankly it’s ridiculous that I’m drawn to him. Reminds me of the rusted metal balls Bernal came back from Tondc with. I had read in an old science book they were called Bucky Balls. No matter where you dropped them they just rolled together, pulled by magnetism and held there. That’s what it felt like, an invisible thread tugging at me insistently. Never mind that I just met him or that he’s shaping up to be a pain in my ass. Well, I refuse to let it distract me. I’ll find some way to rid myself of him before Polis.

“So, you said I could ask you anything I wanted to if I recall.”

He smiles.

“I did indeed.”

“You keep mentioning you know the noble families.”

“Yes.”

“Most people don’t know much about the ruling families outside their own clan.”

“True.”

“Well then, I’m running from my nuptials. Are you?” I tease.

The corner of his mouth lifts and he looks over at me.

“I’m not betrothed no but there is someone I would like to get to know better.”

I curse the Irish skin that can’t hide a blush worth a damn and look down at my saddle horn.

He grins.

“Such a lovely shade of pink.”

“Shof op, you still haven’t answered my question.”

He sighs as if he’s about to say something he knows I won’t like.

“I’m from one of the noble families of Azgeda.”

Turns out he was right.

My first instinct is to get the heck away from him but before I can dig my heels into Luna’s flanks Leidolf reaches over, grabbing her bridle. I whip my dagger out but hesitate, I don’t want to accidentally cut her.

“Let go!”

“Let me explain.”

Luna picks up on my anger and backs up, trying to yank her bridle out of his hand so she can bite him like she’s trained to do. I reach over and grab his hair figuring if I can overbalance him he’ll have to let go the bridle to keep from toppling out of his saddle. In a feat of strength I would be impressed with if it wasn’t currently working against me, he grabs me around the waist, hauls me out of my saddle and onto his lap. It catches me off guard but I manage to hold onto the dagger. Unfortunately, I don’t have any real leverage to use it seeing as I’m now sitting sideways on his thighs. He doesn’t restrain me or bother to take the dagger, he just lays one hand lightly on my knees and the other on my right hip. Bastard knows if I put up a fight I risk dumping myself onto the rocks below us and cracking my head open.

“Start talking.” I say through clenched teeth.

“My father backed the child of King Theo’s mistress as the next royal heir. He didn’t think Queen Nia was worthy to sit on the Winter Throne and he wasn’t the only one. There is a growing movement of people who would like to see Theo’s bastard child crowned king.”

I had planned on just silently hearing him out but I had to admit his story intrigued me.

“Who’s the bastard child?”

“My father’s half-brother.”

“Uh.”

He laughs.

“My grandmother had an affair with King Theo after my grandfather died so he’s my father’s half-brother.”

“So what about the Prince?”

“They think he’s weak. Theo’s too ill to rein in his xenophobic daughter and they were hoping Roan would but he’s hesitant to move against her. Meanwhile, she gets more power hungry and arrogant with every passing year. Nia sees no room for the other clans as anything more than the subjects of an Azgedan empire. She pays lip service to the Commander’s coalition and if she could she’d leave it but she’s not strong enough to do that right now.”

His words fill me with a sickening realization, this is something she’s been planning for a long time and I have to wonder if King Theo’s illness hasn’t been caused by her. Right now she doesn’t have the unanimous support of her people but with Ontari as her secret weapon and the fraud perpetrated on Trikru it might be enough to get her what she wants regardless of the “rebellion” at home.

“By the Gods.”

He peers at me, alarmed by my suddenly pale complexion.

“I……..I have to get down.”

He lets me slide to the ground and swiftly follows me over to the rock I drop down on. I feel the heat from his palms on my cheeks and it grounds me.

“What is it?”

“Nia is further along to fulfilling her dreams of an Azgedan empire than you think.”

“Go on.”

“Just before I left home I overheard my father talking with some of his advisors, they were discussing a plan to implicate Trikru to destabilize Lexa’s authority enough to replace her with an Azgedan nightblood.”

“There are no nightbloods in Azgeda Siobhan.”

“Her name is Ontari.”

Liedolf’s swift intake of breath told me he knew who she was.

“The Queen has been hiding a nightblood this whole time?”

“It gets worse. The crime Trikru will be accused of is the murder of twelve people in Bluegrass.”

“Wait it’s already happened?”

I pull out the token from its hiding spot in my tunic.

“This was found in the ash after the body of the first of the raiders was burned.”

He takes the token with shaking fingers.

“This is an Azgedan birth token.”

“After what I overheard I had my suspicions about the raider attacks being done by Trikru and I went digging in the pyre. My father said the warriors Nia chose would be desperate to cleanse their honor so they were probably splita. They disguised themselves as Trikru and attacked our settlements on the promise of being welcomed back into the fold after they died.”

He grips the token and looks at me with a painful grimace.

“The idea being Lexa would be forced to condemn her own people and it would leave the way open for Ontari to challenge her.”

“Exactly. And Trikru has certainly never failed to be vocal about their disdain for our neutrality. ”

He crouches there in front of me in silence and I can’t decipher what he’s thinking.

“I wasn’t just leaving home to avoid my marriage you know, I was leaving for Polis to warn Lexa.”

“You would turn in your own father?”

I glare at him and he puts his hand up placatingly.

“I don’t mean it like you’re a bad daughter, you’re doing the right thing. I’m just surprised, it takes courage to do what you’re doing.”

“Not really, there’s no love lost between me and my father.”

He hands the token back to me and blatantly stares when I tuck it back into my cleavage.

I roll my eyes.

“Are you twelve?”

He smirks and I’m thankful for the addition of humor into what is becoming a grim conversation.

We mount up again and continue towards the sixty four.

“I should warn you, my father sent the commander of one of our cavalry legions to Polis along with the father of one of the victims. They have instructions to open accusations against Trikru.”

“Where are they?”

“About a day behind us. I'd be farther ahead but I picked this route to avoid running into Emmett.”

‘Well we don’t have time to waste then.”

“So why are you out here Leidolf?”

“Nia can’t just summarily execute any of the rebels, a good number are in high positions of leadership. Some of us she exiled like me and the rest were given pointless positions in the palace to be watched very closely.”

“Makes sense, scatter your enemies and they can’t conspire together. You mentioned what everyone else thinks of Nia and Roan but what about you?”

“I agree Nia is not fit for the throne but Roan, I can understand his reluctance to move against his mother. Honestly I’d rather he take the throne and leave my family out of it.”

“You don’t want to be living it up in the palace?”

He snorts.

“No thank you. So, does anyone back home know what’s going on Siobhan?

“Aiden is the only one. I couldn’t tell my brother, he’s just the sort of impetuous idealistic hero who would have confronted father and gotten himself locked up. My sister I’ve no doubt can keep a secret but I didn‘t want to put her at risk.”

“You’re going to be the one to have to confront your father.”

“Yeah I know.”

“If it’s proven he was complicit in this mess you know what will have to happen.”

I feel a catch in my throat and swallow hard.

“My brother will have to administer the death of a thousand cuts.”

Leidolf guides his horse right up alongside mine, reaching over to cup the back of my neck and run his thumb along the underside of my ear. The gesture takes hold in my chest and the catch turns into a solitary tear he wipes away with his thumb.

“I’m guessing the tears are more for your brother than your father.”

“My brother is too gentle for that kind of brutality. If he has to do it he may never recover.”

“You shouldn’t have to do it either.”

“If it keeps his hands clean I will. But what about Queen Nia? If it’s proven she was part of the conspiracy she’ll be executed as well.”

“Chances are Trikru will claim the right to take her life since they were the one’s implicated by her lies. Of course that’s only if we don’t end up at war.”

“You know I have to wonder if King Theo’s illness isn’t an accident.”

“You think Nia had something to do with it?”

“Well if she’s willing to sacrifice innocent lives for her plot it’s not that farfetched to think she would want Theo out of the way.”

“None of us wanted to consider that possibility either, I pray you’re wrong.”

I look over and see my pain reflected in his eyes. I reach up and grab his hand from the back of my neck, bringing it down to twine our fingers together.

“Sounds like you care about him.”

He smiles.

“I do, he really loves my grandmother. Their affair was starting over for both of them. Grandfather died and not a year later the queen did too.”

He laughs bitterly.

“At least I can be thankful Nia allows my grandmother to stay with him.”

“I doubt she does it out of the goodness of her heart.”

“Mmmmm.”

“So where is your half uncle?”

“He’s safe somewhere up north with allies.”

“So then all we have to do is get the proof to Lexa, clear Trikru’s name, find all the conspirators involved and lock them up, put Roan on the Winter Throne, save King Theo and stop potential inter clan war.”

“Is that all? Here I thought it was gonna be difficult.”

He squeezes my hand and looks over at me. The smile on his face is brilliant and caught up in the moment he leans over to kiss me and I let him. A twinge of guilt about my husband to be makes a brief appearance but is summarily buried under the riot of sparks that burst the minute Leidolf’s lips touch mine. The sound of the river, the birds chirping, Luna munching on some grass, it all fades. There’s nothing left but his fingers in my hair, his hard bicep under my palm, the feel of his tongue sweeping into my mouth. Sitting on horseback the whole thing is kind of awkward but I really can’t bring myself to care.

The kiss goes on, growing more intense and lighting up my entire body. I squeeze his arm and a drawn out moan escapes my chest completely out of my control. He responds with a deep, resonating growl and the inhuman sound snaps me out of the pleasurable haze. I pull back and what I see should have impelled me to run but the pieces fall into place in that moment and I know him. The eyes tell me everything. Eyes filled with longing by the waters of Kennedy Creek. Eyes filled with compassion and concern in the clearing by the south barn. Fur dark as night soft and silky, a feeling of comfort, a cold wet nose and a playful nature.

His eyes are lit up from within, glowing like the moon after a rain and revealing the beast that lives inside him. I see hints of fang peeking out from the corner of his mouth and now that I’m paying attention I can actually feel the tips of claws on his right hand lightly scritching at my scalp.

He sits frozen and uncertain as to how I will react.

“You’re the wolf!” I blurt out.

He withdraws his hand and ducks his head, curling into himself. It’s obvious he expects me to either attack him or leave and my heart breaks a little when I realize he wouldn’t fight back if I did choose to attack.

I try to lighten the moment because what else can you do when the man you are traveling with and whom you may be developing feelings for turns out to be a werewolf.

“Hey, I did say I wished you could talk to me the day of the ceremony in the clearing.”

His head snaps up, eyes wide and full of hope.

“I get why you kept it from me Leidolf, it’s not exactly something you open with when you first meet someone.”

He laughs and I hear his profound relief in the sound.

“I do want to know why you were in Bluegrass.”

“I will tell you everything when we stop for the night. But let’s make some more tracks.”

I nod. There will be plenty of time to get my answers. Right now it’s critical we get to Polis before Emmett.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strik Won - Little One  
> Thanks for sticking with me guys. The kiss is just the beginning. Trust me the rest is coming. I know you're all probably yelling for the smut by now but I like to draw things out.  
> As always comments are appreciated!


	13. The Legacy of the Varúlfur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan and Leidolf take shelter in the ruins of Mt. Sterling and Siobhan gets her first lesson about werewolves.

We spend the rest of the day in comfortable silence, each of us keeping company with our own thoughts. About an hour before sunset we reach the sixty four junction and what is left of Mt. Sterling. Since we’re still in Bluegrass I take the time to wrap my distinctive hair under a scarf and we both agree staying in the woods out behind the ruins of the old supermarket is the best option. I had been through the old store with Conall before, father brought us with him when he had to settle a land dispute here. While he was discussing terms my brother and I had wandered in. Walking through the cavernous space it was hard to believe you could come here and get everything you needed in one place. Clothing, food, medicine. Now it’s nothing more than four crumbling walls, anything useful long since scavenged.

It doesn’t take long for Leidolf and I to set up camp for the night. He stops what he’s doing and watches me setting up my perimeter trap.

“Clever, who taught you that?”

“Aiden.”

“It’s becoming clear Igrainne wasn’t the only bad influence.” He teases.

I stick my tongue out.

Once the traps are set I grab my sling and start looking for decent rocks to use. Curious, he follows me.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting us dinner.”

“With that little thing?”

I look over my shoulder and shoot him a smirk.

“Watch and learn oh mighty hunter.”

I head out into the trees Leidolf a silent shadow. He’s so quiet I find myself looking back just to make he’s still there and every time I do I get a cocky grin. I slow my pace and start listening for the distinctive sound of a collared dove. As soon as I catch its cooing I start scanning the canopy and find a nice fat one perched about halfway up an old yellow pine. I grab one of the stones I picked and tuck it into the sling, bringing my left arm up and pulling back the cord with my right in one smooth pull. Steadying my breathing I take aim and let the stone fly. A brief squawk and the bird topples out of the tree. Wading into the waist high summer weeds I retrieve it and turn around to give Leidolf a smug look.

“What was that you were saying?”

“Pretty impressive strik won but can you do it while distracted?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Go seek another bird.”

I give him a suspicious look and go track down another dove.

This time when I take aim I feel him step up behind me, close enough that I can feel the heat of his body against my back. As I pull back the cord he lets a puff of breath waft over my ear and just a second before I let the stone go he leans in and takes my earlobe between his teeth. The shot goes wide and the bird takes off. I turn around and his eyes are twinkling with mischief.

“Ass, that one was YOUR dinner.”

He barks out a laugh presenting me with a graceful bow.

“I apologize strik won.”

With as much dignity as I can muster I sweep past him to find another bird.

“I am not little.”

He snickers.

“Really what are you three feet?”

In a move that would do Aiden proud I abruptly switch directions and change my momentum, shoving Leidolf in the left shoulder as hard as I can and hooking my foot behind his left ankle to knock him off balance. He goes down hard in the grass with a startled yelp. I take advantage of his momentary distraction and drop down, straddling his waist and planting my hands on either side of his head.

“Not so little I can’t lay you out.”

He grins at me.

“My mistake.”

“Uh huh.”

“So, you can camp in the wilderness, hunt, swordfight and set traps. You know for a southern noblewoman you sure are weird.”

“Says the guy who can turn into a four hundred pound wolf.”

“Point taken.”

He curls a hand around the back of my neck and pulls me down against his chest to capture my lips. Just like the first time my body lights up and shivers chase each other down my spine when he runs the fingertips of his other hand up under my shirt and down my back. I sigh and deepen the kiss, enjoying the lingering taste of the berries we shared earlier on his tongue. He brings his knees up between my legs, nudging me further up his torso and pulling his lips away. I grumble until he relocates them to my pulse point and starts to alternate between wet sucking kisses and tiny love bites. The subtle edge of a fang just behind my jawline followed by one of his hands lightly squeezing my ass has me almost panting and judging by the not insignificant hard on I can feel, I am not the only one so affected. With immense effort I pull back.

“We….we have to stop, we’re out in the open in the middle of the woods!”

“Don’t worry strik won, wolf ears remember? I’ll hear anyone coming long before they reach us.”

Hearing that, I am only too happy to continue when a growling sound interrupts us and it’s not coming from him. I drop my forehead onto his chest, red faced and embarrassed.

He chuckles.

“Better get you fed, who knows what you’re like when you get hungry.”

”Watch it I might make you get the other bird.”

“Challenge accepted.”

He rolls us over and steals a last kiss before hauling us both to our feet and holding his hand out. I pass over my sling and sweep my hand out in front.

“After you.”

I watch amused as he hunts for a suitable rock to use. He finds one and I watch as he tilts his head back, scents the air and follows his nose to an old utility pole just at the edge of the tree line. There’s about five of them arrayed on top of the crossbar and he turns around and grins.

I roll my eyes.

“Show off.”

He aims and lets the stone go, missing his first shot and scattering the birds when it cracks against the metal.

“Aim it a bit higher than your target, it drops a lot more than an arrow.”

I watch as he finds another stone and waits for the birds to return to their perch. He misses the next shot but brings one down on his third try. He hands me my sling and I smile, tucking it back into my pocket.

“Not bad, welcome to hunting boondock style.”

We get back to camp and put the birds on the fire. I choose to take a seat across the fire from him, as much as other parts of me would love to be in his lap I wanted to keep a clear head for this conversation.

“So werewolf.”

“No, more like wolf shifter. It’s not a curse or a virus, we’re all born like this.”

“So you’re aware of everything while you’re shifted, you don’t have like memory loss?”

“No we still retain our human selves even when we’re wearing fur.”

“Do you have a halfway form like they do in the stories?”

“Sort of, we can partially transform facial features and claws but other than that it’s either full wolf or full human.”

“What about children are they all born like you?”

“No it’s all random as far as we can tell. Some families do have a history of birthing more shifter children than average but we don’t know why.”

“So the parents wouldn’t matter, you could wind up with a human or shifter child.”

“No it wouldn’t matter.”

“Do you stick together?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean do shifters only marry other shifters?”

“Sadly there are families out there who do the whole purity thing. They see the blood of the Varúlfur as a gift and those not born with it unworthy. Its driven some parents to play around with rituals, herbs, animal sacrifices, all manner of ridiculous things to increase the chances of their child being born a shifter. Needless to say our culture frowns on those families, we are raised to honor the humans among us as much as the shifters.”

“Has your kind been here all along?”

“That is a long tale better told on a full stomach and a little drink.”

We sit and eat; listening to the katydids and watching the fireflies come out. I can see campfires off in the distance but no one bothers us out here. If it wasn’t so urgent that we get to Polis I would love to wander. The few times I was away from Claiborne as a child only made me want to travel more, to learn about the world that came before ours. Igrainne spent a lot of evenings chasing my wayward butt thanks to that urge. Maybe after this is over we can explore.

The sun is gone along with the food when Leidolf pulls an old flask from his pack, twists the top off and takes a long swallow before passing it to me. I’m a little more measured with my drink, the last thing I need is to do something stupid.

“Not many outside the clan know of our existence.”

“I’d imagine not, it’s the kind of thing that inspires genocide.”

He gives me a grim smile and takes the flask back, looking up at the sky and gathering his thoughts.

“According to legend the Varúlfur come from the stars. Their sun was dying so they had to leave Valhalla.”

“Wait, are we talking the Norse Valhalla?”

“Yes, the Norse are the descendants of the Varúlfur. Over the years their culture became Viking culture.”

He takes another drink and offers me the flask again. I shake my head.

“I’d better not.”

He chuckles.

“That’s right, I’ve seen you drunk.”

“Shof up, I was not drunk I was pleasantly buzzed. Besides, I’d like to see you keep a clear head after drinking Hamish’s moonshine.”

“I’ll have to visit and try some.”

Leidolf drinking with Hamish, Willem and the rest of the stable boys? May the Gods have mercy, that would be quite the lively gathering.

“I don’t know that I trust you with Hamish and the boys frankly.”

I get a shocked look.

“Oh please I could tell you were trouble the minute I met you, now finish the story.”

“Yes my lady."  He grins.

"They came here because it was the closest habitable world they could reach with their ships. When they got here they saw how primitive the natives were and made a decision. They would let civilization progress without interference from them and they buried their technology, intending to keep it safe until such time as they thought the people here were ready. They settled amongst the natives and eventually ceased to be a separate race.”

“So were they all shifters in the beginning? Before they came here?”

“Yes, there were no humans on Valhalla at least not the way we know them. Children weren’t born without the wolf spirit until a few generations had gone by.”

“So what were the Varúlfur like before they came here?”

“Like us but taller, much taller. They could actually achieve a halfway transformation like the werewolves in the horror stories.”

“I’m gonna guess the hidden technology was never found.”

He laughed.

“No but not for lack of trying.”

“Pretty impressive the Varúlfur gave up all their advancements, going from a race that could travel the stars to one that lived in stone huts.”

“They knew the natives would probably destroy themselves with it.”

“I wonder if they planned on going back someday.”

“There would be nothing to go back to, without a sun Valhalla would be lifeless.”

“That’s depressing. Having to abandon all that culture, all that knowledge. Generations of civilization lost.”

“Sounds kinda personal for you.”

“It is. Bernal, he used to go to Tondc a lot. He’d bring back books and clothes and all sorts of stuff from the old world. I read all about DaVinci, the automobile, vaccines…..thousands of years of history, of advances in science gone because we were idiots. We sent people to the moon and now we can barely get ourselves across country. If Praimfaya hadn’t happened…..we were working on making interstellar travel a reality Leidolf and now look at us.”

I stop embarrassed.

“Sorry I’m ranting.”

“Don’t be, you have passion.”

I look up and he has a gentle smile gracing his face.

“When this is over I’ll take you to the library at Stronghold. We have a whole collection of things from the old world, you’ll fit right in with the historians.”

“There’s a library?”

“There’s a library.”

I grin.

“You realize you may never see me again.”

“I think I’ll take my chances.”

I think of Bernal, the one who ignited my love for knowledge of the old world and the smile slides off my face.

“What is it?”

“Bernal is the farmer who lost his daughter to the raiders. She was in the barn saying good night to the horses and…....she was so trusting, she would have wanted to introduce them to her favorite horse and they.....”

The tears suddenly sweep in with a vengeance and the next thing I know I’m cradled in Leidolf’s lap, my face buried in his chest.

“I’m so sorry ai niron, if I could take this pain away I would.”

“Elsie was.......they cut her throat Leidolf.”

“Siobhan.”

I look up and there are tears in his eyes.

“I promise you there will be vengeance for Elsie, for her and all the others lost to this treachery.”

I sniffle and wipe my eyes, finding myself overcome by a jaw cracking yawn.

"Thank you."

“It’s been a long day, let me check your shoulder and we’ll turn in.”

I’m barely awake when he maneuvers me into a sitting position between his legs and carefully unwraps the bandage.

“It’s healing nicely, no infection. Should be…..” He stops.

“What?”

“I don’t remember you having a tattoo on the back of your neck.”

“I don’t.”

He lays his hand on my upper back.

“Lean forward.”

I start getting nervous.

“What, what is it?”

Every second that goes by with silence from him increases my anxiety.

“LEIDOLF!”

He sits back.

“You’ve been marked by Grandfather Thunder.”

“What!?”

“On your neck is the symbol of the Stormcrow.”

Why in the name of the ancestors would the Incarna of Thunder mark me? I think over everything Igrainne and Lanie taught me about Muxumsa Pethakowe and come up completely empty.

“I'm totally lost here Leidolf."

He laughs.

“The spirits never are straightforward.”

I groan.

"Thunder will reveal himself in his own time Siobhan, we just have to wait."

I sigh and go to get up and head to my bedroll but he tightens his arm around my waist, lays down and tucks my head under his chin. It's not long before the day catches up with me and I fall into a dreamless sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ai niron = my love  
> Varúlfur = A breed of werewolf. They are descended from Sköll and Hati, the sons of Fenrir in Norse legend  
> Mt. Sterling is a town in Kentucky by the 64 junction and it does have a Walmart by a forest  
> Collared Doves are common in Kentucky and are indeed hunted


	14. Getting to Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan and Leidolf get underway on their roadtrip to Polis.

I wake up in the morning to the very pleasant sensation of Leidolf's fingers carding through my hair and open my eyes to see him fondly watching me. 

“Mmmm, were you watching me sleep?” 

“Maybe.” 

I smile. 

“Creeper.” 

“At least I don’t snore.” 

I suck in an outraged breath. 

“That’s a filthy lie take it back!” 

He laughs, eyes twinkling. 

“Nope.” 

I launch myself up, shove him over and attack his ribs. 

“Take it back!” 

He actually starts to giggle and it’s the most incongruous sound coming from this big fierce warrior that I pause and stare down at him in shock which gives him the opportunity to turn the tables. I wind up on the bottom with him straddling my legs, I can’t say that I mind it all that much really. 

“I   do   not   snore.” 

“Ok you don’t snore but you do talk in your sleep, it’s charming.” 

“Oh gods what did I say?” 

“Something about Conall letting the cheese out and stealing your hat.” 

I hide my face in my hands and Leidolf starts laughing. 

“Sounded serious Siobhan.” 

“Shof op.” 

He smiles and leans down to lay a lingering kiss on my lips before rolling off and helping me to my feet.  

“I need to get a message to my people in Azgeda about what you told me. Morehead is the nearest location with a pigeon post. I’d rather take breakfast on the road and get going if that’s alright with you.” 

"That’s fine. I’m getting antsy anyway, Emmett’s probably in Winchester right now and that’s still too close for my comfort.”  

We break camp and head out on the sixty four. There's enough pavement left over from the old highway that we make pretty good time. We pass a few travelers here and there, mostly merchants but every time it happens I keep my head down and my fingers crossed. We're still too close to home and I don't want any questions I won't be able to answer.  

"Tell me about your ancestors." 

"Well, all we have left of our founders is scattered poems about the day they arrived on Earth. There's passages about the great white ship that carried the wolf people landing on the mountain. How they came from a land of eternal twilight and snow. How they buried the ship and all its knowledge deep inside a mountain using magic. They told the people it would remain hidden until the gods decided the people were worthy of it." 

"If it carried the entirety of Valhallan civilization it must have been a pretty big ship." 

"So they say." 

"So, why were you in Bluegrass, you never said." 

"We knew Prince Roan had sent a marriage proposal to your father, I was curious so I wandered down that way. I wasn't planning on making contact at all but then I caught your scent." 

"My scent?" 

"For Varúlfur the way we see the world is mostly done through our noses. It's our strongest sense, we can smell illness, pick up emotions.....it's the first thing that attracts us to the opposite sex." 

"So I smelled good." 

"It's a little more complex than that but yeah." 

"What DO I smell like?" 

He reaches out and takes my hand, bringing my arm up to his nose.  

"Mmmmm cloves, orange blossom and cedar." 

I bring my other arm up to my nose and sniff. 

"You can smell all that? I got nothing but horse and smoke." 

He closes his eyes and turns my arm over, lightly running the tip of his nose across the underside of my wrist, tickling the hairs and raising goosebumps. A rather vivid image of him running it up the inside of my thigh pops up in my head. My scent must give me away because the second I think it he looks up and gives me the filthiest grin imaginable. 

I pull my arm back. 

"Ahem, so we all have a certain scent?" 

"Everyone has a unique combination of notes that make up their scent yes." 

"So then you must have smelled the blood when I got attacked, you were close enough." 

He growls. 

"I heard you cry out in pain, I could smell your fear, you were bleeding, I came close to shifting." 

I reach over and squeeze his shoulder. 

"I'm glad you were there." 

"I didn't expect to see you again, except maybe at your hand fasting to Roan. I left because he is my Prince and you were proving to be too much of a temptation." 

I grin and nudge my horse closer. 

"Did the Big Bad Wolf wanna follow Red Riding Hood home?" 

He sighs and rolls his eyes. 

"Oh come on you had to have known that was coming at some point." 

I poke him in the side. 

"Come on it was funny." 

He looks sideways at me and smiles. 

"You don't seem to have any compunctions about rolling around with your Prince's betrothed now." 

"Yes well it seems the Prince's betrothed doesn't wish to marry him so I am under no obligation to behave myself." 

I laugh and pepper him with more questions about the Varúlfur and Valhalla. He's clearly amused by my need to know absolutely everything and we pass the rest of the day in pleasant conversation, getting into Morehead about two hours before sundown.  

Morehead's a big settlement, thanks to the nearby lake it's become a major stop on the merchant road between Polis and the clans of the plains so we get a roof and a bed tonight. We get settled in and head for the messenger post at the old university. While Leidolf is composing his message I seek out the proprietor, there's a slim chance I might have a message from Aiden. He knows my route and by now the secret is out that I ran off.  

Turns out there is more than one.  

Siobhan, 

I took a chance and guessed that you would head to Polis since hiding from your future husband is what you intended. What in the name of the Gods are you doing? Father is furious, he's sent out riders to find you, they left two days ago. Siobhan they have orders to drag you back here bound if necessary! He hasn't told the Azgedan's yet but the Prince will be here soon and is expecting to see his bride! Catriona is terribly worried about you, she begs you to return. I shouldn't say anything but Fiona and Igrainne wish you luck, I can't imagine why they think this is a good thing. Please come home sister. 

Conall 

Well that was about what I expected from my brother.  

Siobhan, 

I hope this message finds you well. No one knows of your father's treachery as of yet and he along with everyone else has bought the story that you just ran from your nuptials. He sent out riders to run you down however so you need to keep moving. There are warnings about a group of splita wandering the countryside, apparently they hit a caravan coming out of Lexington about four days back so be careful. There haven't been anymore attacks, looks like your father did enough damage for now. Emmett is not far behind you and Bernal is thirsty for vengeance so you will have to deal with him when he gets to Polis. I'll keep an eye on things here good luck, may the Gods favor you. 

Aiden 

Well looks like I already ran into the splita. I wish Aiden hadn't sent this, he took a big chance sneaking into the coop. I only pray the aviãrius doesn't notice one of his pigeons is missing. 

Leidolf comes over and slides his arms around my waist. 

"Everything alright?" 

"I got messages from my brother and Aiden. Conall is pretty much begging me to come home and Aiden let me know my father has sent out riders to track me down. Everyone pretty much believes my motivation for leaving was to get out of my marriage, no one knows about my father's plans yet." 

"Well we'll just have to make sure we stay ahead of things then." 

"Did you get your letter sent out?" 

"Yes, they'll send a response to Huntington." 

"Wish I could send word to Aiden but I'll have to wait till this is over." 

We head out of the coop and follow our noses to a vendor selling grilled fish and potatoes. Tucked away with our dinner in a secluded corner by the ruins of the Morehead University library I can almost pretend we are just two lovers sharing a meal and not a runaway and an exile both committing treason against our respective leaders. 

"When we get back to the room can I see you shift?" 

"I was wondering when you were going to ask." 

"I figured I'd wait till we got somewhere there was a door with a lock." 

"Good thinking." 

We hit the market to resupply and then head to the inn. There's enough left standing you can tell it used to be one of the old dorms for the university students. The room we get is simple, a bed for two, a table, a closet that's missing its doors and an old dresser. There's no glass left in the window, just some curtains, it's a good thing it's still warm out. The basin under it has fresh water and towels so we take turns getting cleaned up as best we can. 

"You know one thing I miss about being a noble woman? MY BATHTUB." 

Leidolf laughs.  

"Well when we get to Polis I'll make sure you get a room with one princess." 

I throw my wet towel at his face. 

Snickering he takes his turn to clean up and I bounce up and down on the bed like a kid, impatient to see his shift. Of course he takes his sweet time cleaning up just to piss me off.  

"You know no matter how much you scrub it's not going to help." 

He picks up a towel and gives me the one finger salute.  

After what feels like an interminable amount of time he comes over to the foot of the bed and starts to take his clothes off. 

"Woah what are you doing?" 

"I can't shift with my clothes."  

"Oh.....right." 

He smirks. 

Yeah now I feel stupid, I didn't even think of that. I sit there and stare, quite enjoying all that rippling muscle until he shucks his pants.  

I let out an embarrassing squawk and slap my hand over my eyes but not before I get an eyeful.  

Leidolf has been truly BLESSED. 

"Ooookay no pants, umm yeah not looking." 

He's laughing at me and then the laughter morphs into a groan and I can actually hear the sounds of his body changing. The sibilant hiss of fur sprouting from his skin, the snap of bone breaking and reforming. His vocal chords shift and the groan becomes a growl. I can't even describe it, it should be painful but the noises he's making are almost like a welcome release of tension. As if the human part of him is a cage that hides the real him. I open my eyes when I feel the bed creak under his weight and looming over me is my furry friend. 

"Wow." 

I reach over and grab handfuls of his fur, utterly fascinated by the knowledge that underneath all of it is a man. He crawls into my lap and starts licking my face. 

"Oh eww, come on Leidolf." 

He rolls over and flops down next to me letting out a big yawn. 

"You plan on staying like that tonight?" 

He sneezes. 

"You're not a bed hog like my dog are you, cause I'll make you sleep on the floor." 

He huffs and shakes his head. 

I kick my shoes off and lay down next to him. Reaching out I nudge his lips upward, gently running my fingers over his canines and he indulges me by opening his mouth. His teeth are frightening, the span of the length of my hand and razor sharp. Avidly curious I explore, my fingers rubbing his ears, touching his muzzle, brushing down his tail, separating his footpads so I can see his claws. He lies quiet and patient throughout the whole thing. After awhile a full stomach and the heat his body is putting off starts to make me sleepy. I wrestle with my modesty for a minute before I get up and shed my overtunic and pants, leaving me in my tank and underwear. I can almost hear the sound of the court ladies hyperventilating over my scandalous behavior. I'm alone with a man who is not my husband, I'm planning on sleeping in the same bed with him AND I'm in my underwear. Oh my. 

I climb back in bed and lay down, feeling Leidolf curl up against my back. He's so big I can lay my head under his chin and still fit the rest of my body in the curve of his legs. You would think being the little spoon when the big spoon is a giant wolf would be weird but just like the last time I was close to him in this form, it feels safe and comforting and it doesn't take long for me to drop off to sleep. 

Sometime during the night I see myself on a hilltop overlooking a shallow valley in the distance and it's approaching sunrise. I can see the Seven Sisters low in the southern sky and there's deep snow on the ground. There's a major mountain range about ten miles off in that direction, it's so vivid I'm not certain it's a dream, I can clearly smell the trees and the crisp winter air. I spy Luna standing under a pine nearby and nosing at one of the cones hanging by her head. She's in heavy winter tack and I notice the saddle bears the markings of the Ice Nation. I look closely at myself and see that I am wrapped in heavy furs and leather but what catches my eye is the blade strapped to my left thigh. From what I can see of it it's exquisite, the blade compact but thick, the pommel made of bone and wrapped in black leather. As with Luna's saddle the handle is embellished with the symbol of the Ice Nation. I try and get closer but I can't, I can only watch the scene unfold. From the trees behind myself I see a wolf come up and take its place next to me. It's not Leidolf but I can tell it's a shifter, smaller than him and a deep brown color with blonde highlights. It's clear I know who it is when I look down and speak to it. 

"Did my husband send you?" 

The wolf sits down and huffs, I watch myself snort. 

"Overprotective ass." 

I watch as my future self takes a seat on a rock to wait for something and it doesn't take long. I hear what sounds like distant thunder and watch as I track the sound to see a streak of fire crossing the horizon trailing smoke and debris. Whatever it is crashes into the base of the mountain, sending a shower of rock sliding down into the valley and flattening the trees surrounding it. I mount Luna and traverse the valley to reach the crash site with the wolf at my side but am forced to wait for the smoke to clear and the debris to stop falling but eventually it's safe enough to get closer and I dismount and pick my way through the metal and melting snow to get closer. Reaching what looks to be the outer hull of a ship I look over the shoulder of my twin to see the Hammer and Sickle of the old Russian flag. It hits me that I'm looking at one of the space stations that was active and running before Praimfaya and it's possible that if anyone was still living on the station there might be survivors. I draw my blade and slowly circle the station looking for a way in and find a huge gaping hole where it must have clipped a rocky outcropping on the way down and tore open the hull. Stepping inside I'm in the remains of an outer hallway. I'm surprised as it's remarkably intact, the only signs of damage are the busted pipes and exposed wiring. I get to an intersection when the wolf starts to growl and I see why but it's useless to warn myself I'm just a spectator so I watch as soldiers come out from the darkness with guns trained on me. The scene starts to dark and the last thing I hear is me sighing and saying... 

"He's going to kill me." 

I sit bolt upright in bed and Leidolf is already awake and reaching for me. 

"You alright, you sounded like you were having one heck of a dream." 

My mind spins in circles until one thing comes through loud and clear. 

"The Thirteenth clan is coming." 

"What?" 

"One of the stations is going to lose orbit and crash in Ice Nation territory." 

"Are you talking about Skaikru?" 

"Yes, I had a vision I was standing on a hill overlooking this valley and I watched the station crash into a mountain." 

"How do you know it was in Ice Nation?" 

"There was pretty deep snow for one and judging from the terrain it was way up north. Luna's saddle had Azgedan markings on it, so did the blade I had strapped to my leg. Oh and there was a shifter with me, dark brown with blonde highlights." 

Leidolf's head jerks back. 

"I take it you know the wolf?" 

"It sounds like Echo, one of Prince Roan's guard." 

"Ok why would one of Roan's guard be accompanying me into the wilderness?" 

Leidolf shrugs. 

"Maybe it's a diplomatic thing?" 

I look over at him and for the first time I get the sense he's hiding something from me. Before I can ask about it he's barreling ahead with the questions. 

"So what else did you see?" 

I decide to let his deceit go for now and think back to everything I witnessed. 

"There was a mountain, although I don't know if I'd call it that, it was more like a really long ridge. I do remember seeing what looked like a tower on top, possibly an old fire watch." 

"Sounds like Ishpatina Ridge over in Ontario. It's about three days ride north of Stronghold." 

"I saw the Hammer and Sickle of old Russia on the outer hull, too bad I don't have access to my books I could have found out which station that was." 

"We can take a look in the market when we get to Polis, maybe we'll get lucky." 

"There was something else weird." 

"What?" 

"I asked Echo if my husband had sent her." 

"Well congrats are in order I guess." 

"Shof up. I did call him an overprotective ass which implies some sort of fondness so clearly I don't hate whoever it is."  

He grins. 

"That's encouraging." 

In my head I can't help but wonder if it's Leidolf I was talking about or Roan or even someone I had yet to meet. The whole thing was freaking me out.  

"There's something else, there were survivors. They came out with guns." 

"Well then we just have to send people with you." 

"Yeah but if it's a vision of the future then it's going to happen that way no matter what we do. I'm going to end up there alone or just with Echo." 

"You realize this is probably what Grandfather Thunder marked you for." 

"Ugh, well he can take it back thank you I have no wish to be Cassandra." 

"Who is Cassandra?" 

"The daughter of the King and Queen of Troy. The God Apollo fell in love with her and gifted her with the ability to prophesize the future. When she spurned him he left her with the gift but cursed her so that no one would ever believe her prophecies. She's the one who foresaw the destruction of Troy." 

"If it makes you feel better I'll always believe you." 

I smile. 

"Thank you." 

"So do we know approximately what time of year this was?" 

"It was close to sunrise, the Seven Sisters were low in the southern sky." 

"Sounds like early winter." 

"We don't know if it's this year or next year or five years down the line. Although, the future is already set so I'm gonna be in the right place at the right time regardless. You know I can't believe the people of Skaikru survived all these years." 

"If we help them out maybe we can benefit from their technology." 

"Or they could decide to attack us and take our stuff." 

"There's that possibility." 

I look out the window and see the sun is starting to peek out.  

"Nice of Grandfather Thunder to send me the vision right when it's time to get up anyway." 

"Yes we wouldn't want to interrupt your beauty sleep." 

I open my mouth for a smart remark but look over and see Leidolf is lying there with a smirk on his face, the sheet pulled down to just below his nipples. The cotton is pretty thin and my eyes are drawn to the clear outlines of his body, I remember him being naked from last night. His smirk gets wider when he sees my face turn pink. It's really unfair that he can use his wolf nose to read me like a book, I can think of only one way to wipe that insufferable look off his face. I smile seductively and lean over to plant a kiss on his lips while my hand wanders down his chest under the sheet, my fingers just brushing his nipples and sliding over his ribs. He grabs my hand before the sheet can get pushed all the way down, wraps his other arm around my waist and rolls us over so he's on top. I can feel the hot length of him right up against my thigh and it makes me involuntarily squeeze them together. He braces himself above me and traps my hands under my chin. This close to his face I can see his facial scars in the dawn light and something about them triggers a memory but then his next words derail it before I can chase it down. 

"I know you're a virgin Siobhan, I'm not doing this here." 

"Wait what?" 

"I am not bedding you for your first time in a rundown dormitory that barely has a proper bed." 

I huff in aggravation. 

"I'm not some fairytale princess who needs silk sheets and a feather bed Leidolf." 

"I know just humor me." 

I drop my head back onto the pillow. 

"Fine." 

I roll out of bed and turn my back so he can make himself decent while I throw my clothes back on. Even though it annoys me and part of me really wants to climb him like a tree his consideration makes me feel kinda warm and fuzzy.  

It doesn't take us long to pack our stuff up and go grab the horses. About a half an hour passes and we're back on the sixty four, munching on breakfast and lost in conversation. At Huntington he gets a message from his father telling him to continue to Polis and that they are gathering their council to suss out a plan to deal with Nia. After Morehead Leidolf sleeps in his fur, I smile and pretend I haven't the faintest idea why. It's when we get to Charleston he gets the order to return home. Queen Nia has begun to make her move at home and King Theo has taken a turn for the worse. It's time to make the decision to either put Theo's bastard child on the throne or Roan. It's upsetting but I understand it has to be done.  

That morning we are standing on the outskirts of Charleston, getting ready to part ways when he looks north to the woods and gestures with his hand. From between the trees comes a gray wolf.  

"This is Brego, he's from the First Pack of Azgeda. They've ruled the territory around Stronghold since the Norse first laid down roots in Canada. His Alpha sent him to shadow me while I was down here." 

"He's been following us this whole time?" 

"Yes." 

I kneel down holding out my hand and he comes over and tucks his head up under my palm demanding an ear scratch.  I laugh. 

"He's pushy, must have been hanging around with you too much." 

Leidolf leans down and pulls my hair. 

"Hey!" 

He laughs and kneels down next to me looking at the wolf.  

"Guard her kom your sonraun Brego." 

The wolf just nods his head and sits down next to my feet. 

"Well that's awfully serious, I don't expect him to give his life." 

He slides his hand around to the back of my neck and lays a lingering kiss on my forehead.  

"He will guard you as I would." 

I look at him and for a moment this thing between us feels a lot more serious, like there's a whole layer to it I'm missing. It doesn't scare me, more like anticipation. I  know he's keeping something from me and I'm getting the idea I should be remembering something but ever since Morehead it's like it starts to come into focus and then disappears. This along with the vision from Thunder makes me wonder what is ahead for me. I never thought about my future before this, working with the horses, sparring with Aiden, my life was simple. Now it feels like I'm standing on a precipice and there's this whole other destiny waiting. Something bigger than the mess with Lexa and Queen Nia. I'm pulled from my thoughts when Leidolf cradles my face between his palms and kisses me. For a minute I am happy to just be in the moment, reveling in the feel of his soft lips coaxing my mouth open, the heat of his body against mine, his thumbs gently stroking my cheekbones. Unfortunately we both have jobs to do and after a minute I reluctantly pull away. 

"You should get going and so should I." 

"I guess we'll have to postpone finding you a bathtub." 

I laugh. 

"I'm holding you to that you know." 

He smiles. 

"I know." 

"Be careful." 

"You too." 

And with that he his mounts up and heads north. I watch him till he disappears between the trees and then Brego and I had east toward Polis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to follow their progress along route 64, go on Google map and start at Claiborne Farm on Winchester Road in Kentucky which is Siobhan's home and is an actual working horse breeder today that is famous for producing several derby winners most notably Triple Crown champion Secretariat.  
> Morehead is an actual town with a university and a large lake.  
> The term aviãrius means bird keeper. Since the world of the 100 no longer has cellphones I would imagine they would revert to sending messages by pigeon which people still do today.  
> Ishpatina Ridge is an actual mountain ridge about a days drive north of Toronto which is where I have decided the capitol of the Ice Nation resides. In a later chapter you will be introduced to Stronghold which is their seat of power. If you want a sneak peak at what King Roan's castle looks like look up Casa Loma, it's an actual castle in Toronto.  
> "Guard her kom your sonraun Brego." Guard her with your life Brego.  
> The Seven Sisters are the Pleiades. They are bright enough that you can see it with the naked eye. It's a cluster of 7 stars in the Taurus constellation.


	15. Adventures in Polis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan reaches Polis and the real adventure starts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you all know, Roan is about to make an appearance and we are coming into the home stretch for smut. You have all been patiently waiting and trust me the sex scene when it comes will be GRAPHIC.

A week later I’m coming up on Trikru territory in the George Washington and Jefferson National Forest. Having Brego with me means I have to stay clear of civilization, I can’t risk anyone attacking him. Between here and Charleston was easy, I just camped out but getting through the national forest is going to be tricky. Trikru’s been in conflict on and off with their southern neighbors Trishanakru for a while so the southern end of the woods is pretty heavy with their scouts, if I get caught I’m gonna have to do some fancy talking. My clans neutral position and refusal to get involved in any wars has not endeared us to them, it makes me wonder why my father is trying to entice Indra to marry her son off to Fiona. If I get dragged in front of her she’ll recognize me immediately. She might not send word to my father, she wouldn’t want to do him any favors. Then again, if she was looking to get my father to owe her she might. My biggest worry is if I’m forced to tell Indra what’s going on with Nia and my father to explain my presence in their territory, if that happens she could call for war with my people and Azgeda. Ugh, this is why I’d rather work in the stable, the problems are simpler and you don’t have to deal with idiocy.  

Brego and I manage to ride the border between Trishankru and Trikru for most of the trip through but there are some close calls. After a good six hours of scrupulously picking my way through I pass the crooked sign for Lexington and breathe a sigh of relief, I’m almost through. Of course, that’s when everything goes wrong.  

I hear the high pitch of an arrows passage just before one lodges itself in the tree right next to my head. There's no way I can do with these guys what I did to the splita at Miller's cliff, I'm not that familiar with the landscape and I can't pinpoint exactly where the arrow came from, they aren't chasing me on horseback. I drop the reins and put my hands up. Brego follows my lead and sits down quietly next to Luna's front hooves. 

"Keep your hands up." 

"I have a dog with me don't shoot, he won't attack." 

I hear Brego snuff in offense. 

"Shush." 

Four Trikru scouts come out from the trees and surround me. Two of them have their arrows nocked and ready to release, the third already has rope out and the fourth approaches on horseback, clearly the one in charge. 

He looks down on me from a chestnut bay I recognize as being from Blackbeard's bloodline and I almost laugh out loud. 

"You're trespassing on Trikru territory." 

"I apologize, I'm on my way to Polis. I have a sick friend in need and I need to get there quickly or I would have gone around." 

I'm hoping he buys my story and just lets me go on my way. The seconds tick by excruciatingly slow while he stares at me with narrowed eyes and then comes to a decision.  

"Bind her, we will take her to the council and they will decide her fate." 

No such luck then. Why do the Trikru have to be so damn suspicious? 

"Dismount your horse woman." 

I sigh and slide out of the saddle. As soon as the one with the rope approaches to tie my hands Brego shows a bit of teeth. 

"Brego chil yo daun!" 

After a moment he backs off. 

"He's just being protective, there's no need to hurt him." 

"If he does any more than show his teeth I'm getting myself a new fur cloak got it?" 

"Got it." 

One of the men with a bow hangs it back on his saddle and goes to take Luna's reins.  

"I wouldn't, she'll take your hand off." 

The one in charge speaks through gritted teeth. 

"Well then take care of it or we leave her for the wolves." 

I go over and take her reins, stroking her neck and whispering nonsense. After a minute she shakes her head and blows out a heavy snort before settling down and I hand her reins to the other scout. They bind my hands and the one on horseback swings down from the saddle and gestures with his hand. 

"Up you go." 

"You want me riding pillion in front?" 

"It's that or you can get tied to the saddle horn and walk behind my horse, we have plenty of rope." 

"Fine." 

I mount up on his horse and feel him swing up into the saddle behind me. We head off with Brego and Luna following behind.  

Things have just gotten difficult. 

Twenty minutes later we come to what used to be an old log cabin. From the looks of it, it was meant for tourists visiting the park. I can see other cabins peeking through the trees and the silver sparkle of a river nearby. There's quite a few Trikru warriors posted here and they're all giving me the hairy eyeball. They probably think I'm Trishanakru. I summarily get yanked off the horse rather rudely and marched inside. I know Brego is going to insist on following me in and rather than let the poor door guard lose a finger I speak up. 

"He's not going to stay outside. You may eventually put him down but you're gonna be bloody by the time you do, I suggest you let him go with me." 

I look over at the scout that brought me in. 

"Fine let the dog come with her." 

I step into the dimness of the cabin and it takes a minute for my eyes to adjust. It's a nice one, all wood and stone. There's a hearth the size of an entire wall, an old tin farmhouse sink, a real wood burning stove and the remnants of a ceiling light made from the antlers of a sixteen point buck. I can see a loft above the main room and doorways leading to another two rooms.  

"Nice place you got here, when's the woodcarving class start?" 

One of the other guards raises his hand like he's about to hit me and he hears Brego growl. It's a sound that makes me thankful the wolf is on my side. It's the kind of sound that induces nightmares. I look over and Brego is nothing but teeth, the hair on his ruff sticking straight up and his eyes blazing a bright yellow. The asshole thinks better of his inclination and drops his hand, backing away from me. 

I look at him. 

"Smart choice." 

Brego takes a seat at my feet and from the loft comes a familiar cultured voice. 

"Lady Siobhan I can't say this is a welcome surprise." 

I close my eyes and drop my head forward. Indra. Just my luck. 

"Indra." 

She comes down the stairs and takes a seat at the kitchen table. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"Like I told your scouts I'm headed to Polis to see a sick friend. They don't have much time or I would have gone around instead." 

"Spare me the tall tales, we've already heard the reports of the attacks on your people and that my clan is supposedly responsible." 

"Interesting, looks like we have a pest problem in Bluegrass." 

"Oh no, this information comes from a very reputable source, one I'm sure you know very well." 

"What are you talking about?" 

From out of one of the bedrooms walks Fiona. 

"Fiona what the hell?" 

"Siobhan." 

"I don't understand." 

"I will be marrying Holden Siobhan, it's just that father won't have anything to do with it nor will he benefit." 

I look over at Indra. 

"I figured you hated us, why would you let your son marry my sister?" 

"I am not pleased about it however, my son has made it clear it is his decision to make." 

Fiona comes over and cuts the binding on my hands. 

"I met Holden the year we went to the conclave Siobhan, we've been seeing each other in secret since then. I was happy when I found out father intended to make an offer of a marriage alliance but then I heard about the attacks by Trikru and I came to see Holden to find out the truth. I won't let father frame Holden's clan for this." 

"Why didn't you tell me about any of this?" 

"We'll we haven't gotten along in awhile and when I got up the nerve to come talk to you about it you had run off." 

No reason to hide what I know now. I turn to one of the guards. 

"Would you bring me my pack from my horse please?" 

He looks over at Indra and she nods. 

"It's a lot worse than that Fiona, I didn't just leave because I didn't want to get married." 

I walk over and drop myself into a chair at the table. 

"The attacks were planned and executed by Queen Nia and our father." 

Both Indra and Fiona look over at me, Indra looking as if she expected nothing less and my sister with utter shock. 

Chieftan Cumhail and Queen Nia plan on jointly ruling the whole ball of wax. The idea was to attack people in Bluegrass using Azgedan splita's disguised as Trikru. They were promised absolution posthumously if they did this." 

I look at Indra. 

"It's no secret your clan harbors hatred for ours because of the information we had about the Trishanakru attack five years ago." 

"Yes and you chose not to share it. Do you have any idea how many of our people we lost that night?" 

"I'm sorry Indra, you may think it was cowardly but my father refused to risk his own people, even at the cost of yours. The point is it wasn't a stretch to say that Trikru would want revenge. Once your clan was framed Lexa would be forced to condemn you for the attacks. It would be enough to weaken her position that she could be challenged by another nightblood." 

Indra's lip curls in derision. 

"There aren't any nightbloods but Lexa right now." 

"There is one actually. Ontari. Queen Nia has had her tucked away for years apparently. It is Ontari's task to take Lexa's place as Commander. Trikru gets shamed and all the clans come under the rule of Bluegrass and Azgeda." 

Utter and complete silence answers my speech. 

"Father will be executed for this!" 

"I'm aware of that Fiona." 

Indra folds her arms over her chest and looks at me keenly. 

"Why are you doing this?" 

"I may agree with my father's decision to keep our clan out of conflicts but this is wrong. I will not see my clan made stronger at the cost of our honor." 

The scout comes back just then and drops my pack on the kitchen table. 

"I overheard father discussing his plans with Marcus and Alden. I know there was a third, Robert is the world's biggest sycophant so it was probably him. After the attack I was suspicious of the reports it was Trikru that did it. I went with Aiden to see the body, I found it interesting father chose to burn it. He came up with a pretty good excuse for it but it was clear he was hiding the attackers true origin." 

I reach into the pack and bring out the token. 

"We found this in the ashes." 

Indra clenches her fists. 

"That's an Azgedan birth token." 

"Father had to burn the body because the facial scars would have made it obvious the attackers weren't Trikru but he forgot about the birth token that all Azgeden warriors carry with them." 

"So what were you planning?" 

"I was headed to Polis to see the Commander. She needs to be warned, the captain of one of our legions is headed there along with the father of the first victim. They intend to lodge a formal complaint and push for a challenge." 

"Then they will be passing through here." 

"Probably." 

"They are trespassing as you were and will be treated accordingly." 

"Please let them through. My father indicated Nia has posted collaborators in Polis to make sure things go the way they want. I'm hoping Emmett will lead me to them." 

"Very well. The fact that both you and your sister have shown yourselves willing to defend Trikru innocence spares you from war with us however, the Ice Nation gets no such consideration." 

"If you can spare our clan for the actions we take in this then you can do the same for Azgeda. The only one's who should be held culpable are the one's who committed the treachery which is Nia and those who follow her. I don't want to see any Trikru condemned for something they are innocent of, the same goes for the Ice Nation." 

Indra looks me up and down considering. 

"Fine, Trikru won't go to war but if this alleged rebel faction in Azgeda can't deal with Nia we will take action." 

I nod in acceptance. 

"That's all I can ask." 

Indra gestures to one of her men. 

"Bring me a safe passage token and a piece of paper." 

While we're waiting I turn to Fiona. 

"Are you alright with this?" 

"I can't believe father would do this." 

"Neither do I. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to put anyone else at risk. Aiden is the only one who knows what's going on." 

"So what happens now?" 

"I go to Polis, warn Lexa and halt the challenge before it is issued. Dealing with father will be more difficult, we have no way of knowing if any of the soldiers other than Emmett support my father's ambitions. The only thing I do know is which advisors we cannot trust. You have to go back home and tell Conall what's going on, meet up with Aiden and give him the message that I'll be in Polis within the next two weeks. I hope it doesn't come down to a fight with father but it may. Until I know our aviãrius can be trusted I'll send word to Lexington." 

Fiona looks rattled and I can't say I blame her. I always knew my father was a real piece of work but I had no idea of the depths of his ambition. I once perused a book on a game called poker that people used to play before Praimfaya. I remember reading the key strategy to winning was "playing your cards close to the vest" and I have a feeling that's exactly what he's done for some time now.  

Indra's warrior returns with a medallion of the Trikru symbol forged from repurposed wrought iron and engraved with my name and a folded note. 

"This will give you safe passage through our territory and the note will get you in to see the Commander." 

"Thank you Indra." 

"Good luck Lady Siobhan." 

I grab my pack and head on out of the cabin, Fiona and Brego following me. 

"Siobhan I don't want Trikru ending up at war with Bluegrass." 

"Look I'll do what I can in Polis but you need to help me out here and please, I'm counting on you to make sure Conall doesn't do something rash when he finds out what's going on you know how he is. " 

"Yeah I know, he's an idealist. He'll either refuse to believe it or want to play the great hero." 

I smile. Yeah that's my brother. When we were kids it was always Conall who led our little band of heroic warriors. When Fiona and I first said we wanted to make believe pirates he would have none of it. Pirates were bad guys who did bad things. Of course Fiona and I got him hooked on Treasure Island and he eventually caved and but his heart was always in saving the world. I give Fiona a tight hug trying to hold back tears. I can tell by her sniffling she is too.  

"Be careful Siobhan." 

"You too Fiona." 

Indra's scout brings Luna over and I mount up and head back to the highway, waving at her till I can't see the cabin through the trees anymore. 

The token makes things so much easier traversing through Trikru land and I make good time. I end up losing a day though when a bad storm comes rolling in and I'm forced to take shelter in the entrance of an old abandoned mine. In a vestibule just inside I find some of the workers packs. They're moth eaten and threadbare but the stuff inside them is in pretty good shape. I find a USGS topography map of the area with the tunnels marked off and a Louis Pasteur book. I get really lucky when I find a discarded canvas tool belt by the old lift. A hammer, wrench, screwdriver, screws, I'm surprised no one has found it already. I keep digging and I finally get to see what those little metal boxes with the wheel that sparks are for and right away I think of Bernal and how excited he would be to see it. Then I'm reminded of what happened and that confronting him is not going to be pleasant, I'm hoping he's not so far gone he doesn't listen to reason. I find some stuff I can use for trade in Polis and settle in for the night after a quick dinner. It's still raining in the morning so I have no choice but to wait it out. I don't end up getting out of there till mid afternoon, it's a good thing Emmett will probably get held up by Indra's scouts. 

Another two weeks roll by and I make it into Polis. I try to leave Brego on the outskirts but it's no use, he won't leave my side.  

"Look if you're going to come with me you have to look less scary you realize." 

Brego snorts. 

"You have to look like a dog, that means I gotta collar you." 

He doesn't fight me when I take some spare rope and put together a makeshift leash. Ten minutes later we're passing through the city gates and are hit with a wave of noise. I'm used to things being a bit more sedate back home, I had forgotten how crowded it is here. The market is packed with people haggling over all manner of things. Most of it is produce, handcrafted items and such but there's still a brisk business trading items from the old world. We have to dodge merchants bringing in goods, soldiers on patrol, a few feral dogs that go about their own way after sizing up Brego who doesn't look the least bit pleased and shows it.  

"You insisted on coming Brego." 

He just huffs at me. I immediately head for the tower, anxious to get in to see the Commander. Needless to say Brego and I get a lot of looks but thankfully no one gives us any trouble. I get a good look at the security at the tower and am thankful I got captured by Trikru scouts. Without the token it would have been problematic getting in and even with it I get side eyed. My first encounter is with a burly guard on the first floor by the bailey entrance. 

"What is it you want?" 

"I seek an audience with the Commander, tell her it is Lady Siobhan of Bluegrass." 

I hand him the token. 

"The Commander is busy in council come back later." 

"I bring a message from Indra, it's important." 

He looks at me suspiciously and I show him Indra's seal on the note. He sighs like I'm being horribly inconvenient to him. 

"Wait here." 

He goes around the corner, presumably to pass the message along and I'm left waiting in the entryway. I can't help fidgeting, now that I'm here the note feels like a ten pound weight. There are spies here who if they knew what I was about to tell Lexa wouldn't hesitate to kill me. Not to mention at the end of all this is my father's execution, there's no other outcome for it. My life will be altered irrevocably. My brother will become Chieftain of Bluegrass, my sister will marry Holden and thus secure an alliance with Trikru and I will eventually have to deal with Roan. Then there's Leidolf, I can't deny how I feel for him. Now that he's not here it's like I'm missing a part of me and that scares the hell out of me. I just met him, how could I possibly feel this way already? I don't believe in soulmates and fairy tales and love at first sight, it makes no sense. Then of course there's the nagging feeling he's keeping something from me, that I'm standing just on the other side of some weird revelation. I've almost bitten one of my fingernails to the quick when the guard finally returns with an advisor from Azgeda I vaguely remember seeing at the Conclave. I note that Brego doesn't seem to like him. 

"Lady Siobhan welcome to Polis I'm Tommen. I'll take you to the council chambers but you'll have to leave your weapons here at the guard post, I'm afraid no one is allowed armed in the tower except security and personal escorts." 

I look over at the guard and he's holding out his hand. I really don't want to have to do this but it seems I have no choice so I hand over my sword. Of course they don't have to know about the dagger I have tucked in my boot and if they consider my sling worthless without access to rocks I'm not going to disavow them of that notion.  

Tommen takes me to the lift and we start the long process of riding up to the top floor. I'm a nervous wreck and I'm hoping he doesn't speak to me but no such luck. 

"That's a lovely animal My Lady, very well behaved." 

"Thank you." 

I look down at Brego who's leaning right up against my leg with his ears flattened. 

"So what message do you bring to the Commander?" 

"Something I'd rather give to her alone, no offense." 

"I find it odd that you would be delivering a message from Indra considering your history with her clan." 

"Yes well, stranger things have happened." 

"Trikru attacked your home and brutally killed eight people and yet here you are serving as Indra's lackey." 

I don't say a thing. 

"Word is that your sister has been seen in Trikru territory as well." 

Now the alarms are really going off in my head and I'm subtly shifting my center of gravity just in case he decides to do something.  

"I don't think marriage is what you're here for Lady Siobhan." 

Either Tommen is rabidly loyal to Nia and just following his natural inclinations or he's one of the spies. It doesn't matter which, this message is getting to Lexa come hell or high water. I'm guessing he won't attack in the confines of the lift, not with Brego in here with us. He'll wait till the door opens and try and separate me from the wolf if he's smart.  

As soon as the door opens I kick him in the knee and make a break for it, Brego right behind me. I have no idea which direction the council chambers is and I don't know if Tommen has any friends up here so I keep moving. Just as I'm coming to a bend I hear Brego yelp in pain and turn around to see he's taken a bolt to the shoulder. "Brego!" I immediately start for him and see Tommen approaching with a crossbow in hand and a nasty smirk on his face.  

"What happened to no weapons in the tower?" 

He smiles.  

"Ah ah ah, you will come quietly Lady Siobhan and I'll leave word with security downstairs to take care of your little friend." 

I hear a set of steps behind me and look back to see a guard approaching with a length of rope.  

"I get cooperation, I don't put another bolt into the wolf." 

The logical part of me is screaming that Brego is not worth the lives of all those who will suffer if I don't get this message to Lexa and I should strike but I can't do it. I put my hands behind my back and allow the guard to tie them together. 

"Don't look so upset my dear, when this is done you'll be the wife of the future king of the Ice Nation and your birth clan will stand by ours at the head of a great empire." 

"And I suppose you'll get a nice position of authority in this new empire?" 

He laughs. 

"Of course. " 

The guard finishes binding my hands and searches me finding the letter and the token. Tommen unfolds it and reads it. 

"Interesting, looks like we weren’t as careful covering things up as we thought. Doesn't matter now, you're too late to stop this." 

We start to head back towards the lift, Tommen strolling next to me with his hands folded behind his back as if he were discussing matters of diplomacy and not kidnapping me. I'm tuning out his delusional blather and thinking strategy. They'll want to avoid the guard post downstairs which means they'll probably stop a floor above and take me out another way so I can't let them get me into the lift. I can't fight them since my hands are tied but, if I make enough racket it'll bring company. The hallway is carpeted and curves to the shape of the building so any noise I make there will get swallowed. The foyer for the lift however has marble floors and the shaft is hollow concrete which echoes.  

I wait till we get to the lift and Tommen pulls the door open before I swing my foot into the table next to it knocking it over. There's a vase sitting on top and when it hits the marble it makes a terrifically loud noise. I follow it up with the most ear piercing scream I can muster and it bounces off the walls all the way down to the first floor. I take advantage of their momentary shock to drop onto my back and loop my hands behind my ankles to bring them around to my front. Grabbing a shard from the shattered vase I roll to my feet. I'm hoping to stave them off long enough for the patrol to get here so I keep backing up, slashing with the shard. Lucky for me both of them are hampered by the fact that they obviously don't want to harm me.  

The guard has managed to close in grabbing my arm and I'm about to twist with it and break his wrist when a strident voice barks out. 

"STAND DOWN!" 

I look up and see eight guards marked with the badges of service to the Commander. Before I can even say anything Tommen is already concocting a story about me attacking him. I don’t even pay attention and dodge the guards to run back down the hall to Brego. Kneeling down next to him I am relieved to see the bolt passed all the way through and there's not much bleeding. I break off the head and slide the halves out before I'm grabbed by the security patrol and we are all escorted towards the doors to the council chambers to the sounds of Tommen still complaining. I look back and see Brego try and get to his feet and plead with one of the guards.  

"Please help him, I beg you. He was only trying to protect me." 

I am so upset about Brego getting hurt for me I am on the edge of tears and the guard gets uncomfortable when he sees them about spill down my cheeks. I shamelessly take advantage and push out my lower lip like I am about to start flat out bawling. He throws his hands out like he's afraid my tears are some contagious disease he can catch. 

"I will take him to the healer and see what can be done for him." 

"Thank you." 

I look down the hallway. 

"Brego let the guard take you to be looked at." 

Brego huffs and sits back down and the guard blinks in shock before heading down the hallway to help him.  

The doors to the council chamber open and we are ushered in without ceremony. I almost have to laugh because here's Tommen missing part of a sleeve where I caught it with the shard, his accomplice glaring at me and limping where I kicked him after hitting the floor and me, muddy boots, dirty clothes and my hair in tangles. I look around the chamber and see that Lexa is not alone, she must have been meeting with some of her advisors when the chaos erupted. 

Titus who I recognize from the Conclave steps forward. 

"What is going on?" 

I'm about to open my mouth when Tommen launches into this whole spiel about how I lured him upstairs and ordered my dog to attack him. He never mentions why exactly I would do that but it doesn't seem to matter, he has an audience and if he can get me in trouble then it'll be easier to drag me home. I am aware that losing my temper will only hurt my cause so I hold my tongue and barely keep from rolling my eyes. The other guard is questioned and gives much the same story. Titus then turns to me. 

"Do you have anything to say for yourself Lady Siobhan?" 

"I was here to deliver a message to the Commander, they attacked me. Check his pockets, he took the letter I was supposed to deliver and the safe passage token given to me." 

Under Tommen's protests one of the tower guards rifles through his pockets and comes up with the letter and token handing them to Titus. 

"It does appear both the letter and the token belong to the Lady Siobhan and both were granted to her by Indra." 

Lexa raises an eyebrow. 

"It's interesting my general would entrust this message to you and grant you safe passage." 

"Well, read the letter and you'll see why." 

Titus hands her the letter and I watch as her eyebrows creep up to her hairline.  

"Queen Nia is awfully bold." 

"One of our legion commanders is on his way here to make a complaint and issue a formal challenge." 

"Why are you warning me Lady Siobhan, you know this will end in your fathers death." 

"Like I told Indra, I won't have my clan grow stronger at the cost of our honor." 

"It says here you asked her to not to go to war with Azgeda." 

"Yes, there's already a rebellion in Azgeda, they wish to see Nia dethroned. I see no reason to punish a whole nation for the actions of its Queen." 

"I agree." 

Lexa looks at her guards. 

"Take Tommen and his accomplice and lock them up, we will decide what to do with them later." 

"I should mention there could be other spies Commander." 

Lexa just nods and turns to the balcony. 

"Lady Siobhan a word in private?" 

"Of course." 

We step outside into the sunshine and Lexa leans against the stone railing looking me over. 

"Your father knew what Trishanakru was planning and he let it happen." 

I close my eyes and shake my head. 

"Look he was damned either way. At the time they were the bigger threat so he made the choice not to say anything. Trishanakru actually offered an alliance but my father said no. Our clan sells to everyone and takes no sides, it's a policy I agree with. We have grown strong precisely because we don't waste our energy on pointless conflicts." 

"And yet your father has clearly chosen a side this time." 

"All I can figure is Nia must have promised something significant to get my father to break tradition." 

"Your brother will be the next chieftain, what does he think of the policy?" 

"He agrees with me. How much better off do you think we could be if we stopped fighting amongst ourselves? I don't wanna just survive Commander, I want us to rebuild." 

Lexa gives me this look I can't quite interpret. 

"What?" 

I hear Titus speak up behind us. 

"Looks like the Commander has found a kindred spirit. I apologize for disturbing you but Tommen is requesting a meeting with his ambassador." 

Lexa rolls her eyes. 

"I bet he is. Very well send the ambassador to me, I'd like to apprise him of the situation before he meets with Tommen." 

"Yes Commander." 

Titus bows and heads back inside. 

"Siobhan, I want what you want, to see our clans grow stronger together. We have ambassadors who represent each clan but I want more. I plan on expanding the trade between clans and suggesting we create a nationwide army composed of warriors from every clan." 

"That's ambitious." 

"It'll be worth it if it works. I want each warrior to serve two years in the army and then they are free to return to home. I'm hoping the service will foster bonds of friendship between the different clans." 

"I like it, what can I do to help?" 

"Don't you have a crown in your future?" 

I grimace. 

"Mmmmm." 

She cocks her head. 

"It doesn't sound as if it appeals to you." 

"It doesn't, if he wanted to marry me he could have damn well asked ME." 

"He was just abiding by the traditions of your clan you know." 

I sigh. 

"Yeah I know, maybe part of it was me just being contrary because it was something my father wanted." 

She laughs. 

"Well, since you're not planning on being a princess......" 

She winks at me. 

"I’d like you to serve as an advisor on my council." 

"Uh wow, can I think about it?" 

"Of course. I will call the ambassadors and convene council tomorrow to inform them of what happened, as witness to the treason your testimony will be needed. I know you wish to return home to deal with your father but I need you here." 

"Yes Commander." 

"Don't worry, your brother will have the support of Trikru in bringing your father in you have my word." 

"Thank you." 

"Titus will see to it you are given quarters here in the tower." 

I nod and she heads back inside to continue her meeting, at the door Titus is already waiting to escort me from the chambers. 

The guest quarters he brings me to must have been truly beautiful back before Praimfaya. The floor is glossy marble the color of eggshells and shot through with delicate gold veins. It feels wrong to walk on it with shoes so I slip off my boots and find the floor pleasantly warm from the sun streaming in through the bank of windows. There's a bed big enough for four with a dark oaken headboard that looks as if its been well cared for through the years. Matching side tables and a footboard complete the set. A sunken sitting room off to the left is filled with comfortable looking couches and there's even a shelf filled with books. I'm curious to see the rest of the room but I want to go check on Brego first.  

I take the lift downstairs and ask for directions to the infirmary. When I get there I am relieved to see Brego sitting up on a table with a healer just finishing up laying a poultice on his wound and wrapping his shoulder. As soon as Brego sees me he starts whining and huffing. 

I laugh and come over, scratching him behind an ear. 

"I'm fine Brego." 

The healer smiles. 

"Good thing you're here, this one was getting ready to run off and try and find you." 

"Thank you for taking care of him." 

"What happened, the guard that brought him down didn't say much." 

I wasn't certain if Lexa wanted anyone outside the council to know what was happening so I gave him a plausible lie. 

"Someone upstairs thought he was a threat and shot him." 

The healer shakes his head in digust. 

"Well he's certainly been no threat to me." 

He lifts Brego off the table and sets him down. 

"Just check the wound every night and if it looks like it's getting infected come see me." 

"Thank you again." 

Brego and I head out into the hallway. 

"Well, I'm hungry lets see if we can find something to eat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Brego chil yo daun!" = Brego stand down!  
> Riding pillion means riding behind a person on a horse or a motorcycle.


	16. Sex, lies and really annoying people Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my the truth comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUH DUH DUH!!!!!!!!  
> (ʘ_ʘ)  
> and now for our sponsors.

The next morning I’m sitting outside the council chamber doors waiting to be called in. Brego is sitting next to me because he refused to stay behind in the room. He's got a bit of a limp but otherwise he's alright thank the gods. Part of me is kind of glad he insisted on coming. My stomach is in knots, I’m about to testify in front of the council and the ambassadors of all twelve clans. Lexa warned me the ambassador from Azgeda is a zealous nationalist who will likely think this whole thing is a conspiracy to weaken the Ice Nation. Whether that’s because he’s cognizant of Nia’s treachery and is just putting on a show or he’s clueless we don’t know. Either way she said be ready for chaos. 

Last night after dinner I sent word to Fiona and let her know I made it safely to Polis and am testifying in the morning. I feel bad putting her in this position, if I could trade places with her I would. She shouldn’t have to confront father and neither should Conall. All I can do is cross my fingers and hope for the best but not knowing what’s going on is upsetting. Worse still is being in the dark about the North. Leidolf said he would give Roan the benefit of the doubt but he’s not the only one making the decisions. What if they ultimately decide that the bastard should have the throne? What if they get captured by Nia? Before I make myself crazy wondering the door opens and I turn to see Titus poking his head out. 

“They are ready for you Lady Siobhan.” 

I get up and follow him in. Looking around there’s the twelve ambassadors along with their security plus the Commanders council of six. Titus guides me to the podium next to Lexa’s throne and surprises me when he squeezes my shoulder in encouragement. Brego sits pressed up against the back of my knees and I take comfort in his presence. 

Lexa stands up. 

"Ambassadors and council members, we are here to listen to testimony regarding treasonous actions perpetrated by Cumhail Chieftain of Bluegrass and Nia Queen of Azgeda. Lady Siobhan the floor is yours." 

I take a deep breath and try and stop my hands from shaking. Frankly I’d rather be facing the splita out there in the woods alone than standing here in front of these people. 

“I'm here because a representative from my clan intends to lodge a false accusation against Trikru and demand a challenge to replace Lexa as Commander." 

Immediately the ambassadors all start talking over one another and rapidly firing questions at me. I notice they are taking sides and pointing fingers already. Lexa has her work cut out for her if she intends to make the Coalition more than just a façade. I'm standing there pinching the bridge of my nose when Lexa's voice rings out. 

"SILENCE!" 

Every last mouth snaps shut. 

"Can we allow the Lady to give her testimony before we pass judgement or barrage her with questions?" 

Lexa looks at them all like it's not actually a question. Some of them have the grace to look ashamed. 

"Thank you, Siobhan please continue." 

"I overheard my father and his advisors talking. My father said when the people find out about Trikru's crimes the Commander will have no choice but to condemn her own clan and that it will destabilize her leadership enough that she can be challenged." 

Trishanakru's ambassador looks perplexed. 

"How can there be a challenge the Commander is currently the only nightblood." 

"Queen Nia has been hiding one ambassador, her name is Ontari." 

The ambassador for Azegda folds his arms and smirks. 

"So then the only crime my clan has committed has been a failure to report the birth of a nightblood." 

Lexa speaks up. 

"There's more ambassador." 

He narrows his eyes at me. 

"My father's advisor Marcus reported he had received word from Queen Nia that the warriors she chose were desperate to cleanse their honor. They mentioned spies put in place here in Polis and a trail left for my brother to follow. Two days later there was an attack on the outlying farms in Bluegrass and they said Trikru did it." 

Again the Azgedan ambassador speaks up. 

"That proves nothing my dear." 

I pull out the birth token and dangle it from my hand in front of all of them. 

"After what I heard I had my suspicions about Trikru being the one's who perpetrated the attacks. I went to check out the body of the first raider who had been killed and found him burned to ash on a pyre. My father gave a convenient excuse for doing it but after he left I went digging in the ash and found this Azgedan birth token. I suspect the body was burned to cover up the fact that the raiders were actually splita from the Ice Nation." 

Blue Cliff speaks up. 

"So what exactly did Queen Nia and your father have in mind?" 

"They planned to have Ontari ascend to Commander and all other clans to bend the knee to their alliance. It was no secret that Trikru hates my clan because of what happened with Trishanakru so it's easy to blame them for the attacks. And before you say anything I know our clan has traditionally held a neutral position but all I can say is Queen Nia must have promised something significant to my father for him to break that tradition." 

The ambassador for Delphikru points his finger at me. 

"Those are some serious accusations you level Lady Siobhan." 

"My own father will lose his life over this and the mantle of Chieftain goes to my brother so what would I have to gain from this?" 

"You were offered an Azgedan crown weren't you?" 

"Yes so then why would I be condemning the woman who would be my mother in law?" 

"Perhaps you saw an opportunity to dispense with waiting for the title of Queen." 

Now I'm starting to get angry and clearly Lexa sees it because she stands up and crosses over to me. 

"Thank you Lady Siobhan, we appreciate you bringing us this warning." 

She looks at the assembled representatives. 

"We will reconvene to discuss this after a meal." 

Everyone present gets up and disperses and I am more than happy to get out of there. That convoluted thinking and inherent suspicion of everyone is exactly why I'm not fond of politics. Lexa invites me to dine with her but I politely decline and make a beeline for the lift, Brego right on my heels. I don't breathe easy till I get outside into the sunshine. My stomach growls and I realize I haven't had anything to eat since dinner last night. I was too worked up this morning to eat breakfast so I'm starving and I imagine Brego's hungry too. I head for the little inn tucked away off of the courtyard in the center of town. It used to be an old indoor mall before Praimfaya. Now its been haphazardly split into rooms with the former food court filled with various vendors selling fruits, vegetables and grilled meats. We settle into a sunny corner with some chicken and vegetables and people watch. When our bellies are nice and full we take our time ambling back toward the tower. I'm thinking of stopping off at one of the vendors selling recovered books to see if there's anything of interest. I smile to myself when I think of the huge tub in my tower room that I haven't gotten around to using yet. Leidolf won't have to find me a bathtub after all. As we are coming around a corner Brego suddenly gets excited and takes off across the street.  

"Brego what the hell?" 

I track his headlong rush and what I see almost drives me to panic.  

"Oh crap." 

It's Prince Roan dismounting from his horse to greet Brego. He starts to lift his head and I duck back around the corner and pray he hasn't seen me. I really don't want to see him, I mean what do I say? By the way I found someone I like you're out of luck? I run back to the food court to try and lose myself in the crowd hoping that Brego doesn't innocently lead Roan right to me. What is he doing here? Doesn't he have a coup to deal with? Brego knows him? Of course Brego knows him, the whole wolf thing is an open secret up there and since Brego is a part of the First pack it makes sense the rulers of Azgeda would be familiar with them. Dammit. One of the vendors is looking at me funny and I realize I look ridiculous hiding behind the kabob cart but I don't know what else to do. I see him wander in with Brego at his side and he looks intensely determined and that doesn't bode well for me. I have no idea what he's going to do, he sent a marriage proposal after all and I ran away from it. Maybe he feels humiliated by the whole thing and now he's pissed.  I see he's dispensed with the royal garb and the armor and is just wearing worn black leather pants and a soft blue henley with old military boots. His hair is pulled back into a small pony tail and I can almost see the raised ridges of his facial scars from here. One of the vendors waves him over and they clasp arms, Roan's too close for me to make a run for it without being noticed so I'm stuck listening to their conversation.  

"My lord welcome back to Polis, I trust your dòmr ferð was successful?" 

The vendor is clearly Azgedan since he seems to be speaking to Roan with uncommon familiarity. 

"It was, I've claimed my birthright.........." 

He chuckles. 

"Now it seems I must track down my bride." 

The vendor laughs and all I see is red. I am so mad I step out from behind the cart and open my mouth before I even think about what I'm doing. 

"I AM NOT A DAMN PACKAGE YOU JACKASS!" 

I realize a second after I say it that I just blew my cover and slap my hands over my mouth. It would be comical in any other situation. I'm standing there with my hand over my mouth and my eyes wide open in horror and Roan's standing there frozen in shock at my outburst. Brego has run over to me wagging his tail as if to say "Look who I found!"  

It takes me a second but I finally get my feet moving and I turn around and take off towards the back door. 

"Siobhan!" 

"Shit." 

"Siobhan why are you running from me?" 

This was said in a hurt tone that makes me stop and whip around pointing my finger at him. 

"You don't get to do that you........." 

I trail off speechless. 

At that moment he gets close enough that I can see the scars on his face. I look into those blue eyes and the veil is lifted. I realize in that second what it was Leidolf was keeping from me, why at certain moments I could swear we had met before.  My voice comes out barely a whisper. 

"Leidolf?"


	17. Sex Lies and really annoying people Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siobhan confronts Roan about his deception and gets the truth from Echo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys here it is, the moment you have been patiently waiting for, an EIGHT pages in Word sex scene. I hope it lives up to your expectations. It's my first non BDSM sex scene I've ever written so let me know what you guys think.

"Oh........you........you're........YOU LIED TO ME!"

"Siobhan..."

"About EVERYTHING!"

He reaches out to touch my cheek and I smack his hand away.

It hits me, I don't know this man at all. I start to back away from him and he follows.  

"Siobhan." 

"No, you...."

Tears gather in my eyes and I furiously wipe at them. 

"You asshole!" 

It hurts so much I can't even look at him. I turn and stumble out to the back alley, tears blurring my vision. Roan steps out behind me and I blindly grab something off the windowsill next to me which happens to be a mug and throw it at him. He ducks and it shatters against the wall behind his head.

The poor vendor who followed after Roan panics. 

"My lord should I summon the guard?" 

"No that's not necessary thank you." 

"Are you certain my lord?" 

"Yes I'm certain." 

The vendor reluctantly heads back inside looking over his shoulder the entire time, clearly still worried I posed a threat to his prince. I look down at the shards littered on the pavement completely conflicted. Roan steps up and brushes a lingering kiss on the top of my head and with the tender gesture the tears spill over. The part of me that wanted to run to him the minute I realized who it was wants nothing more than to bury her face in his chest and just breathe in his scent. The part of me that is angry just wants to make him hurt like I am.

"I know you're angry with me." 

"Gee did the flying crockery give it away?" I snap.

His lip twitches. 

I struggle to get the words out past the lump of agony stuck in my throat. 

"Were you ever going to tell me?   

"Siobhan I'm so sorry." 

"You sat there and listened to me talk about YOU! I shared with you my fears about marrying Prince Roan and you ARE PRINCE ROAN!"

At this point my yelling has attracted attention and there's a crowd milling in the entrance of the alley. Roan follows my gaze and looks over his shoulder. I don't know what facial expression he has since he's turned around now but it's apparently enough to make everyone beat a hasty retreat.

He turns back just in time to narrowly avoid another mug being thrown at him. Before I can reach for a third one he grabs my wrists and holds them gently against his chest. I see movement in the doorway again and someone must have tattled because the vendor who is clearly the owner of the broken mugs is standing there ringing his hands. 

Roan flicks his gaze over to him.

"I'll take care of the mugs."

"That might get expensive MY LORD you sure you wanna do that?" I spit out.

He just looks at me and refuses to take the bait. It pisses me off and I yank my hands out of his and take a swing at him. My anger makes me sloppy and Roan dodges it easily enough. The vendor is still standing there in the doorway and his eyes are now the size of plates. I'm certain before the day is over the gossip will be all over town about some woman yelling at Prince Roan and throwing things at his head.

I want to throw something else but my anger is getting hard to hold on to. It would be easy to keep up if Roan was angry back because then he really would be the bad guy. Instead he's just quietly standing there with sorrow in his eyes. 

"Siobhan let me explain please."

"Did you get amusement out of it? Was anything you told me the truth at all?" 

I back further away from him. 

"I don't even know you...." 

"Strik Won." 

"DON'T, just don't." 

He sighs. 

"Everything I told you was true. Leidolf, his relation to my grandfather, the rebellion. I just borrowed his name." 

"More like you borrowed his LIFE Roan." 

I look up and he's holding his hand out. 

"Please Siobhan." 

"I......I can't talk to you right now." 

He drops his arm defeated. 

"Ok..........I'm staying in the tower if you wanna talk." 

I nod blindly at him and practically run to the alley entrance. Brego whines and looks back at Roan and then follows me, dejectedly hanging his head like a kid who's seen mom and dad fight. I pass by a bunch of people lingering in the courtyard, they pretend they haven't been listening and I ignore their whispering. Getting to the tower I head straight to my room. It's a shame I didn't think of stopping and getting some liquor before I got up here cause I really wanna get drunk but I'm too lazy to go back out and find some so I just end up falling into bed and giving into the tears.  

I must have dozed off because I wake up to knocking at my door. I look out the window and it's still early evening so I didn't sleep for long. My eyes are all scratchy and I stumble to the door ready to bite the head off of whoever thought it was a good idea to bother me right now. I swing open the door and I'm surprised to see Roan's second. 

"Siobhan can we talk?" 

"You're Echo." 

"Yes." 

She doesn't look like she's going anywhere till she's had her say so I step aside and let her in.  

"So did Roan send you? Or is it Leidolf or someone else perhaps?" 

"Siobhan hear me out please." 

"Fine." 

I stomp over and park myself on the end of my bed, Brego curling up next to me. 

"Roan didn't send me, I came on my own. He's not going to approach you unless you ask him to." 

"Hmmph." 

"Let me explain about dòmr ferð." 

"I've heard that word, the vendor asked Roan if his was successful." 

"It's the reason he had to lie to you." 

I snort and fold my arms.

"This should be good." 

"Dòmr ferð means Journey of Judgement. All Alphas whether born shifter or human who are born to nobility must go through it. They are cast out into the wilderness to see if they are worthy of leading their people. They can't reveal who they are and they can't ask for help. They leave with their weapons and a horse and that's it. Whatever gets thrown at them they have to deal with it on their own, if they succeed then they have proven themselves strong enough to lead both man and wolf."

"Don't the shifters have an advantage with the whole wolf thing?"

"Yes which is why they aren't allowed to use the wolf when hunting or fighting." 

"And if they fail?" 

"They die out there alone." 

"How sad."

"The North is hard and unforgiving, it demands much from its people, more so its rulers."

"So he couldn't tell me who really was because it would be a violation of Dòmr ferð." 

"Exactly. Believe me, it was killing him to keep it from you."

I sit there and pick at a loose thread on the bedspread. As angry as I am I can understand. Bluegrass certainly has its share of inviolable traditions. Our people still practice the tradition of having a sin eater at funerals after all and my father will die for his.

"So who is Leidolf?" 

"Leidolf's a noble who's uncle really is the bastard child of Roan's grandfather. He and Roan have known each other since they were kids. Leidolf is older and has already completed his Dòmr ferð so Roan borrowed his story when he met you." 

"So was anything else he told me a lie?" 

"No. And if it makes any difference he fully intended to court you when he came to Bluegrass and he would have stuck by that even if your father insisted you marry." 

I remember him asking me what it was I would say if I ran into Roan and I laugh. 

"What?"

"He asked me what I would say if I ever ran into Roan."

"What did you say?"

"That I would tell him if he wanted to marry me he could damn well ask me himself, that if it was worth it to him he could put in the time to get to know me."

Echo laughs.

"I do believe he's met his match with you."

I chew on my lip to get up the courage to ask my next question.

"So.....I don't understand something."

"Go on."

"Why do I feel so drawn to him?"

"He should probably be the one to explain that, it's sort of personal."

"Oh."

"He loves you you know." 

"How can that be he just met me!" 

"It's different with shifters. Wolves mate for life and for them when they meet the One they know it without a doubt." 

"That's like a lot to take in." 

She smiles. 

"I know, that kind of devotion can be overwhelming but you don't have to be afraid of it." 

"I don't know what to say." 

She comes over and clasps my shoulder. 

"I would be honored if you became my pack sister." 

She flashes her eyes at me and I remember her standing next to me in her fur on the crest of a snowy hill when the thirteenth colony comes crashing down.  

"Well now I have a pretty good idea who I was talking about when I asked you in my vision if my husband sent you." 

"Ah, Roan told me about the thirteenth clan returning. I believe he said something about you being alone out there because you're stubborn and clearly it was something he failed to cure you of." 

"Hah, like that'll happen." 

She heads for the door. 

"Go see him. He's wallowing in misery right now, afraid you'll never talk to him again." 

"I will." 

She quietly closes the door behind her and leaves me alone with my thoughts. 

I sit there for another half hour asking myself if this is what I want. I'm in love with Leidolf who's the same person as Roan but now there's a crown and a throne and a much bigger world. Did I just refuse his suit because I was being contrary, because my father wanted it? I have no doubt I wouldn't hesitate to be with Leidolf but what about Roan? Was there more to my refusal or is it just that I was angry about being left out of the whole betrothal? Have I been unfair to Roan this whole time? Getting to know Leidolf showed me all my assumptions about the Azgedans were wrong. They aren't savage barbarians. They are an honorable people who are more than capable of love.

Closing my eyes I picture the devastated look on Roan's face when I left him standing in the alley and its almost physically painful. I look back further and remember how it felt to be held in his arms. How I felt cherished and loved and safe. The all consuming desire I feel when he kisses me. I'm not angry anymore and I can feel this tug just underneath my breastbone. It's not painful but it's compelling. I get up and head for the door letting my instincts lead me. Brego who hasn't let me out of his sight since he was commanded to protect me settles down at the foot of the bed and closes his eyes like he knows where I'm going and maybe he does.

I get to Roan's door and knock softly. I'm nervous and excited and it feels like there's a whole swarm of butterflies in my stomach.

"Come in."

I open the door and he's sprawled on the floor with a bunch of papers scattered around him. His hair is disheveled and loose from its ponytail like he's been dragging his fingers through it. He's taken his boots off and untucked his shirt. When he looks up I can see the strain around his eyes and it hurts. He sees me and immediately gets up, crossing over to me.

"Siobhan?"

I'm out of my depth and I have no idea what to do right now so I focus on something mundane.

"What are you working on?"

"The protocol for removing my mother from the throne. She's on her way to Polis to press her challenge."

"Are you ok with that?"

He smiles faintly.

"I have no choice. My mother has ceded too much power to the purists and even if Ontari loses the challenge the Ice Nation will be torn apart. Every year she grows more paranoid, it took her executing my cousin and his family for me to finally realize she needed to be removed."

"Was your cousin part of the rebellion?"

His lips compress and he clenches his jaw.

"No, they were innocent."

I reach out and squeeze his left hand.

"I'm so sorry Roan."

He squeezes back and nods.

"So is Leidolf's family really pushing for his uncle on the throne?"

"Unfortunately. Dealing with my mother will swing a lot of them in my favor but there will always be those who wish to see Nathan on the throne."

"Regardless of what happens with us you have my support."

He looks up and searches my gaze, whatever he sees in my eyes must reassure him because some of the tension bleeds from his shoulders.

"I'm guessing you met with Lexa?"

"Yes, she was quite impressed with you you know."

I duck my head.

"I just did what was right."

"True but how many would have the courage to stand up to their father knowing what would happen, you didn't hesitate but I did."

Uncomfortable with the praise I change the subject.

"Emmett will likely be here tomorrow."

He nods and goes to reach his hand out but aborts the gesture like he isn't sure of his welcome.

I swallow hard, reach out and lay my hand on his chest right above his heart. It's racing like a rabbits and I feel better knowing he's just as nervous as I am.

"I talked to Echo.........she told me everything."

He huffs a laugh.

"I told her to leave you in peace."

"It's ok, this whole thing it's just.....a lot."

"I know."

He lays his palm against my cheek and lightly rubs his thumb across it and I can't help but lean into it.

"I.........I understand why you couldn't tell me who you were."

"I wanted to Siobhan, by the Gods did I want to."

I look down at the floor afraid of what I wanna say next.

He leans down and tries to catch my gaze.

"What is it?"

"I."

I stop. There's no going back from this. Hearing my words he'll either give up or stick around. 

"I don't know about the throne or the crown or the title Roan."

He nods.

"Ok."

I look at him shocked and relieved in equal measure.

"That's it, just......ok?"

"I'm in love with you are you in love with me?"

"I..........yes."

He smiles.

"Then that's all that matters."

He brings his other hand up to my cheek and leans in pressing his lips against mine. I open my mouth to his tongue and the little tug that led me here starts to flicker just behind where my heart is. It's warm and inviting and SURE. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me flush against his body. His other hand wraps around the back of my neck and buries itself in my hair. I shiver at the possessiveness in the gesture.

I'm so wrapped up in his lips and hands on me that I'm startled by the crash of pottery when he summarily sweeps everything off of the foyer table and deposits me on my back on top of it. I open my eyes and his have gone completely silver, the beast within rising to the surface. 

"Siobhan you have to tell me now if you want to stop. This is your first time, are you sure?"

I can feel the energy thrumming just under his skin waiting to be released and I marvel at the power I have over this man. I know without a doubt if I said no he would escort me to the door, say goodnight  and wait for a yes.

"I'm sure."

His eyes light up and start to burn and I realize up to this point he's been holding back. I've only ever seen a glimpse of the wolf when he's human but the way he's looking at me now it's like he wants to eat me alive and my acquiescence has figuratively let him off the leash. Instead of being afraid though I'm aching with need, wet and aroused. He smells it and growls, his pupils dilating until the silver is swallowed by blackness. 

His fangs drop and he traps both my wrists above my head in his left hand, stepping up between my legs and pressing his pelvis right up against my core. My head drops to the table with a thunk, we've only just started and already I can't think straight. The growling goes sub vocal and rumbles deep in his chest. Pressed up against me like he is I can feel it vibrating through my skin. I find myself squirming against his hips like I'm in heat, desperate to get closer. I can feel how hard he his underneath the leather and I'm almost embarrassed by how badly I want him inside me. My mouth drops open and a long drawn out moan escapes when he puts his lips to my neck and starts to suck. I can feel the tiny pricks from the tips of his fangs as he works his way from the back of my ear to my shoulder. I rip one of my hands loose and fumble to open his pants. He recaptures my hand quietly laughing.

""Slow down ai niron, we have all night."

I look up at him flushed and out of breath.

"Good cause this isn't a run down dormitory with a barely adequate bed."

He grins.

"No it isn't."

He leans over me, capturing my mouth again and slides his hand under the waistband of my pants. His fingers are like branding irons they're so hot and when he palms my ass and firmly squeezes I tug against his grip on my wrists whimpering, spreading my legs wider trying to get him to move his hand where I really want it. Thankfully he doesn't let me suffer, bringing his right hand around to the front and deftly unbuttoning my pants, sliding it into my underwear and firmly cupping my sex. 

"Roan, PLEASE."

"Easy, I've got you strik won."

I'm beyond shame but I can hear Roan breathing hard too so I'm not the only one so excited. I feel like if I don't get my clothes off I'm going to burst into flames. 

He seals his mouth to mine, slowly running two fingers over my inner lips and firmly rolling his thumb over my clit.  My hips buck involuntarily and I wrap both legs around his waist to pull him closer, he responds by gripping my wrists tighter. I tilt my hips up and he sets up a rhythm, a light tracing of my lips with the tips of his fingers and then a slow firm rotation on my clit with his thumb. I find myself pushing even closer to him and rolling my hips in time with his movements as he kisses me. 

I thought my first time would be awkward and painful, that I'd be overthinking things but this.....this feels like riding the river currants on a clear summer day and letting the water sweep you along. There's nothing but waves of pleasure and I can still feel that flicker, it keeps growing stronger by the minute moving outward from my heart. 

He suddenly slides his two middle fingers inside me swallowing my cry with his mouth. I'm squeezing his waist so hard I'm surprised he can still breathe. He breaks off the kiss and bites down on my neck, not quite hard enough to break skin, crooking his fingers forward and pressing down hard. I arch my back and bite my lip, tasting blood. He alternates between lightly rubbing the bundle of nerves and putting firm pressure on them, rubbing my clit under his thumb and pushing me higher and higher until my orgasm crashes over me. I cry out loudly, clenching around his fingers, my hips shifting uncontrollably. He gently strokes me through the aftershocks, lazily kissing my neck and whispering nonsense until I come down. Sliding his fingers from me I drag my eyes open in time to see him avidly sucking my juices off of them. He sees me watching and grins, swooping in to kiss me, invading my mouth with his tongue and sharing my taste. It should be gross really but it only makes me hotter. 

"Roan, bed." I demand.

He grabs my ass picking me up, a smug grin on his face. It's a grin I intend to wipe off of it, turn about IS fair play. He sets me down and I grab his shoulders turning him around and shoving him down onto the bed. Straddling his hips I slowly ruck up his shirt and lay kisses in the wake of my hands as I go. He brings his hands up and loosely clasps my hips, content to let me do as I will. 

I lean down and take his earlobe between my teeth tugging on it lightly and getting a long inhale. Moving on to his neck I work my way down, little bites interspersed with hard sucking and soft kisses. I get to his nipples and spend enough time nibbling on and licking them that his hands are now gripping my hips. I continue my assault and the closer I get to the waistband of his pants the more restless he gets. I dip my tongue into his navel and his whole body twitches. 

"Siioooobbbbhaaaan......"

I smirk and shift downwards, opening his pants and drawing out his cock. It's weighty and hard as stone. I've only ever seen my brothers and that was when we were kids so I'm in new territory here. Roan seems to sense I've never done this before because he squeezes my hips and relaxes into the bedding, closing his eyes. I wrap my hand around it and I'm surprised to find the skin is incredibly soft and perfectly smooth. Leaning down I experimentally run my tongue along the underside from the base to the tip and he lets out a deep moan. Emboldened I put my mouth around the tip and suck hard, running the tip of my tongue along the slit and he drops his right hand to the bed, gripping a handful of the sheet and squeezing. Relaxing my throat I slide my mouth down his shaft until I hit the base and swallow hard. I hear the sound of fabric ripping and look over to see the claws of his right hand have come out and are now buried in the mattress. I pull back my mouth, just barely scraping the edges of my teeth up his shaft and he actually snarls. I look up and he's gritting his teeth, fangs completely extended and gleaming in the light of the setting sun. 

Bending down, I lay a wet kiss along the inside of his thigh and take one of his balls into my mouth. Rolling it around on my tongue and gently sucking on it I can feel him struggling not to just grab my hair and shove his cock down my throat. I reward his restraint by moving back up to it and sliding it down my throat, repeatedly swallowing. I settle into a rhythm, sucking on the tip, gently running my teeth over the delicate skin and swallowing the shaft. He's quietly mewling and shifting his hips, a whole string of nonsensical praise spilling from his lips. Taking a deep breath I swallow his cock, holding it in my throat and squeezing while I push my thumb in just underneath his balls. He sucks in a huge breath, body locking up and comes, spilling his release down my throat. I swallow all of it and sit back, watching him recover and silently thank Lanie for that winter evening hiding in the larder, passing a bottle of strawberry wine back and forth with the girls of the kitchen crew, learning how to please a man with a fresh cucumber and a lot of giggling. 

I'm perched over his groin smug as all get out when he sits up grabbing me around the waist and before I can say a word he has my shirt and bra off and one of my breasts in his mouth. My head drops back and I whimper. Feeling him release, watching his body twist in the throes of his orgasm has escalated my arousal and I'm desperately trying to get his shirt off. My thighs unconsciously squeeze around his waist as he sucks on my nipples, biting down and then soothing them with his tongue. 

I finally pull his attention from my breasts long enough to get his shirt off and the feel of them brushing against the hot skin of his chest has my whole body tingling in anticipation of the rest of his naked body pressed against me. When he has thoroughly lavished attention on them he lifts me up and lays me down on the bed. Looking at me with a question in his eyes, he wordlessly asks if I want this one more time and I dig my fingers into the sheets.

"Roan yeeesssssss."

He slowly slides my boots, pants and underwear off and runs his hands up my legs gently parting them wide open. I'm completely exposed to his gaze and it's tempting to cover up, no man has seen this secret part of me ever but my discomfort disappears the minute I see his eyes. They have bled into crimson and travel the length of my body, lust and hunger burning in them, the wolf almost completely having subsumed him but I'm not afraid. The warm flicker has blossomed into an indescribable radiancy and I swear I can see a faint thread, glowing gold and leading from my heart to his and it compels me to take that final step that somehow I instinctively already know. 

I look into his eyes and then close mine, laying my head to the side and exposing my neck, moving my hands to rest above my head. I take a deep breath and submit to the Alpha. I hear him growl long and low and it resonates raising goosebumps all along my skin. His pants drop to the floor and I spread my legs open wider, tilting my hips up in supplication. Any logic or reason or rationality is gone, I'm nothing but desire and need. 

I let out an embarrassing squeal when I feel his thumbs part my lips and his mouth cover my sex, sucking and licking. For long minutes the room is silent save for his rumbling, my breathless cries and the wet sound of him lapping up my juices. He slides two fingers inside me and slowly works me open, sucking on my clit and flicking it with his tongue. I'm panting and rolling my hips, the sensitive skin of my inner thighs and lips scraping against his stubble and setting off sparks of pleasure. He slides his arms under my legs, gripping my knees, holding me spread open and immobile and starts to fuck me with his tongue. It's long and slick and he keeps rubbing the tip of it against that one spot making me crazy with want. I can't help it, I reach down and grab a handful of his hair, trying to grind myself down onto his mouth. I'm babbling nonsense my voice hoarse from keening and he doesn't let up until I come hard, my whole body seizing up. 

While I'm riding the pleasure of my second orgasm he moves up between my legs, gathering my juices and coating his cock in them. Leaning down, he captures my mouth and enters me with excruciating slowness. I gasp as he fills me up, my muscles stretching to accommodate his considerable size and still contracting with the aftershocks. I tense up in anticipation of the pain but when he breaks through and takes my virginity I feel nothing but a tiny pinch that fades quickly. Pausing he waits for me to adjust and then starts to leisurely thrust, twisting his hips when he bottoms out, slowly pulling back out and then surging forward. With every drag of his cock over that bundle of nerves and every bump of his pelvic bone against my clit my body winds tighter and tighter. Neither of us has breath for words, our bodies moving in harmony, muscles shifting and quiet moans drifting out into the room. I open my eyes and the gold thread I saw is now almost blinding in it's luminescence. It's wrapped around both of our bodies and as I watch it sinks into our skin and feel it suffuse my body with warmth. 

I'm so wrapped up in the feel of his weight pressing me into the bedding, his shoulder blades shifting under my hands and the waves of pleasure consuming me it takes time for me to notice I'm picking up sensations that aren't mine. I feel heat and a tight wet grip on my cock, feminine hands on my back and the softness of a pair of breasts against my chest. Before I can even freak out about it I feel Roan in my head, his presence like a bright star unfurling and reaching out to connect with me. I can't even begin explain what I'm seeing behind my closed eyelids but it's as if I'm looking at our souls, brilliant and glowing. I watch as they merge and understanding dawns. I can feel his emotions, physical sensations as if they were my own and they echo and reflect mine like the endless ripples born of dropping a stone in the water.  

I know now what's to come and I clasp him to me harder, the dual stimulation consuming me and I ride the sensations as he fucks me deep and hard. I feel it when our orgasms are close and I instinctively stretch my neck out, baring my throat. Just as we reach our release he strikes and buries his fangs in my neck just above my shoulder. I cry out in pleasure and feel a brief, sharp piercing and then the bond between us blows wide open.  

Suddenly I'm racing across the snowy tundra on four feet, my pack surrounding me. I can feel my heart pounding strong and sure, feel the bonds linking me to the pack, the crisp cold air ruffling my fur and the ice clinging to my paws. The white vastness stretches out in front of me, the full moon the only light but my eyes can see perfectly. There's an elk running before us and the urge to run down our prey is overwhelming. It doesn’t take long to catch up, the heavy drifts make it clumsy and slow. The pack strikes as one and it's over quickly. I can taste the warm blood in my mouth and I throw my head back and howl in triumph, the pack joining their voices with mine and our song echoing out into the dark. The feeling of Pack, the bonds of brother and sisterhood is indescribable. At the same time I can sense he is seeing into my soul as I am flooded with the echoes of thundering hooves, the freedom of the plains, the strains of a beautiful Irish melody, the scent of tobacco and the sound of drums in the night. The visions wash over the both of us as the bond snaps into place and I feel the hot rush of his release inside me as my own orgasm hits and everything goes dark.

I slowly come back to awareness to him gently licking at my mating bite. He's still buried deep inside me, his hips unconsciously shifting and chasing the last of the pleasure. I tighten my legs around his waist to hold him there unwilling to break the physical connection just yet. I drag my eyes open and after what I witnessed the bed, the window, the whole room, it doesn't look real. My entire world has changed and I don't know what I expected but it's exactly the same and yet not. The bond has settled and I can feel Roan still there in my mind but he's a quiet presence in the background solid and comforting. I look up and Roan is gazing down at me, that odd anxiousness always lurking in the back of his eyes gone. The realization hits me it was because of an unfinished mating bond. 

"You....you were in pain Roan."

He cocks his head at me.

"I saw it in your eyes, I get it now. I'm your Mate and the whole time you were with me you couldn't complete the bond. It started the moment you met me but because of the dòmr ferð you couldn't tell me I was your Mate."

He braces himself on his forearms and leans down to kiss me.

"It's ok, you're here with me now."

"Ummm."

"Yes?"

"The whole sharing of our minds, it's not going to be like that every time we have sex is it?"

He laughs.

"No, it's only because it's a newly forged bond. The synchronicity will take some getting used to but it shouldn't take long for you to learn to separate what I feel from what you feel and be able to call it up when you want to reach out to me mentally. Eventually it will expand to include the pack."

"So who's in our Pack?"

He looks at me in surprise and then smiles with pleasure at my casual reference to being a part of his pack.

"Our pack is made up of the royal family, certain warriors who have been given a place in it like Echo and of course Brego and the rest of the First pack."

"Wait so can Brego pick up my emotions? Does he know we just...you know had mind blowing sex?"

Roan's eyes gleam with smugness.

"He knows we mated yes."

I slap my hands over my eyes and Roan snorts.

"It's not funny, I have to see him in the morning."

He smiles and shakes his head, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"Seeing through your eyes when you were in wolf form, that was amazing."

"As was seeing through your eyes. Horses were always just a way to get from one place to another, I didn't understand the freedom and exhilaration they could inspire until I found myself racing across the plain on Luna's back."

The sweat has started to cool on our bodies and I shiver. Roan grabs the sheets and covers us up, clearly not wanting to separate yet either. He idly kisses a breast and looks at me. He's kind of red and if I didn't know any better I'd say he was embarrassed.

"So if you don't mind my asking Siobhan, where did you learn to uh....."

I grin because I know what he's asking about.

"Suck cock?"

"Siobhan!"

I laugh.

"One night I stayed up late with Lanie and the girls on the kitchen crew. They all volunteered to teach me how to please a man."

"Oh lord."

"We got a little drunk on strawberry wine and Lanie found a good fresh cucumber and showed me how to you know......suck."

Roan drops his forehead onto my collarbone.

"We were laughing so hard I'm surprised we didn't wake the whole house. Helena she was really helpful, she showed me how to do it without gagging."

The look on Roans face is priceless.

"The whole thing was interrupted when my brother came down to get some milk and walked in on Lanie licking the cucumber, he hasn't been able to look her in the eye since."

Roan busts up laughing and I can actually sense his amusement in my head bright and warm. It's the weirdest sensation to say the least. 

He leans down and captures my mouth again and his renewed hunger comes across the bond. Just feeling it in my head is enough to make me wet and aroused. He moves down to my breasts and sucks on them, scraping his teeth on my nipples and squeezing them in his hot palms until they're swollen and I'm crying out and squirming underneath him. 

"Gods.....Roooaaan."

He can feel his lips smiling as he works his way down to the source of all my craving and seals his mouth to my lips, using his tongue to thoroughly clean his release from me. He's relentless and keeps going until he's driven me to another orgasm. Leisurely kissing his way back up I sigh with pleasure when his cock nudges my lips apart and slides in. The desperate urgency from our first coupling is gone, the raging fire simmered down to embers so this time the joining of our bodies is unhurried and steady. He makes love to me, drawing the pleasure out. Soft kisses on my lips and breasts and gentle caresses. He's looking at me like I'm the most precious thing in the world to him, the tenderness and love I feel across the bond threatens to bring tears to my eyes. Now I understand what Echo meant when she said the devotion of a shifter Mate could be overwhelming. I know with absolute certainty that Roan will never stray, will stand by me till the day he dies and if necessary give his life for me. With him I will never want for anything. I'm still not sure about the throne and everything else that comes with him but I am sure of him.

I hold him tighter to me and let my feelings for him flow across the bond and I feel his release at the same time I let go. The pleasure breaks at my core and blossoms outward over my body and through my mind alongside his and then fades like the tide at night. We both lie there sweaty and worn out, enjoying the pleasurable lassitude, trading little kisses until our bodies cool down and our hearts slow. My eyes start to droop and he quietly chuckles, gently slipping out of me and rolling to his back, tucking me in under his chin. The strong beat of his heart underneath my ear and the peace I can feel flowing through the bond is like a lullaby and in no time at all I'm sound asleep.


	18. The confrontation and trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roan and Siobhan have officially bonded as Wolf and Mate. She gets to meet some of Roan's pack and they acknowledge her as their Alpha's mate. Siobhan confronts her father and the accusations are brought to light before the Council and ambassadors. Emmett and Bernal have their say, a determination is made about who is responsible for the attacks and a sentence is delivered.

I wake up the next morning to the smell of breakfast and Brego enthusiastically licking my face.

I laugh and scratch behind an ear.

“Brego eww come on.”

I open my eyes and Roan is dressed and laying out food on a table by the window. 

“What is it with you wolves and your need to slobber on my face?”

Roan winks at me.

“You taste much better than grandma .”

“Ha ha very funny.”

I hug Brego and take a peek at his shoulder, I’m surprised to see it’s pretty much healed up already.

“Brego healed fast.”

Roan looks over and nods.

“It’s one of the benefits of being in a pack, the bond allows us to share our life energies to help a packmate recover from injuries. It’s something you will eventually learn how to do. The Varúlfur were actually able to physically heal another pack member through touch alone but with the thinning of the blood through successive generations we lost that ability.”

"Are you serious? Actual cheirotonia?"

"Cheirotonia?"

"It's Greek for laying on of hands."

"Where did you pick that up?"

"Bernal stumbled on the ruins of an old Greek orthodox church, brought back one of their bibles."

He grins.

"Oh you're gonna love our library."

I wrap the sheet around me and come sit down at the table, grabbing a slice of orange.

"So any other superpowers I should know about?"

A serious look passes over his face.

"If you accept the Mate bond and all that comes with it you will be taken to Storr Ulvehi where our Völva will teach you the ways of the Varúlfur and the Pack."

"Aren't we already bonded?"

"Yes but you still have a choice, we both do. The bond is a gift, not enslavement, you can walk away."

"What would happen if one of us did?"

He looks up sharply.

"I'm just....I'm curious."

He fills my plate and sits down.

"The universe made us for one other, there would always be something missing with someone else but that doesn't mean you couldn't find some measure of happiness with them. It happens, sometimes the bond is not enough, sometimes it's too much and sometimes one of you is already with someone when you meet."

I pick at my orange for a minute and then spear a forkful of eggs just to have something to do while I gather my thoughts. Roan quietly eats, I know what he wants I can feel it through our link.

"I always thought soulmates were just a stupid fairytale but then when you left to go home...."

He puts his fork down and holds his hand out.

"Come here ai niron."

I get up and he pulls me into his lap wrapping his arms around me.

"It had the same effect on me."

"It felt like I didn't have any control Roan."

"The bond will settle, right now it's still new. My grandfather taught me to think of yourself like a three legged chair. When the legs are evenly spaced it stands just fine but the bond adds another leg to that chair and makes it stronger, able to carry more weight."

He squeezes me tight.

"Most of us find our mate when we're still children. It begins as a comfort thing, grows into friendship and then eventually sexual attraction. I was twenty-eight winters and still hadn't found mine, I didn't think I ever would but then I saw you at the Conclave and I knew you were the one. You were only sixteen then, too young to make that kind of commitment yet and your father insisted I wait till you were eighteen so, I bided my time."

"You know you really pissed me off that day. I wanted to smack that insufferable arrogance right off your face."

He laughs. "I could tell. Just a little slip of a girl standing there in the torchlight with wild red hair and emerald eyes. You stood your ground and I was utterly bewitched. Control of the wolf in me always came easy but I gotta say that night really tested it. I wanted to drag you off somewhere and have my way with you."

"I felt something too although obviously not as strong as you did. I had........."

I stop and turn red.

"You had what?"

"I.......I had dreams about you after that."

He grins.

"Mmmmm what kind of dreams?"

"Never you mind."

He smiles wolfishly showing all his teeth and I squirm in his lap. I can feel the low simmer of his arousal and as much as I want to indulge it we have obligations. 

"We....we really should finish breakfast and get to council."

I watch as the heat in his eyes dies down and I get off his lap and sit back down across from him.

"You're right, we have a big day ahead. I got word Emmett is here as well as your brother, father and my mother.”

“I expected Emmett but why are Conall and my father here?”

“I don’t know but judging from your father’s mood something happened.”

I huff out a sigh and tuck into breakfast. I'm not looking forward to today at all.

I drag breakfast out until I can't put it off any longer. I really would rather stay in bed but I haul my butt over to the bed to get dressed. Dropping the sheet I look over and catch Roan blatantly leering. His covetous gaze has me feeling mischievous so I slowly and deliberately bend over to grab my pants, throwing him a provocative look over my shoulder.

“See something you like my Prince?”

He pauses, glass of milk halfway to his mouth. My eyes widen when his suddenly bleed red and he very deliberately sets the glass down, gets up and crosses the room to where I’m standing. If I didn’t feel the sudden wave of hot lust across the bond I’d be a bit frightened. As it is I relax when he firmly grips the back of my neck and bends me over the end of the bed. Brego scrambles off the blankets where he was sprawled and retreats into the bathroom at the sound of Roan’s growling. Before his tail has disappeared around the doorframe Roan is inside me. 

“Ohhhhh.”

He nudges my thighs apart and drapes his body over my back, the position allowing him to thrust deep. I rest my cheek on the blanket and stretch out giving over to the pleasure. He reaches up and tangles his fingers with mine, rumbling in my ear and nibbling at my neck. He's not hurting me and the feeling of being helpless and at his mercy is hugely arousing. Pinning me from shoulders to knees like he is I can't do anything but let him take me and sate his urges. I can feel everything in his head, the primal urge, the dominance of the wolf, the dual rush of filling my mate and being filled by my mate, the need to protect and love, to claim, to possess. It's an indescribable feeling. I grip his hands and push back into his thrusts as much as I'm able and turn my head for a kiss which he gladly gives. The overload of sensation has me coming fast and hard and he follows not long after. My whole body goes boneless and I just lie there glad I'm already on the bed cause if I wasn't I'd be on the floor. 

Roan lays a kiss on the back of my neck and rests his forehead between my shoulder blades for a moment, catching his breath before slowly sliding out. 

"I didn't hurt you did I?"

"I'm a little sore but more than ok. I wouldn't have any objection to just skipping this whole damn thing and staying in here all day."

He tucks himself in and tosses my clothes at me.

"Don't tempt me woman."

I laugh and get dressed but before we head out he takes my hand and tugs me towards a section of the bathroom I hadn't seen.

"I have something I wanna show you."

Coming around the corner I shake my head in amusement when I see what's in the alcove. Tucked in underneath the window is an enormous bathtub. One of those ones with the weird knobs on the sides that serve some unknown purpose. I had the opportunity to look inside the cabinet beneath the one we have in the master's chambers at home and I suspected the knobs cycle water through them but why I had no clue.

"I do believe I promised you a nice bathtub princess."

"That you did My Prince, we'll have to try it out tonight."

We get cleaned up and a half an hour later we're strolling into the antechamber next to the council room entrance only slightly late and holding hands, Brego right at our heels. I see Echo and before I can say anything she comes over and drops to a knee at my feet tipping her neck to the side. It's unexpected.

"Ummmm."

Roan nods at her and explains.

"You're the Luna, the Alpha's mate. She's offering her submission."

Following an instinct I'm certain is coming from the bond I reach my hand out and pull Echo to her feet, sliding my other hand around the back of her neck and firmly squeezing. She leans in and lightly rubs her cheek over my shoulder just below the mating bite. It should be weird but I get it, she's scenting me.

"Welcome to the Pack Siobhan." 

The moment she says that I feel another link flare up within the bond, not like the one I have with Roan but almost as strong. I look over at Echo in wonderment.

"I can feel you in my head."

Echo smirks and looks over my shoulder.

"It's about to get a lot more crowded in there."

I turn around and Roan is greeting four Azgedan warriors in full battle gear coming in the doorway. I have to laugh when I see one of them, a big blond bear of a man, pick Roan up and hug him like he weighs no more than a child. 

"Roan you bastard I hear you finally took your balls in hand and claimed your mate! It's about time, I got sick of you hearing you pine over her."

"You owed me Gunnar, after all the times I had to listen to your drunken ass every time Vasha kicked you out of bed!"

"Filthy lies, I slept on the couch because Vasha snores!"

Initial insults thrown they start going at each other. Echo nonchalantly skirts the squabble and goes to close the antechamber door before helping the other three move the furniture out of the way as if this was a perfectly normal and frequent occurrence. I watch amused, the whole thing reminds me of the playfighting I used to do with Conall when we were kids. 

Furniture moved out of harm's way Echo sighs and comes over with the other three for introductions.

"It seems it's up to me to make introductions since Gunnar and Roan have tragically regressed into children."

She points to a lean and compact warrior with raven hair who reminds me of the dark elves in Grimm's fairytales. 

"This is Calder."

He laughs and flicks a glance over at the two who are now on the floor wrestling.

"How can it still be a tragedy Echo when it happens every time they see each other? I mean really the word has lost all meaning at this point."

He comes over and drops to one knee, exposing his jugular.

I reach down and clasp his neck, feeling the warmth of another link blossom within the bond. He stands up and rubs his palm down my left bicep, giving me a rakish smile.

"Good to finally meet you, it's been a very long two years. I was there when he first picked up your scent at the Conclave and he's been insufferable about it ever since."

Roan comes up looking disheveled and cuffs Calder in the back of the head.

"He forgets I had to listen to him go on about his mate a lot longer, he was twelve when he met her."

Calder's about to say something when Gunner comes up and all but shoves him out of the way.

Echo rolls her eyes.

"This ill-mannered brute is Gunnar."

He picks me up and squeezes me, rubbing his beard in my cleavage and I see Roan cringe like he expects me to be offended.

I laugh shoving Gunnar's face away.

"It's ok Roan he's no worse than the stable boys back home but there better not be any beard burn."

Gunnar gets a huge smile on his face.

"Oh I like this one!"

Gunnar sets me down, tilting his neck. I run my hand through his hair and feel his presence light up in my head. He cocks his head and leans in to sniff at me, a wicked grin on his face.

"By the God's Roan did you let the woman sleep at all last night?"

He winks at me.

"Did he do it right Siobhan? Or did he leave you wanting?"

Roan covers his face with his hand while Calder is the corner giggling and Echo looks like she regrets her choice of friends.

"You know if he didn't do his proper duty by you there's always room in my bed systir, Vasha wouldn't mind sharing."

He waggles his brows at me before he gets shoved out of the way by his twin.

"Please excuse my brother, no one liked him so he slept in the barn with the pigs. I'm Bjorn."

He brushes his hand over my hair and kneels, giving me his neck. Just like with the others as soon as I scent him he joins them in the bond. 

The last warrior steps up and Roan has this grin on his face like he's extra excited for me to meet him.

"This Siobhan is Leidolf."

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"So, you're the other man in my life."

He laughs.

"Apparently he found my life interesting enough to steal."

"Are you here for the show?"

"Yes, my father insisted I come down. He said the family would consider giving Roan their allegiance if he proved himself by doing what needs to be done. Honestly, uncle doesn't really want the throne anyway."

One of the tower guard's interrupts with a knock and pokes his head in.

"My Lord, they are ready in the council chambers."

Roan nods and holds his hand out. I take it, understanding the need to show a united front. We head out into the hallway Echo on Roan's right side, Calder on my left, Brego right by my knee. The twins casually fall in behind us as if they've done it a thousand times. Leidolf falls into place next to Echo clearly signaling to everyone that his allegiance in this matter lies with Roan.

We get to the door and the herald announces Roan and me.

"Prince Roan kom Azgeda and his intended the Lady Siobhan kom Ken-tah-the."

I blink, surprised the herald actually knows the ancient Cherokee name for the Kentucky territory.

There's a full gallery present. Lexa on the throne, Titus posted at her side, the ambassadors for each of the twelve clans, Lexa's privy council, Queen Nia, Conall and of course my father who wastes no time in making his way over, face filled with rage.

"You traitor!"

He gets no closer than ten feet before he finds himself facing the business end of a blade, with Calder on the other end and a snarling Brego. Calder smiles viciously.

"Try something please, I'm bored."

Whatever he sees in Calder's face unnerves him because he takes a step back but it's not enough to quell his anger at me.

"I'M the traitor? You traded our families honor to feed your greed, I made it right!"

"Our clan was treading a very thin line holding a neutral position Siobhan. With the conflict between Trikru and Trishanakru getting progressively worse we were being pushed to take a side. I decided to seize power for our house and ensure that no other clan was in a position to hurt us."

"So then why marry Fiona off to Holden?"

"Holden is weak, Fiona would rule him and I would rule Trikru through her."

"You are unbelievable, grandfather would be ashamed."

"And I should have dumped the snake under YOUR horse's hooves."

The entire room goes silent and frozen at those words except for twin horrified gasps. Conall is standing there with this desperate look on his face, like he's hoping that's not what father really said. I turn around and see Bernal is standing in the doorway with Emmett and he looks utterly betrayed. For everyone else the shock doesn't last long, they start chattering and Lexa speaks up to get everyone's attention.

"Let's return to the matter at hand, shall we? Guards, please take Chieftain Cumhail of Bluegrass into custody until the current proceedings can be finished. Cheannasaí Emmett, Bernal, please step forward and give your testimony."

I'm thankful Lexa has taken the reins because I can't focus, the words start to repeat in my head like a never-ending loop. Before it even has the chance to sink its teeth in though a wave of indescribable warmth and tranquility washes over me and I can feel the pack in my head, their bright spirits buoying mine. It makes it easier to straighten up and look my father in the eye as he's taken off to the corner. Conall pulls himself together and comes over to stand next to me as Emmett and Bernal take a spot in the center of the room.

"Commander, I am Bernal. I'm a simple corn farmer born and raised in Bluegrass. I always felt safe and never had reason to worry about my children until two weeks ago."

Titus steps forward.

"What happened two weeks ago?"

"I found my daughter's body in the barn lying in one of the horse stalls."

He chokes up and takes a moment to recover.

"Take your time."

"She had her throat slit Flamekeeper."

"Who is responsible for this horrible act?"

Bernal points at the Trikru ambassador.

"Trikru!"

He suddenly lunges at the ambassador screaming about vengeance and the guards grab him and haul him from the room. I want to weep in anguish. I've known Bernal since I was born and seeing the man who patiently taught me about the constellations, brought gifts for me from Tondc, who loved me like another daughter become this broken shell just about kills me. Emmett steps up to continue the testimony.

"We sent riders into the forest and caught the men responsible. They had the markings of Trikru."

The Trikru ambassador shoots to his feet.

"That's a lie!"

"They were identified by the facial tattoos Commander."

Queen Nia who had been silent up to this point speaks up.

"It's no secret that Trikru has never liked their neighbors because of their choice to maintain neutrality. Nor is it a secret that Trikru has reason to hold a grudge against them after what happened with the Trishanakru. Bluegrass knew about the attack they were planning on Trikru and chose not to say anything. I'd say that's reason enough to attack."

She smirks and looks over at our group. Titus speaks up.

"Do you have any evidence to present to support these allegations?"

"Witness accounts from myself and others including the Chieftain of Bluegrass and this."

He pulls out a blade and hands it to Titus.

"It was taken off of one of the attackers, you can clearly see it's Trikru by the markings on the hilt."

At this point, I can see the ambassadors are uncertain now who is responsible but their opinion is swinging towards Trikru. I have to give kudos to my father for coming up with that bit of deception to support his story. Lexa nods.

"Very well Lady Siobhan please step forward and give your testimony."

I come to the center and Emmett steps down giving me a nasty look.

"Two nights before the attack I was upset after a confrontation with my father about my betrothal to Azgeda so I ran off to the barn and I eventually fell asleep."

Nia spits out.

"Doesn't seem as if you are upset about the betrothal to my son now."

"That is neither here nor there Queen Nia."

"Of course, my apologies Commander please continue Siobhan."

Nia smiles snidely at me.

"When I woke up I heard him talking with three of his advisors on the other side of the wall. I wrote down everything they said, I can read it to the council if you'd like."

Titus nods.

"Please do."

I pull out the piece of paper and start to read.

**_“Have you received word from Queen Nia my Lord?”_ **

Queen Nia rolls her eyes.

"Are we really to believe this little show she has put on?"

"You will allow the Lady Siobhan to finish her testimony Queen Nia or you will be removed from the room."

I continue reading.

**_“_ ** **_Yes_ ** **_Marcus, things are in place and ready to go. The warriors she has chosen are desperate to cleanse their dishonor and they’ve agreed to do what is necessary to tip the scales.”_ **

**_“Will your son be a problem?”_ **

**_“No, he’s chasing our carefully laid trail.”_ **

**_“What about your younger daughter?”_ **

**_“I may have to choose another husband for her if Holden is not cooperative.”_ **

**_“We’ve received word the spies have successfully positioned themselves amongst the clan ambassadors in Polis.”_ **

**_“Good, when the people find out about_ ** **_Trikru’s_ ** **_crimes Lexa will have no choice but to condemn her own clan including her lover. When she is shown to be weak it should be easy for the Ice Nation to deal with her. Within six months_ ** **_Ontari_ ** **_will rule as Commander and the other clans will kneel to the combined might of_ ** **_Azgeda_ ** **_and Bluegrass.”_ **

I fold the paper up and tuck it in my back pocket. 

"After the attack happened I was suspicious of my father's accusation that Trikru did it so I did some digging. I found out father was burning the bodies of the raiders. I thought that was odd but he gave a good reason for it. I still wasn't convinced though, I was sure he had burned the bodies to cover up the Azgedan facial scars. I dug in the ash and found this."

I hold up the birth token.

"All of you recognize this? It's an Azgedan birth token, given to a child when they are born and worn around the neck till they die when it is buried with them."

One of the Azgedan ambassadors speaks up.

"So, you have evidence and so does Cheannasaí Emmett."

I nod.

"Then let's examine the evidence more closely ambassador. One of us is lying so it follows that either the necklace or the sword is a fake."

Titus comes down from the dais.

"I concur. We need the Librarian to confirm the authenticity of these items."

One of the guards immediately exits the room to summon one and I breathe a sigh of relief. The Librarians are responsible for maintaining the archives of all the clan histories as well as the records recovered from the world before Praimfaya. Their life's work is the preservation of knowledge, when they enter into service to the library they forfeit their allegiance to their birth clan and take no sides in any conflict just as the Flamekeepers do. Whatever determination they make regarding the items, it will be taken as truth. I can see Emmett getting nervous, he knows as well as I do that the blade will be revealed a forgery. He has no choice but to play it out though and hope that he gets clemency.

While we're waiting, Nia comes strolling over.

"Congratulations are in order I see. I can't say I'm pleased about it."

"Yes well, I can't say I'm pleased with some of the relations I will acquire either."

"Oh she has a bit of backbone how delightful."

I'm about to say something when one of the librarians is escorted into the room and Nia wanders back over to her guards. All eyes are on the librarian as Titus hands over the sword and the necklace for him to examine. After several nerve wracking minutes where he is studiously looking over the items he lifts his head to make his pronouncement. 

"The Azgedan birth token is authentic, however, the Trikru blade is a forgery."

With that, he scrubs off the markings on the hilt which if genuine would not have been possible and the entire room explodes into noise. Both Emmett and my father attempt to escape but are subdued relatively quickly. Lexa lets it go on for about a minute before she stands up and lets out a piercing whistle which has everyone in the room immediately going silent.

"In light of the evidence, it has been proven that Chieftain Cumhail and Cheannasaí Emmett are guilty of treason, bearing false witness and murder. They will be taken to the Temple grounds tonight where the sentence of death will be carried out. Blood must have blood."

The Trikru ambassador speaks up.

"What about Queen Nia."

Queen Nia steps forward with a smile.

"You all failed to prove I had anything to do with any of this. The raiders were Azgedan yes but they were splita, cast out."

My father starts to struggle with the guards.

"You were the one who came to ME. You needed a way in for Ontari!"

She looks over at him with wide eyes and a perfectly innocent look.

"Who's Ontari?"

I fold my arms and look over at her.

"So then what would be their motivation to help my father?"

"Perhaps they were hoping to start over with a new clan? It's not unheard of for those cast out of one clan to join another."

I grit my teeth. Unfortunately, she has a good point and without any real proof other than my testimony she was involved it looks like she will get away with it. The only evidence of her involvement is the conversation I overheard and that's not enough. Roan looks pissed but he has no more control over it than I do. Lexa calls the trial to a close and dismisses everyone instructing the guards to take my father and Emmett to the cells. 

I look over at Conall and he's standing there clenching his fists. Anger, grief, despair, disbelief, it's all flickering across his face in rapid succession and I feel bad for him. He should have had many more years before he was expected to shoulder the burden of ruling a clan and on top of it he'll have to root out the traitors within Bluegrass as I'm certain father has more supporters for his plan than just three of his advisors, Emmett and members of the Light Horse. Abruptly he turns his anger on me.

"I was worried sick Siobhan! You just took off in the middle of the night and no one knew where you went! Then I find out you were on your way here, you could have been killed!"

"I'm sorry Conall but I had no choice."

"Why couldn't you have sent Aiden?"

"Because he was needed to stay behind and help you. I found out Emmett was in on it so I needed someone else who had the loyalty of Light Horse to hold the line if something happened."

"Yes well father had already made plans to come here and now I know why, he wanted to make sure things went according to plan. I don't think he expected to be summoned to answer charges of treason though."

"Where is Fiona?"

"She's at home overseeing things with Aiden. Dammit Siobhan why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you would have confronted father and wound up locked in a cell till it was all over."

He winces and looks down at the floor.

"That big old heroic streak you have is not a bad thing Conall, this was just one of those times it would have been a liability."

He sighs and envelops me in a bear hug.

"I'm glad you're ok."

Stepping back, he looks from me to Roan.

"Is there anything else you'd like to tell me, Siobhan?

I smile.

"Let's just say my opinions about the Azgedan's have evolved."

He clasps forearms with Roan.

"You break my baby sister's heart I will run you through."

"I hurt your baby sister you won't have to."

"Ugh are you guys done?"

Conall kisses the top of my head.

"You're my sister I'll always look out for you."

He pauses like he's not sure I'll like his next statement.

"Uhh.......I'm going to see father. I just......I don't..."

I see Conall needs closure so I squeeze his arm.

"It's ok, I've said all I need to but if you don't.....you were always closer to him than Fiona and I so......you need to do this or you'll regret it."

"Thank you."

Conall strides out with his shoulders slumped and that ball of guilt gets a little bigger.

Roan reaches out and wraps me in his arms resting his cheek on the top of my head.

"It's not your fault Siobhan, the blame lies solely on your father and the choices he made."

"I know I just...I always felt responsible for Conall even though he's older. He's always had this optimism, this faith that the good guys are heroes and they always win. I'm more of a realist and maybe I did him a disservice but I tried to protect him from the stuff that would make him question that faith."

"You did the right thing and he'll get through it. He's strong, like his sister."

Lexa comes up with sympathy and chagrin written all over her face.

"I'm sorry but we didn't have enough to charge the Queen Roan."

"You followed the law Lexa there's nothing to apologize for."

She looks at me.

"The ceremony will be tonight at moonrise and as acting Chieftain your brother will carry out the sentence."

"I will carry out the sentence, not my brother."

Lexa looks shocked but Roan just nods, he remembers me telling him I didn't want to my brother to have to do it.

"Is there a law against having someone other than the head of clan carrying out the sentence?"

"Well no but.."

"Then it's settled. I will not have this on my brother's conscience."

Lexa gets a frown on her face.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Very well. Then tonight I will give you the blade and justice will be served."

We all look up to see Nia approaching.

"Well, as riveting as this has been I have business to attend to."

She smirks and goes to walk out but Roan steps in her path.

"This isn't the end of this mother, you WILL be held accountable for your crimes."

"Careful Roan, that almost sounded like a threat. You might want to remember there's another heir and it's not the bastard your grandfather sired with that twit."

She dismisses Roan and casually strolls out of the room with her guards leaving him standing there clenching his fists in fury. Leidolf speaks up quietly.

"Now I know why you were so hesitant to confront her if she had this hanging over your head."

Calder gestures to the door.

"Let's go next door and we can talk about this in private, there are too many nosy people in here."

I look up and sure enough, there are several ambassadors trying to unobtrusively get close enough to hear our conversation. 

As soon as we get next door and Calder is standing guard in the hallway I turn to Roan.

"You never mentioned there was another heir."

"It's not something I like to talk about."

I can tell it's a painful subject so I just nod, squeezing his arm.

"You don’t have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No, you're my mate you should know."

We all take seats and I park myself on the arm of the couch next to him.

"My father was betrothed to marry another woman before my mother came along. He couldn't keep his hands to himself till the wedding and she wound up pregnant, died giving birth to their son. Grandfather arranged a new marriage for father with my mother and sent the son off to be raised by his mother's family. The only reason my half-brother is still breathing is the family has some well-placed loyalists looking out for them. If my mother chooses she can try and remove me from the succession and grant him the title of Crown Prince. My father passed away two years ago and my grandfather as you know is ill so there would be no one of sufficient rank to stand in her way."

"So much for motherly love."

Echo sets down the candlestick she was fiddling with and looks at me.

"Queen Nia's always resented being the consolation prize for Roan's father. That and she carries a grudge against the entire universe for being born human."

"Well that explains her whole purity thing. She sees herself as less than pure so she feels like she has to make up for it. I'm surprised she gave her blessing for you and me Roan."

"She had to, you're my mate. The mating bond is a sacred thing even she wouldn't mess with."

"I'm sorry about your father Roan and I wish there was something I could do for your grandfather."

He smiles and takes my hand, turning it over and placing a kiss in the palm. Gunnar slaps his knees and gets up.

"We'll find another way to get the bitch and we have a few hours till moonrise, let's go see what kind of trouble we can get into at the market!"

Bjorn comes over and holds his hand out.

"He's right, no sense sitting around wringing our hands."

I take his hand, grateful they seem to know I need a distraction lest I DO sit around wringing my hands. He tucks my hand under his arm and looks back at Roan grinning.

"Come on then, you’re paying!"

Roan rolls his eyes and lets out a long-suffering sigh as if he does this all the time. Echo shakes her head laughing.

"You made them Pack, little late to regret it now."

Leidolf just snorts and claps Roan on the back.

"Listen, I will tell my family what happened and recommend they support you as heir. You've changed since you were younger, changed for the better."

"Thank you, that means a lot."

Gunnar hollers from the hallway.

"Are you coming or not? Brego needs to piss and there's a beer with my name on it somewhere in this noisy cesspool I'd like to acquaint myself with!"

We all head out to the hallway and run into Conall on the way down. His eyes are red rimmed from crying and he looks utterly despondent. I look over at Roan and he knows what's in my mind before I say a word.

"Go with your brother, he needs you. We'll come get you at moonrise."

"Thank you."

They all scent me before heading out, all but Leidolf who gives me a brief hug. Roan comes over and gives me a piercingly sweet kiss, instructing Brego to stay with me before following after. I take Conall's hand and lead him to my room, leaving the door open for Brego to go out. I don't manage to get my brother to talk, the grief is still too fresh but I do get him to eat a little before he falls asleep buried under my covers. When Brego gets back I curl up at the table by the window and share some roasted chicken with him before sneaking out and going to look for Bernal. 

I quickly find him in the infirmary fast asleep on one of the beds. The doctor sees me checking on him and comes over.

"Good evening Lady Siobhan, he's a friend?"

"A good friend."

"We had to give him something to make him sleep, he was irrational with grief and anger. He'll be out until tomorrow morning at least."

"Thank you for taking care of him, I'll be back in the morning then."

I head back upstairs with Brego. It's still at least four hours before moonrise so I decide to nap a little, curling up with Conall in the big bed. It reminds me of the days when we were little. I used to frequently wander over to Conall's room after a nightmare and never once did he complain about being woken up. He'd just lift the covers and wrap his arms around me and the monsters would vanish. Now years later he's the one trapped in a nightmare and unfortunately, this monster can't be vanquished with cuddles.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheirotonia - "stretching forth the hands. Greek.  
> Storr Ulvehi - Storr = wolf Ulvehi = great lair Azgeda's Great Den.  
> Völva - loosely translated "shaman"  
> Systir - Norwegian for sister  
> kom Ken-tah-the - the ancient Cherokee word for the territory that is now Kentucky  
> Cheannasaí - old Irish term for Commander


	19. Is evil for the sake of good really evil?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sentencing is carried out, another secret is exposed and Siobhan's father has some interesting things to say.

I wake up later and Conall is sitting against the headboard scratching Brego’s belly. Roan is at the table by the window with Echo, Calder is out on the balcony talking to Leidolf and Gunnar and Bjorn are playing with the knickknacks on the shelves.

“How long was I out?”

Roan gets up and comes over, leaning down and giving me a kiss.

“Not long, we have thirty minutes till the ceremony.”

I roll out of bed and pause at the bathroom door looking at Conall.

“You alright?”

“I’ll be alright, it’ll just take some time.”

I nod and head into the bathroom. Roan must have been busy cause there’s already hot water in the basin and a fresh towel. I clean up my face and brush my hair out, changing into a clean set of leathers. I come back out and Roan is waiting with the silver torc he sent me in the very beginning as my betrothal gift. 

"Don't you think it's time you wore this?"

“How the heck?”

He smiles.

“I sent a missive to your brother and he brought it with him.”

I look over at Conall and he just shrugs. Turning my back to Roan I lift my hair so he can place the torc around my neck. It’s chilly at first but soon warms on contact with my skin. I step over to the mirror to get a look at it and in the moonlight coming from the window, it’s magnificent. 

“It’s beautiful Roan.”

“Thank you, took me two months to fashion it.”

“YOU made it?”

“Traditionally any betrothal gift from an Azgedan to their mate is made by them. It’s considered insulting to give your intended something you didn’t put your own sweat into.”

“I really wanted to chuck it out the window when I first got it you know. I was pissed you and my father went and made the decision for me, I felt like I was getting bought.”

Conall speaks up.

“She was pissed alright and so was I. Your reputation proceeded you so to our way of thinking father had just sold her off to savages.”

“Well, I certainly hope that opinion has changed.”

Conall walks by and pats Roan on the shoulder.

“You have my blessing Jo-sda-da-hnv-tli.”

I lean up and kiss Roan.

“It means brother in Cherokee.”

Roan looks over at Conall and nods, putting his fist against his heart.

“You are family now, that makes you honorary Ice Nation.”

Conall nods and takes my hand. Calder and Leidolf come in from the balcony and Calder gestures outside.

“The bonfire has been lit, it’s time.”

We head downstairs and I stop at the infirmary to check on Bernal. The doctor comes out shaking his head.

"He's still quite irrational. I think he held on long enough to get here and see that he would have justice done and then just fell apart."

I close my eyes in grief and then open them in anger looking at Roan.

"We WILL see to it your mother pays for her crimes."

"Absolutely."

We all file out with Brego and head to the Coliseum. The place is packed, everyone wanting to see the sentence carried out. After all, it was rare that a death sentence was carried out and rarer still that it was someone of my father's rank. I see the ambassadors from all the clans as well as Queen Nia, Indra and Lexa sitting on the dais. I look up and see the bonfire burning brightly on top of the pedestal in the center of the arena floor, the last time it burned was during the final battle to decide who would be the next Commander.

Conall and I take our seats on the dais along with Roan, Calder takes his place behind my left shoulder and Echo behind Roan’s. Brego winds up curling at my feet and Leidolf and the twins push their way into a spot on the ground in front of where Roan and I are sitting. 

"Such a lovely trinket Siobhan."

I look over and see Nia smirking at me.

"It's a shame it didn't go to someone more appropriate."

I lean in close so only she can hear.

"Don't take your anger at being born human out on me Nia."

She lifts her chin and flicks a glance at Roan.

"You told her about our family?"

"You brought it up in the council chambers when you mentioned the other heir mother what did you expect?"

She looks at me with an eyebrow raised.

"Clever deduction."

I don't bother to tell her it was Echo who told me of her deep-seated grudge, she doesn't need to know that.

The crowd suddenly goes silent as Titus walks out into the center of the arena and raises his hands.

"We are here tonight in the service of justice. Chieftain Cumhail kom Ken-tah-the and Cheannasaí Emmett kom Ken-tah-the have been found guilty of treason, bearing false witness and murder. Will the aggrieved parties stand."

Conall, myself, Indra, Lexa and the Azgedan representative stand. Titus gestures to Indra.

"Please state your grievance."

"It was my clan that was falsely accused of committing the murders in Bluegrass. My clan who would have suffered if not for the actions of the Lady Siobhan."

He gestures at Lexa.

"It was my birth clan that was falsely accused and my position threatened by a lie."

He looks at the Azgedan representative.

"He brought dishonor to the Ice Nation when he used our own splita to carry out his evil deeds."

Finally, he looks at Conall and me.

"My father has brought shame to my clan, my house, and my home. Our people have died in the service of his greed."

Titus gestures to the posts at the base of the pedestal. 

"They have been found guilty, crimes of this magnitude can only be answered by one thing, death. Blood must have blood. Bring out the accused."

My father and Emmett are brought out from behind the dais and swiftly tied to the posts. Titus comes and stands before them.

"Do either of you have anything to say before the sentence is carried out?"

Emmett says silent, looking down at the pavement. My father looks straight at me.

"When the thirteenth clan comes you will rue the day you allowed the strength of one voice to be scattered into many. You saw it, you know what is coming!"

I suck in a shocked breath. How did my father know about this? The crowd starts whispering among themselves and shooting me betrayed looks like I hid something from them. Titus gets everyone's attention.

"People, I can assure you if there is any merit to this story we will discuss it with Lady Siobhan. Now we must see to justice being served."

He pulls out the ceremonial knife, the same one that is used for all executions. I find myself wondering how many lives it has ended. Titus walks over and hands it to Lexa.

"As Commander, you may draw first blood, then Indra, the ambassador and lastly family."

Lexa takes the knife and stands in front of my father. 

"Your daughter has more honor and courage than you do, it's a shame your clan rules through its men."

She strikes with the blade and leaves a gash down my father's forearm. Then she does the same to Emmett saying nothing to him. Turning she passes the blade to Indra who spits at the both of them.

"I always knew you were a coward Cumhail, hopefully, your son does a better job."

She slashes across my father's abdomen with a quick angry strike and does the same to Emmett then passes the blade to the ambassador who says nothing, leaving a bloody line down the opposite forearm for both men. I take the knife from him next and put my hand on Conall's shoulder whispering to him.

"You don't have to do any of this Conall, let me be the one to extract justice."

He nods and steps back. I walk over aware that the eyes of everyone watching are on me. I get close enough to not be overheard by anyone but Emmett.

"How did you know about the thirteenth clan?"

"I was given a vision just as you were. The destruction that I saw coming is one of the reasons I did what I did Siobhan. For us to survive we cannot be disparate voices like we are now, separate clans fighting amongst ourselves. Having a Commander is not enough even with the loyalty she commands. We need to be one nation, one sword, one shield or we risk losing everything."

"What about Azgeda? Wasn’t your plan to have us and them ruling over everything?"

"For the time being yes but eventually Azgeda would have absorbed all the other clans including ours."

"You would have allowed our house to be eliminated?"

"If it saves us from what is to come yes. I had always intended that you and Roan would become King and Queen of the Winter throne. With your brother ruling Bluegrass, your sister ruling Trikru and Ontari as Commander we would have had enough power to do what needed to be done. Ontari would serve her purpose and then be eliminated, you and Roan would be rulers of a single great nation."

"Didn't you make clear you wished I had been the one to die?"

"Words chosen to make you a martyr."

"But this great nation would have been built on a lie!"

"It was necessary, do you think Indra and the other clan leaders will just give up their power if you tell them what is to come? No, they need to be forced and if necessary eliminated if they prove to be an obstacle to survival."

"Does Nia know about any of this?"

"That narcissist? No, and she wouldn't care if she did but it doesn't matter she will not be on the throne for long."

"I can't believe, I just......"

"What was the one affliction we had to deal with every summer when the horses were turned out to the pasture?"

"Poisoning from the Yew plant."

"It is also toxic to humans is it not?"

"Yes."

"What would happen if an elderly person was exposed to it over time?"

"Uhhh the heart rate slows, difficulty breathing, diarrhea, digestive problems and eventually heart failure."

"King Theo is not ill, he's being progressively poisoned by Nia's hand."

"How do you know that?"

"Let's just say her and I don't fully trust one another and I was hanging onto that little secret for leverage. You can follow the trail if you seek out Dara. Now end it."

He looks beyond my shoulder and says loudly.

"I have nothing more to say to you."

I consider what he said and what I know. I consider my conscience and my brother. I consider justice and the needs of the people and come to a decision. I step up to my father and draw the blade across his throat, one strike deep enough to kill within seconds. While he is swiftly bleeding out I deliver the same death to Emmett and step back clutching the knife.

The crowd goes wild. I turn to face Lexa and the others, speaking loudly enough to be heard by all.

"Let my actions here tonight erase the stain on my family's honor and renew our pledge to serve the Law."

I step over to Lexa and kneel before her, handing her the knife hilt first. After a moment Conall kneels alongside me. Lexa takes the knife and stands.

"Let it be known there will be no grudge against the way Lady Siobhan chose to carry out the sentence, final justice is hers and hers alone. Let it also be known Clan Bluegrass is cleansed of this sin and is to be welcomed back to the Coalition. Through her actions, the Lady Siobhan has proven her clan's loyalty and obedience to the law. With the death of Chieftain Cumhail I hereby recognize Chieftain Conall as the new head of clan."

She steps down from the dais and lays her hand on Conall's shoulder.

"I won't congratulate you Conall, I know this is not how you wanted to inherit your father's seat."

Conall nods at her and leans in and hugs me.

"Thank you, Siobhan."

I can hear the tears stuck in his throat fighting to get out, this is going to be something that will take a while to deal with. 

"Listen I need to be alone for a bit but I'm going to head home in the morning. Fiona and Aiden are running the show but I think I need to jump into things it'll help me..."

"I get it, you do what you need to. I have things to settle here but I'm planning on stopping by on the way North in a day or two. Are you going to send the message home about everything?"

"I'll take care of it."

He nods and heads off to the tower. Lexa looks at me pointedly.

"We are going to have a discussion about that comment regarding the thirteenth clan."

"I promise I was not keeping it from anyone, I just found out about it as I was traveling here to warn you about my father's treachery."

"I want all the ambassadors present and you as well Indra, Roan."

"Well that was interesting, I would have made them suffer a bit more but to each his own. Roan, I expect you back home within the week, we have things to go over."

With that Nia turns and walks out trailing her sycophants and guards. Calder spits in her direction.

"I hate that woman."

By now the crowd has dispersed talking animatedly about my decision to show mercy rather than follow the tradition and speculating about the whole thirteenth clan. Indra comes up as we are getting ready to head back to the tower.

"I would not have ended things the way you did but I will honor any alliance your brother makes with Trikru and I give my blessing to the betrothal between your sister and my son."

"Thank you, Indra."

"I would be careful though."

"Why?"

"With your brother's ascension and you and your sister's marriages, your family will control three out of the twelve clans. With your mother being kin to the rulers of Blue Cliff that gives you influence with a fourth, that's a lot for one family."

I sigh and rub my hand over my face in exasperation. 

"Thanks for the warning Indra."

We go our separate ways, her to wherever she is staying and the rest of us to the tower. 

Roan and I wind up in his room and as soon as the door closes everything I've been hiding and holding back comes out. Roan is there to catch me when the tears start to fall. He guides me into the bathroom where I notice the bathtub is already filled with piping hot water and I can smell sage, pine and sweet fig in the air. 

"How did you...?"

"I sent a tower servant ahead to set up the tub while you were............I knew you'd need it."

I soak up the comfort and peace I can feel through the bond and my tears start anew when I feel the others reach out to me too and send support. Roan gently takes my clothes off and tucks me into the tub, quickly following after.

"Now tonight it's you and me, the Pack is watching over everything including your brother and Bernal, Brego is staying with Gunnar and Bjorn so all you have to do is let me pamper you."

"Mmmmm I love you."

"I would hope so, I don't do this kind of thing for all the girls you know."

He kisses me on my head. 

"I love you too."

Before long I'm half asleep as he massages the cleanser into my hair.

"About what my father told me...."

"No, I can learn about it tomorrow with everyone else."

"Ok ok."

He washes the cleanser from my hair and starts on my back. I decide to bring up a lighter topic of conversation.

"So how was the trip to the tavern?"

He laughs.

"Well, Gunnar got into a drinking contest and won but wound up passed out under a table. Bjorn spent the evening reciting atrocious poetry he wrote to some woman I'm not certain was, in fact, a woman. Calder spent the time outside your door which was his job....."

"Wait what?"

"Echo is my second but also my personal bodyguard, Calder is yours."

"I have a bodyguard?"

"Of course, if you decide to accept the crown and you are ok with it I intended to put him in charge of the Queensguard."

"I wouldn't object to that."

"Good, you'll find no finer warrior. Anyway, poor Echo was fending off the attentions of some idiot from Ouskejonkru."

I laugh.

"Hey watch it, that's my mother's clan."

"My mistake. Leidolf and I spent the time discussing the throne and his support of me."

"Mmmm well looks like I missed quite the show."

He winks at me.

"We'll have to get Bjorn to reenact his poetry reading for you then."

I laugh.

"I'm not that upset about missing it."

He lifts my arms up and gently washes each one before moving onto my breasts, playfully brushing each nipple and then moving across my abdomen. He picks up the other pitcher of clean water and washes all the soap off, sets it down and rests his hand on my stomach. His attentions to my breasts have gotten me excited and I know he can feel it through the bond, I can certainly feel the effect having me naked between his legs has had but I can also feel he's hesitant to take things any further after what happened. That consideration on his part makes me certain when I take his hand and slide it down between my legs, spreading my thighs and leaning back with my head on his shoulder.

"Are you sure, I didn't think after what happened."

"I want to be taken out of my head Roan, please."

He nods and slides his fingers inside me, working my sensitive spot and rubbing his thumb over my clit. His other arm comes around and plays with my nipples, pinching and squeezing. I close my eyes and reach down under the water to clasp his hand, joining my fingers with his and pressing my hips into his strokes. It doesn't take long before my body tenses and I come squeezing his fingers. When the spasming subsides, I stand up and turn around straddling his lap, reaching for his cock and guiding it inside me. He drops his head back onto the rim of the tub with a groan and grasps my hips in his hands. I lean in and kiss him, holding his shoulders as I rotate my hips, slowly fucking myself on him. The bond flares up bright and beautiful reflecting our mutual pleasure and I let it wash over me, setting aside the sorrow and the guilt and the anger. For a long while there is nothing but fingers, teeth, and tongues coaxing bliss from our bodies, the redolent scent of pine and sage and fig rising with the steam, the heat and the quiet moaning breaking the silence.

The water is going cold by the time we drag ourselves out and dry off. He puts on loose pants and I throw on a nightshift before wandering out onto the balcony with a glass of wine. He follows and we both take in the view. I wonder how very different this view looked when man had electricity. 

"Roan I need to tell you something, it can't wait till tomorrow."

"Ok."

"My father told me your grandfather isn't ill, he's being poisoned."

He closes his eyes and drops his head down as if he isn't surprised.

"You said it probably wasn't coincidence and I prayed you were wrong. It makes sense, she would have wanted him out of the way for her little plan to work. It's why I sent out a message last night to some allies and told them to get my grandfather out just in case."

"He said I should seek out Dara if want to uncover the conspiracy."

"Dara I don't know anyone named Dara."

"Well, he implied we needed her to prove your mother is responsible."

"Did he say what it was my mother was using?"

"Yew. It's a weed that's all over Kentucky, every year we go through the pastures and dig it up by the roots and every year it comes back. The horses get into it and it makes them ill, reduced heart rate, difficulty breathing, diarrhea, digestive problems and if we don't get them treatment in time, heart failure."

"Those are his exact symptoms."

"Well, it's toxic to people too but not as bad as it is with horses. How long has your grandfather been ill?"

"For months, six at least."

"Then it's probably being administered to your father a little at a time. It would build up in his body and he would get progressively worse until he died of it. It's not native to your part of the North so someone would have had to get it from outside Azgeda."

"How do you treat the horses for it?"

"We have to forcibly empty the stomach and then give them charcoal to absorb the toxins, make sure they get plenty of water to flush out the system, herbs to stabilize blood pressure and monitor for heart irregularities."

"Is it possible to do the same for a werewolf?"

"Uhhh maybe I mean the fact that's he's a shifter is probably why he's survived this long. I can work with your healer to get what I need. I can't be certain how far along it is or how he's getting exposed to it until I see him."

"Thank you. I know you want to see your brother officially take the throne but...."

"It's ok, we can stay the night at Claiborne and head North the next day. You should have them start treatment now though. Have them give him charcoal, that'll at least start to clear the poison from his system and you can't accidentally hurt him with it. Tell them to make sure he gets plenty of water too but I can't recommend doing anything else without me being there."

"You are amazing Siobhan."

I blush and look down at the stone.

"I wouldn't be with any man who was less than amazing themselves."

"Ugh, you guys are making me ill."

We look over at the next balcony and see Conall pantomiming making himself sick.

I give him a very rude gesture in return. 

"I had to put up with your crap when you were courting Catriona and it was way worse!"

He smiles and heads inside. Roan and I decide to do the same, curling up in the big bed and dropping off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Yew plant is a real plant that is toxic to both horses and humans.


End file.
